To feel let down by One Born Every Minute?

[JonSnowsWhore]

This is mine & my partners first baby together, but I've already had 2 kids so I KNOW I don't cope well in labour, I'm a midwife's nightmare 😂

Been making him watch One Born Every Minute to prepare scare him but so far they've all been really well behaved! I need some screamers/swearers/non copers like me to be shown tonight

Degus I've had 3, well 2 successful and one attempted, it's just the fact that they couldn't get the last one in the right place, so I'm terrified that they won't be able to get the epidural in the right place & they'll give up. Then what? Then what do I do 😱😱😱

The thought terrifies me. I agree with you the actual feeling of having an LP vs an epidural is very different, I don't remember feeling anything with my last epidural. Maybe I was just so bloody happy to be put out of my misery though!

I dislike when people say 'it doesn't hurt, it's like a period pain' that's great if that's your experience but comments like that can be detrimental to those who have had traumatic labours/births or just found it tough (as most non complicated deliveries are too)
I'm not someone who is offended by it but when my aunt had her first baby, comments like that crushed her and made her feel like she was a failure.

I'll be honest, I didn't make much of a scream on my 3rd delivery even though she was 10lb 03oz ... but I guess everything had gone saggy by then! I remember the midwife telling me to lay on my back but I ignored her and went on all fours knowing she was big and she slipped out in no time! I didn't even know I had tore either. It was embarrassing though for me when they clamped my legs up to stitch me and I tried to warn them I had wind which then caused a blood splatter on the guys glasses stitching me!

cherish maybe for you it was like period pain, for me it was screaming uncontrollably in agony.

I did have an episiotomy and a third degree tear, which unlike all the bad stories you hear healed up absolutely fine and with next to no pain. Doesn't mean I go round dismissing those who have had a different experience.

cherish123 Tue 11-Apr-17 23:55:30
Would definitely not want epidural. Makes cutting more likely- which sounds horrific. It is honestly not that sore. It is more like period pain.

How could I have missed this nugget of wisdom?? Bollix to cutting more likely and double bollix to not sore, aka period pain.

What you should have said, naturally, was IYO. :)

Baby 2- cord prolapse. I was no where near fully dilated with two midwives elbow deep inside me holding the cord away from my baby's head. Rushed into theatre for c section under general. It was absolutely not like period pain...,

nickie it does make cutting more likely -Google "cascade of intervention". This is the reason many people try to avoid heavy duty pain relief in labour, not some hippy ideals about natural childbirth,

Screaming uncontrollable agony here too.

Really pissed me off midwife kept going on about her ladies that laboured 'beautifully' before me, in other words, didn't scream.

She didn't have children. She doesn't get an opinion on my pain!!!

Only reason I did all 3 on just gas and air is not because I am a nutter who wants to be a martyr, just petrified of intervention.

And anyone on baby number 3 and beyond, the after pains get much much worse.

Hope it all goes well OP x

I preferred my episiotomy to my 3rd degree tear but that's just me

Ohh but a bonus of having surgery for retained placenta is that you don't bleed and don't notice after pains because you everything has already been drained out of you and you are so drugged up you don't notice'

I was really surprised to find out that most women tear and need stitches after giving birth. They never show that on tv! But that wouldn't make for exciting watching, would it?

i wasn't allowed an epidural as I have back pain problems. I swear if i had a gun i would shot myself dead; i was in that much pain. I was reused morphine as according to the midwife I'd barely started labour. She went out and no sooner had the fire door shut I screamed for her to come back. She went into full blown panic as the baby was ready to come out. She was very rough with me and as a result it meant my back went and I couldn't stand at all for four days. B@@@@. So much for husband making four flasks if coffee and five rounds of sandwiches for himself as he said I'd take ages! Birth took five hours. Next birth was 13 and a half hours. So much easier as my body had time to adjust and I was treated gently.
First birth so bad it triggered PTSD; I'd been raped a few years before in a hospital and the lighting, sounds and the fact that it was nighttime all contributed.
I was always told birth was amazing and had images of holding a sweet baby at the end. It couldn't have been further from the truth.
I'm not telling DD1 though!

Had to go to theatre with dc1, as they were unhooking me I grabbed on to the gas and air mouthpiece and wouldn't let go, they let me take it with me... Got to theatre and spewed everywhere, was so off my head I didn't care.
I remember feeling very mislead by OBEM, didn't bother watching before I had dc2!

@wingobins nooooooo! Oh god I'd die of embarrassment hahaha!

I watched it a few times and didn't remember the part where the doctor declared I had a beautiful back for an epidural and did i mind if he got his students in to have a look

@Totallybonkersmum sorry that happened to you it all sounds horrific!

I've never been cut, I tend to tear upwards instead of backwards if ya know what I mean.

I used to get really painful periods in my teens, crying & being sick, so to me the after pains are closer to period pains that the actual labour! Labour is more like your insides are being crushed by an elephant, and then someone is holding a red hot iron to your downstairs & refusing to take it off until the baby is all the way out... so yeah, that kind of torturous, begging for death pain for me!

Genuinely curious though, I wish I could feel feel some people feel who say it's not that bad, to compare!

I find that Call The Midwife is a more accurate portrayal of birth than OBEM, and that's set 50 years ago!

I will never watch that programme again after having given birth to DD. How do these people have easy births?? I'm with the op. I was refused everything except paracetamol and was in absolute agony. Pregnant with second and terrified of giving birth again!

Never actually seen call the midwife you know!

Why the hell were you refused everything?? See this is what terrifies me about it this time, not knowing what's going to happen! & if I get any horrible midwives who want to moan about my screaming they can fuck off to the far end of fuck aswell, that's the last thing you need. I've warned my partner about things to say/not to say just to keep me happy might have to do that to the midwives when I first go in aswell

Call the Midwife is very good and I read the books actually before the series came out.

I have always got what I want in labour. Except for the last baby when I had an epidural and needed it with the other 4 I was happy with just gas and air - it wasn't not painful but they were enough to manage. I didn't want more. However the fact it was my choice of course makes it better. The worst thing for me has been very long labours - 20 hours first time even with a drip to speed it up. Even the last one was at least 10 I think and a bit complex - baby 1 came at home and his twin would not be moved so we had a nice little jaunt to a hospital all calm and okay and I had a drip to get contractions going again and epidural and baby 2 born in hospital and we were all home the same day. It sounds awful twins born in different London boroughs but it wasn't. I felt in charge and in control at every stage and I had the epidural for the second twin because having had a 67 hours first labour already I was tired.

No one said you might need two totally separate labours in the same day for twins (born at 40 weeks by the way on the dot - my only babies born on time, 6 pounds 8 and 7 pounds 8, quite good weights for twins too). I had thought one twin was born and then the other just popped out minutes later!

I cant watch this series at all. Its just so far from reality it's unreal and I gave birth in the same hospital.

After 4 days of labour and begging to see a doctor (along with screams of cut it out of me now, I need a c section, And i'm going to start pushing right now if you dont help me) in all that time I was only ever offered co codamol. I later found out the midwives are checked on how many times they need consultant's to come and check so would rather not call for them at all. I wont go into detail as there are a lot of pregnant women on this board, but don't assume your midwife will be sitting in the room with you discussing how your first met and how they met their partners

I dont know why they've changed the format to make it all softer this time around, go back to the screaming I say!

I refused to watch it whilst pregnant and ttc. Might watch it now after a 2. Year ban.

I haven't watched the last couple of series but I remember the early ones and I remember thinking the opposite to most people in here, it used to annoy me all the women were strapped into beds lying in their backs with monitors attached to them!

Maybe it's changed! I don't watch it anymore!

Have you watched every series or just this one? I've always thought OBEM to be quite a balanced view of labour and delivery.

By the law of averages, I would imagine well over half of all deliveries are quite boring and undramatic. It's good that OBEM shows these, as well as the hippy ones, emergency ones, bloody ones, and downright scary ones. A few years ago, they showed a shoulder dystocia, and it was the most horrifying thing I have ever seen.

In real life, people don't talk much about their boring births. There's not much mileage in "yeah I was in labour for two hours, no drugs, popped it out, went home".

You should watch the US version of OBEM; they are screeching for an epidural at 3 months pregnant!

I remember pushing asking if they could see the baby. The midwife informed me I'd only been pushing for 10 mins and usually its an hour! I said "it isn't like this on the tele!" Didn't shout or scream though as I was too paranoid about making a show of myself! During the labour I was in so much pain I wanted pain relief but couldn't talk to ask for it!