To Think My Obesity Isn't a Public Issue?

[Hesdeadjim]

I'm obese.

I've dropped 30lbs since new years day and it's all going swimmingly. I'm no longer morbidly obese (huzzah!) but I'm still "normal" obese.

Anyway!

Today I was dishing out my lunch and a colleague decided to critique it for me and tell me all the places I'm going wrong with my diet, which, in her opinion, is why I'm "the size I am" This is a pretty common thing to happen in our work place, I work with a few people with no filter.

1. You shouldnt have dressing on your salad (it was full fat ceasar)
2. Don't add cheese (full fat parmasan)
3. Avocados are bad because they are high calorie (there was half an avocado)
4. You need more protein so you dont snack later (there was 200g chicken breast on there)
5. You only need to eat breakfast OR lunch, not both (I had a coffee with double cream in it for breakfast).

So I explained that I'm on a high fat, low carb way of eating and doing well on it so far, to which she wrinkled her nose and said it's a fad diet and will never work. I should eat low carb AND low fat to lose weight. I did my usual "aah thanks for the advice, I'll bear that in mind" conversation dodge and retreated to clean up my lunch prep.

This then sparked another colleague to chip in and start a whole discussion about obesity related disease and how people are fat through choice. He thought I couldn't hear because I was around the corner behind the fridge door so it wasn't meant to hurt me or anything. The conversation progressed to chatting about how they'd seen documentaries where people were eating doughnuts and takeaways then wondering why they were fat. It wasn't a nice conversation. I slammed the fridge door loudly as i left but I don't think it registered.

AIBU to be fed up about being a bloody conversation starter? My weight is my problem and I completely, whole heartedly accept responsibility for it but I don't think it pre-qualifies me for a life of feeling shit about myself because other people make assumptions about my lifestyle??

I've had comments at the gym before which have stopped me going and even out for walks with my dogs I overheard a couple saying "poor dogs clearly never get walked"... fyi my dogs are walked 4 miles a day everyday and we do a 12 mile walk most weekends

I feel properly rubbish now and as if no matter how much weight I lose I'm always going to feel the need to apologize for myself I'm sick of people making assumptions about my health because of my weight and tired of feeling the need to explain the food I eat to everyone. THere was a guy sat at a table in the lunch area munching down on a massive chunk of birthday cake while the conversation was happening today and no one batted an eye.

Sorry, needed to get that out. Feeling properly crap.

you''ll get ridiculous comments when you hit target too...in other words, twats are everywhere....just keep on doing what you're doing......and ignore them

YANBU! People should mind their own business! I'm a firm believer in eating fats - the 'dont eat avocado they're full of calories' made me laugh.

I get this too but on the opposite end. I've always been very slim my whole life. I also do alot of exercise. Apparently this means people at work can call me 'skinny minny' and pinch my 'skinny waist' etc. If I pinched their waist and said 'fatty watty' there'd be hell on!

It isn't just obesity. It seems like everything people put in their mouths is fair game! Well done on the weight loss if it's what you want and it makes you happy.

When I was (very) thin, I used to get "when did you last eat?" "Is that all you're having?" "A bar of chocolate won't kill you you know".

Grit your teeth, smile and nod 😉

Like Pollydonia I'm now disabled by a chronic illness so lack of exercise combined with meds has caused my weight to sky rocket. Anyone with an opinion can fuck off. My weight has no effect on their lives whatsoever, so they can butt out of my life.

Well done on the weight loss - and as a low-carber (for years now - it really satiates me and I love the food) I can tell you that your lunch, and breakfast, was perfect.

30lbs is amazing!

refuse to discuss your meal. Tell them it's boring chatting about your lunch and what did they get up to this weekend?

It's a great way of eating! I had chicken breast with shallots and chillis at lunch, if you are someone that is at risk of t2 diabetes then it is perfect. Well done OP, I've been there, used to weigh 24 stone. I add cheese to everything these days, think of it as extra protein!

Some people are boringly obsessed with diets. They can talk about it for hours. Personally, I can't think of anything duller.

I've recently dropped a couple of dress sizes. (I'm now "overweight" rather than "obese", yay!) I've had a few people ask what method I'm using etc. I change the subject. It's just my fecking dress size. If you have to say something, just say "you look nice", don't interrogate me about it.

And well done, OP!

It is not your weight causing the comments, just rubbish people. I used to be super skinny and the amount of interest in my lunch and various comments was ridiculous. I was actually skinny due to stress causing me to lose my appetite and the feeling of being watched and judged while eating was horrible and put me off even more. Do your best to ignore, ignore, ignore.

Wow 30lb weight loss, your doing something right. I would just tell them "do you mean to be so rude"!

Well done you!
It's just bloody rude.
I've lost a lot of weight, about 8.5 stone and suddenly it's all people can talk to me about! My weight wasn't up for discussion at 19 stone and it's not up for discussion now either. People make so many assumptions about weight and peoples desire to discuss their own bodies. It drives me mad! Same with food. I wasn't interested in anyone's opinion on my lunch this time last year and I'm still not!
You're doing incredibly well, it makes people jealous. I'd be very tempted to use the "do you mean to be so rude" next time.

Ignorant fuckers! Ignore them, you're doing great, you won't always be big but they'll always be wankers!

YANBU you have done well to lose 30 lbs in 3 months.

They are rude and insensitive. Try not to get drawn into these kinds of conversations - easier said than done, I know. Maybe prepare a stock answer for the comments along the lines of 'I am happy with my diet and my weight loss, thanks.'

Also grow a thicker skin. People highlight their own thoughts about themselves and their own funny hangups in offering you advice. It says more about them and their attitudes, then you. Don't get involved in discussions. Talk about other stuff.

People always always always find something to comment. If you're overweight and eat something in front of them, it's "should you be eating that?". I'm currently not eating very much at all and the comments are a mix of "Ooh trying to lose weight are we?" and trying to force me to eat things.

We seem to have an obsession with food in this country - namely, what other people are eating. You are doing brilliantly and I think people feel threatened when other people are losing weight, which could account for their comments. Keep at it, you're doing an amazing job!

That's the other thing, When people automatically assume you're on a diet when they see a fat person eating a salad and therefore it's fine to offer "advice"...

Even at my absolute chronically huge I loved a good salad and even when I was totally "off the wagon" it was a staple lunch meal.

I think the thing I hate most is people assuming I got this big by not caring. I was put on my first diet at 7 years old by my Mum. It was Slimfast and I used to have the shakes but the dinner ladies would take pity on me and give me a lunch as well. I've been on diet after diet after diet since. Can't remember a time in my life when my weight wasn't an issue and yet I hit morbid obesity regardless.

Admittedly, sticking to diets was a nightmare and because I started at such a young age I ended up with some pretty horrific issues with food. I still can't eat in front of family or new people for example.

It's like people think I chose this?

For anyone reading this thinking fat people do choose to be fat: No, we really don't.

You are quite right to be annoyed, congratulations for doing so well. You are clearly heading in the right direction and are doing a very good job of it.

To the lady who said you need to follow both a low carb and low fat eating plan to loose weight, I suggest you remind her that whatever you are doing is working and that you see no reason to change it until it stops working. I lost over 4 stone doing the complete opposite (low fat high carb), but what suits one doesn't always suit another.

Please don't feel embarrassed to go back to the gym. Gyms are places for people to improve and maintain fitness. Why should anyone feel ashamed of that.

Well done and good luck to you.

I believe the collective term for this type of people is "a brace of douchecanoes"

Unfortunately you will always encounter people like this. I always reassure myself that they must have very empty little lives to feel the need to comment so intently on someone else's.

Well done on your progress so far! Keep at it and focus on making yourself feel good :)

MrFMercury you 're where I want to be in a year, I'm so very envious. Huge huge well done

Well done you and sorry about people who can't keep their pie hole shut. I'm almost 30w pregnant and so fed up of bloody comments. Yes I have a huge bump, I have a tall husband and had a big baby last time whoopdiedoo. I eat a lot, but of v healthy food. I have one treat a day, apart from that its fruit and veg and blah blah. Every time I walk past the door staff at work with a frozen yogurt/ ice cream/ twix whatever the hell I fancied 5 hours into a 9 hour shift I get a "that'll be harder to shift after baby is born" or "is it sugar time then?" even "are you sure you want to eat that?" once!!! They are three men. Its humiliating. Hormones have been mostly under control so far, but can see one of them getting a frozen yogurt dumped on their head in the next ten weeks... it makes me feel absolutely shite when I'm doing the best I can to even keep working and eating as healthily as I do when our office is full of crap eaters!

Well done you OP - really really really

So few people have the gumption to do this

Be proud listen to this thread and keep going

You've made fantastic progress and obviously found a diet that's working for you. I'm sure if you need advice in the future, you're capable of asking for any thoughts and changes that could be made. Please please ignore your colleagues and not let them get to you, if anything, prove them wrong that you can stick at this and do it by eating healthy food.

By the way, I'm assuming you had a dressing, cheese, half avocado, chicken as well as breakfast and lunch. I always have a dressing with my salad, love cheese, sometimes have avocado, eat breakfast and lunch and I'm not overweight, ie your diet works for me, so ignore them (only reason I wouldn't have the chicken is that I'm veggie, but if you're eating meat then it's full of protein and low fat). A diet is about healthy eating and something you enjoy, otherwise it's never going to work.

Yes low carb, low fat will make you lose weight, but you'll be knackered and hungry.

Yours is a very sensible diet regime - and is obviously working.

Some people, however, are just twats.

Congrats on weight loss so far and ignore the idiots out there!

People definitely need to butt the fuck out of other people's business. I remember reading an interview with Jo Brand where she said people would take pictures of her pushing a supermarket trolley with salad in it. Like it was newsworthy that she ever ate anything other than cream cakes.

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 I feel for you! My office is full of healthy weight 20-30 year olds. I'm in that age bracket too but only one of, is say, 5 people in the whole building who are obese.

I have to say I'm guilty of food stalking. I do watch what healthy weight people eat and sometimes wonder how much time they spend excising to be able to do it. I do all that silently though and never ever pass comment.

Example: We have a bake off for charity twice a year where there's unlimited cake, we have a maccy d's run every friday afternoon and a bacon butty run on thursday mornings. Cakes and doughnuts for all birthdays in an office of 200 people so every other day there's something available. There's loads of people who have all these things really really regularly. I neer have any of it but every time I say "no thank you" I get a "oh yeah you're dieting aren't you, sorry!" comment as if I'm abnormal for not wanting cake because I'm fat and that's of course what I must live on.

I just don't like that my weight marks me out as somehow morally and ethically corrupt.

HOW DARE THEY - I am so, so sorry you have had to go through this rude, demeaning behaviour. It reflects badly on them, not you, not just that they have such appalling manners, but that they clearly live their lives through the eyes and perceptions of others, and not on their own terms.

Losing 30lbs is a huge deal - you are doing so well. Don't let some idiots shame you, or make you feel like you have to justify ANY of your choices. Keep on keeping on, and live life as joyfully as you can, on your own terms .