To ask for genuine, real birth stories!?

[FunkyChunkyCherub]

First baby due in 3 months - I'm not scared of labour at all (maybe I should be ) but I feel like everyone I know has painted an unrealistic picture for me! I've either had a vague 'it was hell but worth it for my little bundle of joy' or 'I quite liked the experience, it was empowering and real I love what a woman's body can do' etc. All very lovely but I want details!

How long did it last? How painful? What drugs (if any)? Did you shit yourself?! I need some answers!!

Only 1 baby fairly recently:
Latent labour pains for 4 nights which were irregular and petered out after 4/5 hours. They felt like strong period pains but more in the bottom.
Had a sweep and the pains became stronger and more frequent. I was 5cm dilated by the time I got to hospital. I opted for a water birth which was lovely and soothing. At this point the adrenaline was pumping and I felt empowered and calm. I did poo a few times in the pool I'll admit.
After 6 hours of pushing, baby got stuck at 8cm and she was back to back. Suddenly became very painful and scary. Was told to keep pushing for another couple of hours. I had pethidine (which didn't really work) and epidural (which absolutely did). The baby was still stuck and starting to get distressed. The consultant suggested either giving me something which made the contractions more productive or EMCS.
We opted for the EMCS and 30 minutes later she arrived. The EMCS was easy even if the recovery was a bit longer.
On a whole, a positive experience but I wished I was able to deliver in the pool. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Good luck x

Number 1 - 24 hours active labour, back to back baby & contractions didn't regulate so put on drip, 45 minutes pushing with small tear. Gas and air only.
Not the best, not the worst. Pain was bad but not 'kill me now'.

Number 2 - 4 hours active labour, text book really. Contractions regular, pushing for 12 minutes, no tears and gas and air only. Felt fab within about an hour.

Number 3 - 3.5 hour active labour, not sure on pushing but wasn't long. Water birth with gas and air, no tears. Felt like I'd been hit by a bus for at least a week, still have issues with pelvis now although none in pregnancy.

If I could give one piece of advice (for what it's worth) Don't fear it, work with it.

30 hour labour ended with an emcs. It was quite painful, but I was so high on gas and air I dont remember a lot. Few things I remember is that I did shit myself and also my waters started gushing uncontrollably over my midwife when they were prepping me for the c section.
Pain was quite horrible, but not bad enough to put me off planning another baby.

1, 25hour labour, pethadine and gas and air, cord wrapped around neck but he was fine
2, back waters broke at 37 weeks was induced, dr thought she was breech because they could feel toes, after two other Drs having a feel and saying she was breech the 4th one decided to actually do a scan and she was head down and it was her hand and fingers they were feeling, 11 hours of Labour and several attempts to shove her arm back up she got distressed they decide on a c section. Cord wrapped around neck and arm, sugar levels low was in special care over night but all ok eventually, oh forgot I lost lots of blood ended up having transfusion
3, by far the quickest and easiest did have pethadine but she shot out before it took effect
4, 16 hours of labour, too tired to push at the vital point so ended up with assistance, then his shoulder was stuck so had several people pinning me down at shoulders and hips and dr pulling frantically, me screaming place down, dh white as a sheet and crying, eventually 9lb 6 boy delivered, needed help to breathe but after that he was fine

1. Induced (with drip) for high BP & waters breaking with no labour, at 38 weeks, induction started Thursday morning, baby back to back, epidural after gas & air for hours, baby born early hours of Friday morning, after 40 minutes of pushing, mostly positive.

1. Induced (just broke waters) at 37 weeks, 2 hr labour, just gas & air, 10 minutes pushing.

1. Induced at 39 weeks as waters broke with meconium at 5am, labour didn't start so drop at 0900, baby born at 12.25 with gas & air & 30 minutes pushing.

1. really struggled with the contractions and got stuck in a birth centre triage room as no beds ANYWHERE. Only G&A, pushed for hours. No stitches but swore I'd never do it again. But I did. Two more times.

2. lovely relaxing home birth, got the urge to push before I'd dialated enough which was quite difficult. Just used G&A. Baby head at a funny angle so wouldn't descent but eventually made her way out... no stitches again.

3. planned another home water birth but my contractions went from 1-10 in like 20 minutes and I had to start pushing the second the midwife arrived, baby was born about 15 minutes later. No G&A or water or stitches

I can't explain it. I had the same attitude as you- wasn't scared of it and just saw it as a process.

The second and third were easier than the first as I knew what to expect. The problem with the third was that was came so fast that I couldn't mentally prepare myself for the pain to increase.

The contractions are like a deep within pain, not like a tummy ache. Pushing didn't hurt because it felt like I was doing what I needed to do.

Crowning is extremely painful, you feel like you are being ripped open but the likelihood is that you are not. When my third was coming out I put my hand on my labia and pressed as it felt like it would stop it ripping.

It's a weird one, every labour is different and sometimes people can handle it better or worse than they anticipate. I would say to research research research. Learn about the stages of labour and the signs and symptoms of them and what is happening to your body during those stages.

One piece of advice I would give is if you think any of the following to yourself during labour- 'I can't do this anymore' 'I need to go to hospital now' (during a home birth) 'I'm giving up and going home now' or start begging the midwife to knock you out and pull the baby out, then you're probably in transition and the baby will be here soon

1. I was nearly two weeks late, was induced, had 3 lots of gel and went from 0-gas and air in 10 mins after the last lot. Ended up with epidural as pain was horrendous, baby was back to back and not pushing on cervix properly and in the end I had a C/S after being in labour all night. The midwife said in 'the olden days' we would've both died. Baby is now 5ft7 at nearly 15 and she was def worth all of it. It's not the birth experience that counts, it's getting the healthy baby at the end. Of course I would've loved to have a more natural delivery, but it wasn't to be.
2. I had a planned c/s because of my first experience and he was transverse lie so didn't have much choice. He was breech born in the end. Much easier recovery with planned c/S!

Contractions started around midnight, 2 mins apart by 6am so went to MLU and was examined but only 3cm so came back home. Threw up from the pain once home. Got in the bath, contractions really ramped up. Waters broke about 9.30 so headed back to the MLU, examined about 10 and was fully dilated. Got in the birthing pool about 10.30, got on the g&a and pushed for about an hour but nothing. Got out of pool, leant over the bed and pushed for half an hour but nothing. Got on the bed, another half hour of pushing and an episiotomy late and dd arrived. Pushing was exhausting but not painful. Contractions were intense and very painful but manageable. Being stitched up afterwards was pure torture. And yes, I did poo.

First labour
Had decided that I would have diamorphine as I knew from experience I was completely out of it.
Arriving in the Labour ward, was given some gas and air. Struggled with the pain and was offered diamorphine. I was laerady too much out of it to take a rational decision so I said Yes. Big mistake.
I promptly fell asleep, woke up to contractions that were much much stronger and no time to get used to them. I was also told actually I wasn't supposed to be in the Labour ward (after spending already about 6 hours there) and was send back to the ante natal ward .
Still in pain but in the top of it very worried/self conscious about the other women there and somehow not wanting to scare them.
Back to the Labour ward where I demanded an epidural.
Still under the influence if the diamorphine, I fell back asleep more or less until the delivery.
Ended up with a forceps delivery (cord around the neck) plus I struggled to know when to push which made it even more difficult.
My conclusion was no diamorphine for me. I was completely out of it, have very few memories of the birth or what was happening (e.g. I learnt about the cord around the neck only during a review I did with the consultant when I was pregnant with my second)

Second pregnancy
I used some hypnotherapy tape betfore end.
Labour lasted about 2.5hours. We just had time to wait for MIL to come over and look after ds, go to hops and in the pool.
Only gas and air this time.
My main memory is me screaming from the mouth piece of the gas and air and finding very therapeutic (I suspect it was actually close romaome breathing exercise they recommend).
The only butbthat dis hurt after the birth was ... my throat.
Apart from that, I was up in no time, dressed before the MW had even time to come back.
It felt like I could do it agang with few issues (bar the feeling 'oh yay, that's how it feels when I had my first contractions again followed by 'I knew there was a reason I said I wouldn't do it again' )

Sorry it should have been
I knew I would NOT have diamorphine....

1. 6 hours established labour (4cm-birth), 15.5hrs from proper contractions to birth, 17.5hrs from first periody twinges to birth

1. I actually found the pain pretty manageable, even though baby was back to back! The worst part for me was at 8cm I had urge to push but obviously wasn't ready. So I was fighting the urge to push and trying so hard not to push with v v strong 'expulsive' contractions for 3 hours til I was fully dilated. That bit was pretty f-ing horrendous but I had great midwives that kept me sane!

1. I did yoga breathing (seriously helped - shorter in breath longer out breath, don't knock it), used pool from about 6cm really helped too with being able to float, then gas and air from about 7cm til birth.

1. Yes I did shit myself! But tbh was least of my worries. You can't help it when you are pushing and they quickly scooped it out of the pool.

Honestly? I thought birth and labour were fine and manageable. Yes it was f-ing painful, it takes over your whole body it's not just pain in one place, so much that the pain made me vomit. But it really wasn't as bad as I thought and according to midwives I had an awful labour! I sustained a very bad second degree tear. Corkscrew internal cervical tear, perineum tear and labial tear. I lost a lot of blood and became anaemic so felt v unwell after birth; it took a long time to stitch me up (over an hour) hence the blood loss and I had to have an injection for anti sickness because I felt like I was dying (from sickness/faintness not from pain). I was in hospital for 5 nights due to the anaemia/blood loss, feeling like crap. I had to have my stitched removed at 10 days postpartum as they hadn't healed well and were causing me pain such that I couldn't stand up or hold baby for long. I then needed a remedial operation at 3 months postpartum due to overgrowth of scar tissue. I had a rectocele (anal prolapse) and needed 6 months of pelvic floor physio.

BUT; that is the truth. Nothing missed out. And I did feel empowered and amazed at what my body had achieved and very proud that I coped with the pain and did it! I remember the feel of my baby coming out of me and thinking wow this is amazing, and I wouldn't have felt that if I had had an epidural for instance. I felt strong! And for me the labour and birth were fine, it was the recovery that was much more challenging, emotionally as well as physically.

Despite that we are ttc number two and against advice I will be having another vaginal birth, and hopefully another water birth. It is an experience I would repeat despite the trauma and lengthy recovery period. (And I am fine now!! Not the same as before but I don't think anyone is after labour anyway!)

Good luck op, you will be just fine :) We are much stronger than we think and can cope with a hell of a lot that is thrown at us.

Only pooed myself once out of 3 labours (the last one).

First one - 9lb baby, OP presentation agonising back Labour, ended up being in theatre for keilands forceps with spinal anaesthetic. Episiotomy done by consultant, was traumatic but I healed fine.

DS2 pprom at 32 weeks, went into labour at 34 weeks. 3 hours from beginning to end and was totally manageable, no bother at all. Only one small graze, he was 6lb.

Dd I had pre-eclampsia so was induced at 38 weeks. She was 8lb 12. Very quick Labour, drip went up and i had first contraction about an hour later, and she was born half an hour after that. Few stitches, nothing too bad. I had quite a big bleed but just had Iv fluids, didn't need a transfusion.

I always wanted a lovely water birth with low lighting and music etc, not to be I guess. The only advice I can give is to go with the flow.

1st labour lasted 5 hours. Gas and air and diamorphine. Midwife and DH were hands on and had a leg each and helping me push. No problems with birth, no tearing, no stitches.
Negative was that I lost quite a bit of blood and dd had a low temperature so she was taken to another room and put under a heat lamp and I wasn't now allowed out of bed for about 5 hours.

2nd labour lasted 3 1/2 hours. Gas and air and diamorphine. Lots of people in the room and no hands on. DH was a bit disappointed.
No problems with birth except I pushed so hard that Ds came flying out and the midwife had to catch him. The other (student) observers and her let out a little scream when it happened.
It was harder to push toward the end this time around as I knew what to expect! Hence the one big push to get it done with!
No tearing, no stitches and no bleeding this time.

Yes it was painful but you just do it. You know it's going to stop when baby is born.

I was 23 when I had my first and 27 for 2nd.
I do think I was very fortunate to have a relatively easy time of it.

Oh and no poo.....though if I had I probably wouldn't have noticed!

DS1 was awful. Sorry. Waters partially broke and they didn't fully break so they did it for me and then got the contractions going stronger with a pessary. The labour in total lasted about 3 days. I had about 2 hours sleep in that time. He was back to back and face first (very rare). I had gas and air and diamorphine. Went into ketosis so was put on a drip. It was going on so long they gave me one hour then it would have been 'intervention'. I pushed him out 45 minutes after that warning. Apparently it's very unusual to deliver a face first baby the normal way and he was 9lb 2oz too. I then suffered a hemorrhage 6 hours later because some of my placenta was still inside. Nevertheless i was up and out of the house 3 days later, walking to the post box.

DS2 much better. Waters broke big style at home, waddled into hospital with a towel between legs leaking everywhere. Then spent the next 12 hrs on the ward, walking around trying to get the contractions to speed up. They eventually did that night, and then my bowels emptied big style, I had terrible diarrhoea but luckily could still make it to the toilet. Was wheeled down to the labour suite, got gas and air and was there for about a couple of hours before he arrived. I felt it more this time because of no diamorphine but it's copable if you get the gas and air started in time. Unfortunately I had another bit of placenta left in again but they were aware it could happen. There was a horrible bit a few hours after the birth where a doctor was basically fishing around trying to find it. That was probably worse than the birth.

I am nearly halfway through my second pregnancy and whilst i am a bit scared about giving birth again, I am more worried about making sure DS is OK whilst I am in labour/hospital! I am also far less scared than the terrified wreck i was after the first antenatal class.

With DS, labour started with waters breaking spectacularly in the middle of the night, i was another who didn't think that would happen, no proper contractions happened for about 16 hours after that though and we thought i might have to be induced. Fortunately they did ramp up naturally and were bloody painful. Breathing techniques and getting in the bath helped me stay at home until i was 7cm dilated. Got to the hospital, got a pool and some gas and air and DS arrived 4 hours later. I had 8 hours of active labour. It was really really really painful, the water and gas and air definitely helped, but I still remember sobbing after each contraction near the end. I pooed in the pool, the midwife had a special net to scoop it out, i had no idea, DH thought it was very funny, so did i afterwards.

The weirdest thing was that DS did not come out in one go, his head came out with one contraction, then his body with the next, i had no idea it could happen. In between he turned around with just his head out, freaky!

Honestly, i am almost looking forward to birth number two. I'd like a similar experience but I'm totally open minded if things don't go that way. I know i can do it, one way or the other and you can too

I wondered, before DD was born, "Ooh, I wonder what contractions are like!"

First one and I was like, well of course that's what they'd feel like, contractions lasted five (yes, five) days. Eventually got told to go in but waters hadn't broken and show only happened three hrs before I went in.

Cue lovely pretend water birth where I spent two hrs in the pool waiting to see if I'd dilate more.
Didn't.

DD wasn't shifting, her blood oxygen level dropped and then she had a poo. My brother asked after "How did they know that?" Well, there was actual poo coming out of me. Sorry if TMI!

Emergency caesarean. Was terrified but got DH to tell me a story and we planned that his first words to her would be Happy Birthday. She was passed to him after he cut the cord (they let him do this anyway despite c-section) and I saw her little face and felt like I'd always known her. Cried my eyes out.

Honestly, from my perspective the only way that I can describe the pain is 'worth it' and at the point they took me into theatre I would have had an arm amputated to make sure she was ok. No problems bonding etc. She's now 4 months old and it feels like a very long time ago.

Good luck and congratulations- enjoy your baby x

One child. DD (5mo now). Really wanted a water birth at the local MLU (2 minute walk from my house). I had attended some really good and realistic hypnobirth classes that out NHS trust runs and the teacher was a midwife of 20 odd years, she was utterly brilliant and was very intent on telling us that it wasn't a magical solution, that there was no shame in asking for drugs and that it was to built tools to help, not to magically get us through it, that helped me a lot more than I realised in hindsight. My attitude was very much a case of "Would like to attempt gas+air only but am not going to martyr myself!"

Waters went 2am Friday morning after a sweep on Thursday afternoon at 41 weeks, DD had been checked and was in perfect position. Didn't go back to sleep. Numerous trips to MLU in afternoon/evening only to be told to go home, not 4cm yet. Hypno techniques and the ball really really helped at home.

Got sent to the Big Hospital a 40min drive away after 24hrs as I still wasn't 4cm. Got induced after 6am, we think that they went straight to the drip. DD turned back to back and it was fucking agony. I spent most of Saturday utterly delirious as I was so tired. I don't remember much beyond the 'bad' bits; the fucking nasty midwife who was covering my amazing one's lunch break, the midwives trying to put the cannula in numerous times in both hands as my veins are fucking shit, the surgeon telling me that I'd need a c-section, trying not to push when I was desperate to, pushing anyway and being in agony from it. Going for a poo because I thought it'd help the pushing sensation it didn't

I got to 9.5cm probably around 9pm on Saturday night having gas+air and pethidine (didn't remember having the latter), they discovered that DD had turned again and was now in a dangerous position to try deliver vaginally with intervention, she was well and truly stuck so wouldn't be coming out without intervention. I think it was around 10pm that we were told about the C-Section, by which point that was fine by me. Had to wait until after midnight as two emergency c-sections were before me and DD was born at 00:50 on Sunday morning. The surgeon was wonderful, he asked us about our preferences on everything and said he'd do his best to stick by them, which he did for the most part (showed us our DD over the screen instead of just telling us the sex, asked DH if he wanted to cut the cord, if we wanted her cleaned before cuddles, etc) DD had to be taken to NICU but we were able to have a very brief cuddle in theatre and they took DH to her ASAP. DH showed me a photo around 3am before he went home to sleep but I didn't see her or hold her after that until 11am on Sunday.

My second midwife was back on on the Monday and said that she'd never known somebody to be so out of it during labour. I was apparently an absolute state, kept losing conciousness/falling asleep when they were trying to get my consent and so on. I don't know whether to be glad of that or not!

The only thing I regret is agreeing to the induction. I really really didn't want one but after 28hrs in labour they talked me and DH into it despite my better judgement. I wish I'd gone straight to C Section at that point. I was terrified of going to the hospital, I have misophonia so didn't want to be on a ward (snoring is a massive trigger) and social anxiety and I am generally uneasy in hospitals, but the staff were all brilliant minus the one midwife ad one member of catering staff who got the hump because I was a gluten free vegetarian, was bitching about me outside of my room asking if I expected to be fed I was given a private room, the midwives were available all of the time to help with anything, the staff in NICU were wonderful too.

What you NEED to know!!

JUST LET YOURSELF POO!!
It will feel like doing a massive poo, I pushed for 2 hours because I was trying to push a baby out and not poo at the same time!! If I had not worried about pooing on the table I fully believe I would have been done in half the time!
I think I pooed anyway, the doctor just wiped it away and didn't react/comment. She was down there cutting my fanny wider and looking up my vagina, there are more pressing issues than your excrement
You're there to have a baby, you're not there to poo, nobody down at the business end is going to say "eww she's just pooed herself" or "jesus what did you eat?"
I wish I hadn't worried so much about pooing. I was apologising to the doctors because I had eaten curry for dinner trying to induce labour and about them having to see my piles while swearing they were pregnancy piles (which have lingered and turned into bum skin tags...)

YOUR FIRST POO IS WEIRD
Mine was like green and stringy... Go carefully, you'll be terrified but you'll be grand... I promise

IT STINGS LIKE HELL!!
It bloody well kills! It will be hard work, a friend of mine burst a blood vessel in her eye she pushed so hard!
I describe it as a stinging sensation, "sensation" makes it sound mild, it isnt mild. Get gas and air, it's great craic and it does help.

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT
I had a 66 hour labour, I had always told myself "it'll be grand, few pushes and out cones baby 10 minutes pushing. DONE" reality is a fucker, you've got to just go with what happens, that baby is coming out one way or another, it just has to be the safest way, that's all that matters!

Good luck, you'll be grand!!

DD1 - 39 +2 contractions started at 8am and felt like period pains. Thought I had kidney pains (I was half asleep) and having a lie in. Rang labour ward and was told to go have a bath. Couldn't sit down in the bath so went in shower and had an almighty contraction. Called DH who was an hour and a quarter drive away. He arrived and I was in the thick of it. 30 min drive to hospital and I was 7cm dilated. Taken to the midwife led area as there wasn't room on labour ward, had useless midwife but to be fair I was pushing her away every time i had a contraction. Plug went and fell onto my bare feet (yuk!) and then my waters which had chunks of meconium on it. I asked for diamorphine and the midwife left and didn't come back so I was shouting 'I want f**ng diamorphine' out at the labour ward. Eventually got it and started gurning. Told MW I wanted to push and she said 'No you don't and put my into a wheelchair which I then sprang out of and delivered DD1 on the floor on all fours with 2 pushes. She was flat as a pancake and the Obs team all collapsed in. All before lunch.

DD2 I was induced as I was a 40 min drive from hospital with no traffic and was due at the end of school holidays so went into hospital at 38 weeks to be induced. Felt 'funny' on the day and found I was 3cm gone already when they examined me. Spent 12 hours waiting for room on labour ward and then they broke my waters and DD2 was here within 90 minutes. Contractors started at 1 minute long every 5 minutes and she was out with 3 pushes. My placenta wouldn't come out though.

No tears or grazes, I must have a bucket. Think I got off pretty lightly with both my DDs births.

1. 37+6 - sweep at 9am, waters went around 11.30am, contractions started, hypnobirth, DS1 arrived at 4pm. OBGYN performed small episiotomy but don't remember it hurting. Yes I shit myself, didn't care.

1. 38+2 - had to be a monitored birth so I went into labor around 10pm, got epidural at 11pm, slept until 6am when my OBGYN woke me up to tell me I was fully dilated, DS2 arrived at 6.05am. Shit myself, didn't care.

Had on heart, my experiences were AMAZING and I would do either one again in a heartbeat. As far as I'm concerned it was having the choice and control over both my labors that made them such great experiences. I knew I could request pain relief if and when I wanted it so always always felt in control.

That women have to beg for pain relief when trying to push a human out of their body is one of the most barbaric, inhumane and despicable practises still in play.

1st. 4 hours. Back ache. Gas and air helped. When I couldn't face any more pain I asked to be checked and was told to push. I don't remember the delivery hurting and had just a small tear,no stitches, no poo! Midwife was cross with me for refusing placenta delivery drug.

1. 2 hours. Very painful contractions but after a while I tried to accept and welcome them and that did work to lessen the pain a bit! No tears or poo, I felt lucky.

40+3 when I had ds. V short labour about 4 or 5 hours.
I didn't shit myself and I didn't have any pain relief.
It wasn't a laugh but nor was it the worst pain I've ever been in. It's a bit like being in a really hardcore exercise class - you're not particularly enjoying it at the time but you know it'll be worth it once it's over.

1st. 44 and a half hours. Planned home birth transferred to hospital after failure to progress. Spinal and forceps. Recovery worse than labour. Baby probably not in good position and contractions didn't get strong enough to sort until they used drugs.

2nd. 8 hours home birth. Baby had hand next to face so pushing was agony. 2nd degree tear but healing much better than after labour one.

The common factor with both births is that I am useless for the few hours after birth. Could have been related to blood loss or exhaustion in both cases but I end up shaking and unable to move for 1-2 hours afterwards. Not much good at looking after babies at that point either. Also both were supposed to be water births and although I laboured in water both times, I had to get out to deliver - due to things not happening very quickly.

I might have shit myself: no idea, by tine the pushing bit came (sorry I've sort of blanked the terminology from my mind now) I was passing out between contractions, and I'd had a spinal block in anticipation of possibly needing an EMCS. It was twins, 24h labour, DT1 was back to back. The shockingly bad postnatal care was the worst bit TBH.