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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

TO HATE FAFFERS??

45 replies

Fishface77 · 12/04/2017 08:45

I just want to get out of the house on time. Is it too much to ask?
Just stop piss farting around!
Stop reading the paper. Take it with you if you have to!
Stop watching mine craft.
Stop whining.
Why get the hoover out when we are about to leave?
Why clean shoes THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WEAR?
And breathe.
What do I do? How can I get everyone out of the house?

OP posts:

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 08:47

Yes! YANBU x million. My dh is a faffer and I dunno how I cope. Just getting dressed is an ordeal, he is 48 and I have no idea how he has gotten this far in life with so much faffing!

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 08:48

I have no advice, either you have to do it all yourself or get angry all the time for the incompetent.

SuperManStoleMyPants · 12/04/2017 08:49

Dh is an annoying faffer. When we have to be somewhere I tell him an earlier time so we can actually be on time. Even then sometimes we are late

BlackMirror · 12/04/2017 08:50

I started leaving without my faffer. Once on my birthday to the shard we had to be there a certain time and he was faffing so I left in the car and he had to get the train. I got an earful but he's better now.

happypoobum · 12/04/2017 08:51

I just say I am going out at x time and then I do it.

Tis the only way to stop the faffing.

Have had family members running down the drive after me as I drove off a couple of times before they realised I meant it, and so now it doesn't really happen any more

threesocksmeghan · 12/04/2017 08:53

I did a live stream of my DM's faffing on another thread yesterday. It took the edge off my suffering

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 08:53

I always lie about timings too. His mother jokes about how they have always been late for things, so he thinks it is ok. Just rude in my opinion. Screams of 'my time is more valuable than yours.'

Original poster

Fishface77 · 12/04/2017 08:56

I've just got a family of faffers!
Sometimes I think they want me to leave without them!

OP posts:

happypoobum · 12/04/2017 08:58

Fishface Do it!!

divafever99 · 12/04/2017 09:01

You have my sympathies op. My dh is a serial faffer. I can get 2 small dc and myself ready and he will still be faffing getting himself ready. It drives me insane. I too lie about times, otherwise we we would never get anywhere. I often just take the dc and sit in the car waiting, usually gets him moving!

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 09:01

Oh lord, I had considered my children may be faffers too... too young to tell yet. I feel your pain fishface :-(

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 09:01

hadn't considered even

JamesDelaneysHat · 12/04/2017 09:02

My sister is the most monumental faffer. Although me and dh call it fannying. Her ex-dh was also a fanny-er. It is absolutely blood boiling and she knows she's doing it but can't seem to regulate her pace at all, says it stresses her out. I don't see her that often otherwise I would either have to meditate or some shit while waiting for her to finish fannying about or just stride off and leave her to it. There is a hint of control and 'my time is more valuable than yours about it' as Gamma says.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 12/04/2017 09:28

I'm a faffer and annoy myself! A rubbish short term memory doesn't help, so I'll do something like go upstairs to get socks for the DCs, then wonder why I'm stood in front of my own sock drawer, then pick up something totally different while I'm there... 5 minutes later I'm attempting to get socks for the DCs again...

DS1 also seems to be a champion faffer in the making, and it's hard enough sorting myself without herding other faffers. (There is a serious possiblity that he's dyslexic, but he's a bit young for school to continue investigating) I have more hope for DS2 who's looking like he's got a better chance of growing out of his faffery.

I usually just about make it out in time, but find it quite pressured, and all contingency time is inevitably used. Too much allowance tends to be worse than starting off running late.

Crunchymum · 12/04/2017 09:39

Have a faffer of a DP too.

I can get myself and 2 kids ready and bags packed, pram / car loaded and he still isn't ready...

Drives me mad. Although if we have to be somewhere for a certain time then I tell him it's half an hour earlier.

He is up and out the door for 7.30am 5/6 days per week but on non work days he is on a complete go slow.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 12/04/2017 09:48

My ds1 is a faffer.
He's six and there's always something he has to tell me. Never mind that we have to be up and out the house, no. He wants to witter on about something instead of getting dressed and instead of eating.
He tends to repeat the same first part of a sentence over and over too.
He did make a bit of an improvement once. I was dropping him off with my Dad for the day and I told him that we would leave at a set time and if he was still prancing around in just his pants then I'd take him in just his pants.
When I started putting things in the car he realised I was serious and he got dressed faster than I've ever seen!

HolditFinger · 12/04/2017 10:03

I resort to the half an hour earlier lie too. Why oh why, when he's had all morning does DH decide that 5 mins before we have to leave is the perfect time to hoover the car or mow the lawn?

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 · 12/04/2017 10:09

Yes x10000... my dad is a faffer and it drives my mum and I nuts. Now I have managed to marry one too! Worse actually cos mine is a sleepy faffer so generally doesnt have the time to spare anyway lol. Worst my dad does is patter around while mum is making food, then wait just til she puts it on the table and sits down to remember there is something he wanted to do. And we're all sat there with our food going cold and my mum isnt sure whether to cry or just ignore him and start eating lol.

Penfold007 · 12/04/2017 10:32

I think faffing and deliberate incompetence are similar behaviours. My DH was and sometimes is an epic faffer, however, he is now well aware that I will won't rescue him, do it for him or wait for him.

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 10:35

Do you think 'is a faffer' is enough to get a divorce? Or would a judge say 'just part of a normal marriage'? :-p I am joking... well... half joking!

PumpkinPie2016 · 12/04/2017 10:40

I am married to a faffer too! Drives me totally mad and I feel myself getting more and more irritated as I watch/listen to it!

I also lie about timings as otherwise we are late for everything!

No idea how to solve the problem though!

Italwaysworksitselfout · 12/04/2017 10:48

Dh comes from a long line of faffers and dd has inherited the gene. I am the total opposite and very anal about time keeping so it causes problems. I'm sure they do it on purpose Sil and myself have bets on how long it takes anyone, including ourselves, to leave pil's house because of the faffing around they do.....excruciatingly painful

gammaraystar · 12/04/2017 11:38

I'm sure they do it on purpose

Yes, yes, yes! You could be me!

pipsqueak25 · 12/04/2017 12:15

faffing make me feel homicidal at times, if we need to be somewhere for an appointment [if its for me] i go ahead and say will see you there /when i get back. if it is for someone else - they have to take the flak if they are late. if we are due to go out in general and i'm ready and nobody else is [and they've had ages but messing about] ieither leave without them or go and put the kettle on. cue 'you haven't got time for a drink' me 'oh, i thought we weren't going as everyone is messing about', that usually shifts 'em . and 'they' are ALL adults - @~£*& !!!!

Tinkerbec · 12/04/2017 12:49

Yes!!!

My Dm takes minutes to get out of the car just faffing on. It should take a few seconds.
It is just ridiculous!

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