Hi all,
First time poster but long time lurker. Bit of back story, DP & I have been together 5 years have gorgeous 18 month old twins. DP's parents live far away and so when we see them they stay with us for at least a few days. DP's mother has very old fashioned views and thinks i should be at home with children and not working. I work 4 day week with one day at home.
DPs parents came to visit last weekend, all lovely, we go out for a walk & to have a bit of lunch. DPs mother starts questioning if I'm happy at wok, so i reply yes, the balance is good. It works for our family. Twins are really happy in nursery and I love having our day together during the week. She basically said that Nursery were raising my children, I disagreed and stated that I think they are looking after my children while I work ensuring we as a family are happy. She said she didn't agree and it was her opinion and she was entitled to it. Then she says 'Did you even want the girls in the first place?' which I took to mean why would I have children if I wasn't going to stay at home with them. I then said I totally disagree, She accuses me of shouting at her. I told her if I was shouting she would know about it. She then repeats that she thinks the Nursery are raising my children, so I stop in my tracks and tell her that I don't want to continue this conversation and she needs to keep her opinions to herself.
So I left it at that & didn't mention it again. On the way home from lunch though I told DP I was unhappy...I told him it was unacceptable for her to speak to me like that. The more I thought about it over Saturday night I was fuming with her. DP was like she didn't mean to question if I really wanted the girls etc. it's just a throw away comment that she didn't mean. But I was just so floored by it. We had trouble conceiving and she knows this...
Anyway, they left and since then I can't get this comment out of my head, it makes my blood boil. DP has said he will have his Dad speak to her but my argument is that she is always saying things like this and I end up upset after every visit (we see them every 2-3 months). I have stated that I don't want to talk her again. I will not stop DP or DC seeing her but I don't want to be there.
DP thinks i'm being unreasonable and that I just need to ignore it and move on and in future he will ensure that she doesn't upset me but I feel like we have this conversation after every visit.
So...am I being unreasonable? Any advise??