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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO HATE FAFFERS??

45 replies

Fishface77 · 12/04/2017 08:45

I just want to get out of the house on time. Is it too much to ask?
Just stop piss farting around!
Stop reading the paper. Take it with you if you have to!
Stop watching mine craft.
Stop whining.
Why get the hoover out when we are about to leave?
Why clean shoes THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WEAR?
And breathe.
What do I do? How can I get everyone out of the house?

OP posts:
TheLuminaries · 12/04/2017 12:57

'Christ on a bendy bus, don't be such a fucking faff arse' is my favourite Malcolm Tucker quote.

Faffers and fanny-about-ers give me the rage. My sister is queen PA faffer - loves to keep people waiting. DH and I are of one mind. Get ready. leave house, no faffing. I could not stay married to a faffer, my blood pressure could not cope.

Original poster
Fishface77 · 12/04/2017 14:02

FAFFERS and fanniers.
I should write a bastard documentary on them.
I would like to head butt every fannying faffer in the world. Man, woman and child.

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 12/04/2017 14:06

My DS is an absolute faffer. I have no idea why it takes him so long to get ready when he is going somewhere and it infuriates me when we are going somewhere 'for him' and we are standing around waiting for him to get ready.

DH on the other hand is the exact opposite. He does the absolute bear minimum required to get HIMSELF ready to go out and then stands by the front door waiting whilst I run around doing all the necessary things that have to be done before we can set off.

I am of course perfect in every way and can get myself out of the house on time whilst also achieving whatever is needed before leaving [grin[ but being stuck between the 2 of them is a nightmare!

Daringdaschund · 12/04/2017 14:08

Oh dear - I'm the faffer in my family - and I apologise on behalf of all faffers worldwide ... Blush Grin

It's getting worse as I get older too. I find myself saying more and more "well I had better do that before we go out, or we had better bring that with us, "just in case". And I rummage in my handbag more.

To be fair, part of the reason why I faff when going out with dh (who is the opposite of a faffer) is that, because of the unpredictable nature of his job, I never know when he is going to appear; he could be two hours early or two hours late, so for that reason I don't always get ready to be exactly on time ifyswim.

Mea culpa though.

Daringdaschund · 12/04/2017 14:09

Please don't head butt me [shivers]

Daringdaschund · 12/04/2017 14:11

That's a good point actually bigbluebus my dh would happily leave the house with back door unlocked, windows open, tap dripping, stuff in a mess, without change for parking etc etc ... .

Ethylred · 12/04/2017 14:11

I realize that on this thread the people writing "hate" and "rage" are joking but even so these words are disturbing, because they appear so often on this forum.

EllaHen · 12/04/2017 14:15

My Mum is a gaffer. My Dad has to physically direct her out of my house, laden with all her stuff.

My DD has her genes for sure. Sometimes I feel like crying. It can ruin the start of an excursion until I calm down. Life is too short to wait for others.

Thankfully, dh, ds and me are all perennially on time or early.

EllaHen · 12/04/2017 14:15

A gaffer? Eh .... I thought I wrote faffer..

LadyFlumpalot · 12/04/2017 14:19

My SIL is a faffer. I don't actually know what it is that she does whilst faffing but she once arrived at 4pm for a 1pm Sunday dinner. 😡

Shoxfordian · 12/04/2017 21:22

Can I add that these people are just as bad faffing about in the world?

As you're leaving the tube; there they are- holding up the queue looking for their oyster card

In the shops; loading up the conveyer belt then deciding they've forgotten something and disappearing

Then when they finally are ready to pay; they're hunting around for their wallet

Faffing is everywhere Angry

blamethecat · 12/04/2017 21:28

I have an annoying combination of faffer/rush everyone . Dp faffs about so much that I can get myself and ds ready, sort washing, dish washer, get lunches and often prepare dinner in the time it takes him to get showered and dressed but the second he gets downstairs he wants us ready to go that second.

ForalltheSaints · 12/04/2017 21:39

I think there need to be consequences for people who are persistently late. I think sadly it is the only way to change their behaviour.

Cherrysoup · 12/04/2017 21:44

A friend used to find things to do before leaving the house. She was invariably at least an hour late. I was ten minutes early. We learnt to lie to her about the meet time. I found her incredibly rude.

A colleague is an inveterate faffer. She thanked my dh about 20 times for giving her a lift somewhere one time, took her ages to get out of the car. I just can't bear it. She'd come into my room, basically wanted me as a sounding board so would ask my opinion. I'd give it, knowing what she would eventually do anyway. She'd talk and talk and talk while I listened sympathetically and eventually come to the same conclusion as I had fifteen minutes ago. Drove me nuts, but because I loved her, I'd just let her wander round the idea to come back to what had been said quarter of an hour ago. Bonkers and such a waste of time.

Original poster
Fishface77 · 13/04/2017 00:03

Well we're out for the day tomorrow. Supposed to be going at 1030 so I've lied and told everyone 0930.
They will be ready for 945 so that gives me minutes to play with. Knobs.

OP posts:
Swirlingasong · 13/04/2017 00:24

Dh comes from a family of faffers. In the best part of two decades I have never worked out what they actually do before leaving the house that takes so long. The other infuriating thing when they stay with us is that they seem incapable of taking responsibility for getting themselves ready. So, if I say over lunch that we need to leave at 2.30, say, they will just go an sit and chat after lunch until I point out the time and say we really need to be getting ready now. Surely most adults should be able to keep an eye on the time and just get ready without having to be told??

Hidingtonothing · 13/04/2017 00:59

I am not a faffer but if you asked DH if I am he would say yes. This is because he only ever has to get himself ready and do any jobs I hastily throw at him because I'm running out of time. It's not so much that he doesn't do stuff it's more that he doesn't think about what might need doing. It doesn't seem to occur to him that the dogs will need taking for a wee before we leave, that we might need to round up stuff to take with us, that DD's shoes will need locating and the back door will need locking so I always look faffy and disorganised simply because I'm juggling a 20 point checklist in my head of things that need doing before we leave Angry

AGnu · 13/04/2017 01:48

I've got really bad pregnancy nausea atm & today DH said he was going to leave work at 5 so he could get home & cook dinner. Great, really helpful... except he didn't stop working until 5.15, had a chat with his boss on the way out & didn't get home until 6.30 - a full 45 minutes later than I was expecting. When he got home he put the oven on & went to the toilet for half an hour. It must've been about 8 by the time we actually all sat down for our food. This is already an hour passed the DC's ideal bedtime. Then there was lots of chatting at the table, getting extra food, washing the dishes while the DC were waiting to be read a story... It took me going up & basically just shouting at everyone to get the DC in bed before 10.

This isn't a one off. At weekends he'll decide to take the DC for a walk but just wants to get x, y, z done first & finds half a dozen other things to do too before they eventually get out at 4, spend about 2.5 hours out of the house & then still need to cook dinner once home. I so can't wait until I'm passed the 1st trimester & hopefully get some energy/the ability to be around food without gagging! I'm completely fed up of feeling like I have to just sit around & either not say anything because he's having to do so much atm, or nag constantly which really isn't helping with his anxiety issues! Maybe one day he'll learn some sort of time-management skills!

LadyFlumpalot · 13/04/2017 10:33

To be fair, DH's entire family are faffers. Once, we popped into the local Tesco Metro for snack picnic food to take with us on a walk. DH, myself and two DCs selected food, paid, took DC for a wee and got back to our car. 90 minutes later his family wander out of the shop having decided to carefully check and double check each aisle for something they just might need.

This of course meant we were 2 hours later eating our picnic than I expected which meant that no one was particularly hungry for the beautiful slow-cooked roast chicken I'd slaved over. 😡

Original poster
Fishface77 · 13/04/2017 20:30

So we left the house at 10am. Remember they thought we were meeting at 0930.
We got where we had to get on time.
But just SAY BYE AND GET INTHE FUCKING CAR.
I thought Cilla Black was in the car with all the bastard turrah turrah turrah's.
Then something they must discuss before we leave. Nothing urgent that was life threatening cue another round of turrahs.
It took us 47 minutes to say our byes and leave.

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