To feel let down by One Born Every Minute?

[JonSnowsWhore]

This is mine & my partners first baby together, but I've already had 2 kids so I KNOW I don't cope well in labour, I'm a midwife's nightmare 😂

Been making him watch One Born Every Minute to prepare scare him but so far they've all been really well behaved! I need some screamers/swearers/non copers like me to be shown tonight

At my ante natal classes they warned again and again the OBEM is a midwife's nightmare as birth isn't really that well portrayed through the editing process.

I don't think they show enough sections. A third of the births should be sections to keep it even with the national average but alas they dont

I have chronic pain especially back pain and at first they wanted to give me a c section. This I refused as it could eff me up more. In the end, exhausted after a failed home birth with independent midwives, I was ambulanced to hospital and the consultant had her hands up my chuff turning the baby before forceps with me screaming I now wanted a c section. Nope wouldn't be on the show, would it?

I gave birth to DD yesterday. Managed on gas and air with just a bit of shouting and swearing and saying bizarre things- I apparently announced I would carry out a vasectomy on DH with the bacon scissors if he does not get himself to the Drs about it.

And was sure I had pooed and kept asking DH to have a look. He told me to 'stop going on about poo love. There's no poo to be seen. Just push. ' DD arrived very quickly after I got to the hospital- just about an hour but I had been at home for 7 hours before. The gardener had turned up so we waited while he pruned the back hedge because DH didn't want to put him off. By the time we left I was feeling pretty close to pushing,
Came home last night. DS (2) at SIL's asleep. DH got him first thing and brought him along home. He looked at DD, stroked her head and kissed her - with a bit of encouragement- then lost interest and said 'Where da box?' He likes a big cardboard box and we think he thought she must have come in one. He was quite disappointed and then said 'POrridge, please' so that was that. Has had a couple of peeks at her since and puts his hands over his ears when she crys.

What makes you think they only film the consultant led now? The first OBEM at Liverpool Women's definitely filmed on the midwife led too because I was there

I gave birth on the consultant led delivery suite at Liverpool and I certainly screamed, and heard others too! I'm glad I was there after obem had been filmed though.

I am watching now. What always surprised me in previous series is how quickly the ladies begin their inductions.
Waited 24 hours for them to begin mine with DC1 (and I wasn't aloud to go home and come back) and 12 hours for DC2!
no one howls like how I did either

I also had thick meconium spilling out of me with both, don't think I've seen a pooey newborn on OBEM.

I think this is a heavily edited programme, and I know my midwifery colleagues hate it! I have never known Midwives to get a chance to sit down, let alone eat so much toast and drink large volumes of tea!!

It's not always extremely painful, though. I was induced with DS1 who was buggered if he was going anywhere (still the same as a teen!) My already sky high blood pressure rocketed but I can't take beta blockers, so they insisted on an epidural. I wasn't even feeling any contractions, at this point, even though they were apparently happening.

DS2 was a different kettle of fish. Woke up to random, slightly crampy but not painful contractions, had a poo, had a bath, ate some muesli, had another poo, walked around a bit, sat on the sofa with a cuppa and it all stopped. 15 minutes later, had a longer more uncomfortable cramp, so got on my hands and knees, which really helped. DS1 climbed on my back. DH phoned the hospital to tell them I appeared to be in labour and I had a chat with the MW there, while this was all happening. Hung up and decided I needed another go at that poo. Went, sat pushed and my waters exploded and out fell DS2!

I laboured on a noisy ward and my post natal ward was full and hot and busy. No private room for me, with nice midwifes checking to see "how you getting on, love?" just lots of "you rang the buzzer?" "Yes, I want to push" "oh, well you can't need to yet, we're full in the delivery suit, so maybe have some pethedine and sleep it off?"

Ok then, shall I give birth here with the curtains open and next doors grandad going on about his hip replacement and whole hospital looking up my foof? When does my OBEM moment happen?

Went, sat pushed and my waters exploded and out fell DS2!
That's quite a story PickAChew. Please don't stop there? Did you have to retrieve him from the loo, or did you have time to land him elsewhere?

Also smiling in a mildly horrified way at the idea of littlecaf's "sleeping off" a baby that's about to pop out. That'd have got some choice language from me!

Lulu & pick it amazes me how some people manage it & say it's not all that bad! I know I have to believe you because it happened to you but because mine was so bad I just can see how there can be so much difference lol, my head just won't compute that. Even with the second when I had the epidural I still started on the gas & air very early when contractions started.

There are definitely screamers at the hospital because you could hear them in the background, I wanted the cameras to go in & see those women

Shame my labour wasn't filmed, I could have put your partner off as frankly I was embarrassing!!

"If I was a dog you'd put me fucking down"

"Pethidine doesn't do anything! I want diamorphine now!"

"Does anyone else want to finger me while you're all having a good watch?"

And I must have rang the buzzer a million times.

My husband was great even when I was going crazy

It's fascinating how we experience the same thing so differently. I found my labours painful but totally manageable. The after pains when breastfeeding were worse, I was writhing around on the bed begging for gas and air!

Oh lord I was one of 'those' mothers

You should have filmed me

I went in with all these expectations of how I'd have no pain relief, would now and again let out some ladylike groans here and there and poof baby would arrive pink and clean with his first teeth and speaking a second language! ha!

Reality? rapid labour where I wasn't able to have any pain relief - language my mother who was my birth partner nearly fainted from and the abuse the poor registrar who delivered son got, I still cringe to this day

I remember walking to the canteen the day after giving birth and I passed him - he said 'oooh 'nickie - insert real name' you look quite sane' criiiiiinge!

I always thought my second labour would be easier (1st wasn't horrific but wasn't good either - back to back and forceps).

Second was worse and I couldn't have pain relief for the first 56 hours (other than two shots of pethidine that lasted 3hours). I was a nightmare to be around x

Lexie & nickie my kind of people! Ok I might have hit the midwife in my first labour. I'm not proud of myself, it's not something I'd do when 'sane' as you put it!

I think she was trying to give me a shot of pethadine (far too late for it to have any effect for the worst part by the way) but despite everything else going on I decided the needle hurt way too much & started smacking her away on the arm

I'm going to get told off on here for that aren't I? At he end they did comment on the amount of gas & air I'd got through so I blame that!

"Does anyone else want to finger me while you're all having a good watch?"

Also, they rarely show anyone being sick do they? Whereas I, and every mother I know, was.

Can't watch it. My births were traumatic and in the early days it would make me feel like crap seeing all those perfect deliveries.

LuluJakey1

Congratulations on the birth of your DD. Hope your lovely family are doing well

cat he did land in the loo! And trashed the bathroom on his way out, which, much like his brother, is still his typical MO :o

Removing the placenta is an entirely different story, involving spinal, puke and a blood transfusion (no different from DS1 birth, there!)!

Not sure if thread has moved on, but I've had 2 lumbar punctures (huge, massssssive ouchy needle) and with my ELCS with DTDs had a lovely thin teeny spinal.... the 2 do not compare in any way...

Would definitely not want epidural. Makes cutting more likely- which sounds horrific. It is honestly not that sore. It is more like period pain.

Personally I don't like epidurals because they make me shake uncontrollably and I find it scary not being able to feel my legs.

I always puke in labour, usually just after dh has told me not to have too much gas and air because it makes me puke.

Never had gas & air. Still puked, both times.