To ask for genuine, real birth stories!?

[FunkyChunkyCherub]

First baby due in 3 months - I'm not scared of labour at all (maybe I should be ) but I feel like everyone I know has painted an unrealistic picture for me! I've either had a vague 'it was hell but worth it for my little bundle of joy' or 'I quite liked the experience, it was empowering and real I love what a woman's body can do' etc. All very lovely but I want details!

How long did it last? How painful? What drugs (if any)? Did you shit yourself?! I need some answers!!

After I had the twins at 40 weeks the next day I remember thinking there must be a third in there - there was such a remaining bump! It did go down. I was back to post pregnancy weight within 7 months actually.

First baby, home birth, 12 hours, no drugs. Didn't enjoy the bearing down contractions much but the rest was a breeze - honestly. Did hypnobirthing online.

Oh actually - you could count the birth pool as a comfort measure I guess.. wish I'd had a large glass of wine for transition!

Oh and I was 42 weeks.

I was a week overdue and had a sweep at 40+4. 2 days later I woke with mild period pain type pains. Dozed through them for a couple of hours and then they started becoming for regular and stronger. Managed to shower and wash my hair, shave legs etc. Spent the rest of the day bouncing on my ball and rocking from side to side. I lost a big blob of plug and eventually called my midwife who came to check on my at home. Contractions were about 4 minutes apart by then and I was ready for some pain relief.

By the time my midwife came she checked me and I was 4-5cm so I went to hospital. I had gas and air but had so much of it I passed out and they took it off me. I pushed for about 35mins and ds was born at 1.05am after those early contractions had started about 6am.

Had no other pain relief but had a 2nd degree tear that had your be stitched. Bizarrely once I was pushing I didn't feel the pain of my contractions but the head crowning was spectacularly painful. It stung and burned.

Unfortunately I struggled to pass urine afterwards and ended up with a catheter for a week which was honestly the worst part.

Currently 13+4 with dc2 and hoping for a home birth this time!

My contractions started at around 9 pm in the evening. They were very close together right from the start every 2-3 minutes and quite intense. I thought this meant the baby would come quickly, but that wasn't the case!

Got into a birth pool at home. My mum was there and soon my midwife (who I already knew well and totally trusted) and trainee midwife arrived. Then the doula, who I'd hired because I didn't know if my mum would be there. She went around doing things like lighting electronic candles and putting essential oils in a burner. I couldn't have given a sh*t at that point and thought she was insane.

Laboured at home in the birth pool all night, surrounded by lovely women. I was surprised that I didn't find it painful, although I did find it hard work. When it began to feel too intense, I started to have gas and air. At around 9 am I had another internal that showed that I had an anterior lip (a swollen bit of the cervix that had got a bit stuck and was preventing progress) and the midwife broke my waters and there was a lot of meconium in the waters and it smelled horrid. Based on that we decided that I should transfer in to hospital, which I did in an ambulance (after walking down 5 flights of stairs from the top of the house).

Once I got in the ambulance and they started monitoring fetal heart rate more often, it really stressed me out. We went in to the obstetric ward and had a room to wait/labour in. After the peace at home, I found the fluorescent lighting and lack of comfort in the hospital room really unconducive to labouring productively. The consultant wanted to get baby out using forceps, but I was keen to avoid forceps and with the support of my midwife (who was amazing, and even stayed with me in hospital) I asked to keep trying for 15 more minutes to see if I could get baby to crown, in which case they could use ventouse instead. Managed it, yay! Super supportive midwife made a massive difference; changing position a lot (despite uncomfortable 'bed' thing and pressure to stay on back to keep fetal heart monitor attached easily) also helped to make it happen. Went into theatre for ventouse delivery and episiotomy. All fine and happy. Stayed in overnight afterwards so that baby could be given antibiotics through a cannula as a preventative measure based on the meconium in the waters.

I was happy that I had had the best possible birth and delighted with my new daughter. The midwives helped me to establish breastfeeding pretty much immediately, though I had to get further help in the days when I returned home.

In retrospect, I think I would have done everything the same again.

I'm pregnant again and will definitely try for another home birth. As a second-timer, I wouldn't let anyone break my waters and I would try to re-position to get over the anterior lip. But given that it was a first birth, it was totally right to have gone in to hospital based on the issues.

It was really wonderful and apparently I said several times to my mother during labour that it wasn't half as bad as I'd expected and that I'd do it again! It was kind of like running a marathon though -- bloody hard work, but a huge sense of achievement.

1. 67 minutes in total. Not much worse than period pains (that said I have PCOS and excruciating period pains so my pain threshold is pretty high...) They put in an epidural too late so it didn't work til afterwards. 3 stitches. The midwife gave a 'local anaesthetic' but it didn't remotely work or she didn't wait for it to work. That was worse than giving birth. I only pushed once.

1. 21 minutes start to finish. Too fast for them to be arsed to give pain relief. Although not too fast for the midwife to manage a coffee break. Student had to rush her into room for the delivery she'd insisted wasn't going to happen for ages yet. Gave birth into her ungloved hands. Served her right. Worst 21 minutes of my life. Horrendous pain. I thought I was dying. Husband so traumatised watching it he couldn't look at baby for days. No stitches. I went home in a couple of hours. And again I only did one push.

1. So for this labour I went alone. Coping with husband in room was worse than giving birth. I banned him. A couple of hours so a sloooow labour for me. Insisted on epidural. It only worked down one half of my body. Very curious feeling agonising pain but only down one side. They put that right quickly. Then I passed out. Turned out my blood pressure got too low. Midwife hit panic button and when I came round I was told "Just now this room was full of people!" It was still my favourite birth as the epidural then worked and I felt nothing. Zero Zilch. I was literally drinking a cup of tea as I gave birth. It was wonderful. Insist on ALL THE DRUGS. Slows you down but then you feel nothing. Again, only one push. Again, no stitches.

1. Awful pregnancy with kidney problems, constant hospitalisation, fainting, etc. Bled the whole way through and no-one ever explained it. Baby born a month early. He was small. Labour went on 3 or 4 hours, maybe longer, I'm not sure. Refused pain relief because of my past history. Australian relief midwife sat the other end of the delivery room doing paperwork all night. Denied I was about to give birth when I said I was. Then panicked. Grabbed a cleaner from the hallway - well a woman with a mop. Baby grey and not breathing. I saw my notes the next day and something about my 'unexplained bleeding' which apparently had been throughout, although the indifferent Aussie failed to mention it. He was resussed. Again, the father not present.

1. Baby sideways so I was in hospital for over 3 weeks in antenatal ward. Labour several hours. refused anaesthetic again because I labour 'easily' and that's really for panicking first timers... (Different hospital to the others, too). I felt the midwife wanted to experience one with no anaesthetics though and she encouraged me to give birth standing up (horrendous). Probably knocking something off her birth giving bucket list. Again, one push, no stitches.

The fastest one (No 2) was the most painful. The best one was No 3, where I could persuade them to do an epidural but TBH at the point I asked for it, I wasn't in much pain so exaggerated it, so they'd do it in time.

What strikes me reading this thread is, my oldest son is 28 and not a single person here has posted anything that couldn't have been posted thirty years ago. So three decades have passed - four or so since they had epidurals - and still no more effective pain relief than precisely the same primitive techniques they had when I first gave birth?

Why has nothing moved on?

Sorry forgot to say I was 38+6 and had obstetric cholestasis. I had a sweep a couple of days beforehand which may or may not have started things going.

I'm now 16 weeks pregnant with number 2!

Ds 1 (now age 23) - 10hr labour back to back contractions every 2-3 mins from start (same with all my labours must be how my body works. Pethidine followed by epidural - ended up assisted delivery due to heart rate drop, 3 x failed ventouse deliveries, 3 x forceps and he was delivered on the 3rd. Lots of stitches, bad brusing needed heat therapy. Ended up with infection in stitches. Vowed to not have another epidural as couldn't listen to my body

Ds 2 - (now 12). Labour about 5hrs, waters went 7am, contractions started 2pm delivered at 7pm. Pethidine again but no epidural. No assisted delivery few pushes and he was out. No stitches just a graze. I felt completely empowered and was amazed what my body could do

Dd1 - now aged 9. 5hr labour, like others contractions from the start every 2-3mins. No drugs this time only tens machine which I lived. No stitches not even a graze, I drove us home 2hrs later! For me not having an epidural meant an easier delivery - I listened to my body, even re not pushing as hard as I could, it was holding me back, I'm sure so I didn't tear. With an epidural you don't get that as your natural instincts are blocked.

Good luck

41+something weeks. Contractions started in the evening mildly but went away after sauna. Started again the next morning at 10 (while I was in a benefits meeting!), went to the hospital a couple of hours later but was only 2.5cm dilated (they admitted me anyway because I was in quite a bit of pain)

Had to have an enema but apparently that's not a thing in most places... that was, uncomfortable

Tried to ease pains by sitting on one of those gym balls but soon resorted to gas and air.

When pain got worse but I wasn't really progressing I was offered water blisters for pain relief which is where they inject some saline into your lower back. Hurts like fuck and does nothing for the labour pain so do not recommend.

After several hours I discussed with the doctor further pain relief options and decided to go for the para-cervical block. Again do not recommend as it doesn't help much, only with the feeling of dilating not the contractions themselves and it had worn off completely by the time I hit transition but was too late to get another as I was fully dilated so no cervix left to inject.

Transition felt like I needed to do a really big poo, the same kind of pain you get when you have a really bad tummy bug and you get that horrible cramping in your belly and feel a bit sick from it. Actually thought I needed to poo and refused to believe the midwife when she told me it was the baby coming and went to the loo. Realised I didn't need to poo and came back

Actual pushing lasted 45 minutes (labour as a whole was 13 hours according to the midwife) and was much more exhausting than I had expected. It really is like hard work and I got very tired and cried a lot saying that I couldn't do it any more. Was also very hot work so stripped off completely and gave birth totally naked

The 'ring of fire' wasn't as bad as I feared and reaching down to feel baby's head made it better immediately. Head also came down and went back up a lot of times, had to get a really hard push to pop it out. Also had trouble feeling when was the right time to push. Once head was out, pushing the rest of the body out was comparatively easy and don't even remember what it was like pushing the placenta out (but do remember how weird and purple it was)

After pains were pretty bad for the first few hours and needed a strong painkiller, plus my nether regions stung like hell - definitely recommend one of those doughnut pillows to sit on afterwards.

All in all, gas and air is fucking awesome and makes you high as a kite (which I declared to the doctor when she came in to check on me), water blisters and para-cervical blocks aren't worth it, and in future I'll probably opt for an epidural just so I can rest and have energy for the pushing stage.

Oops, wrote an essay there. Sorry.

Wishing you all the best.

Would I do it again? No, but plenty of others do. Nobody has the same experience and yours will be unique.

DD1 - membrane ruptured at 36 weeks. Admitted to hospital to be induced. Pessaries failed so hooked up to syntocinon drip. Nothing happened over several hours so syntocinon increased at regular intervals up to 8. Midwives changed shift. Newly qualified midwife did an internal examination to discover waters not fully broken so breaks waters. Within minutes intense contractions start and within 30 minutes contractions have taken hold with no break in between. Lost control of bladder and bowels and a became hysterical with the pain. Epidural administered and calm resumes. Could feel enough to push - body took over and baby was born 3 hours later. Third degree tear stitched up. Much neon yellow projectile vomit and uncontrollable shakes, but otherwise felt great. Beautiful baby in my arms :)

DD2 - membrane ruptured at 40+2. Admitted to hospital and put on syntocinon drip. Requested and received epidural immediately. Felt no pain at all. Very calm, read a book & had a few naps. Midwife told me to start pushing, lost control of bowels several times. Baby born 45 minutes later. Much vomiting and uncontrollable shakes but otherwise very happy. Beautiful baby in my arms.

1: checked by midwife at home when contractions underway, , turned up to hospital when it felt a bit much, pronounced as 10 cm dilated and also breech. Tried to keep going then ended up with unplanned c sec.

1. Aimed for a vbac after much thought. Thought waters had broken but no action - went to hospital just in case, advised as over 24 hours had passed, that I needed a c sec. Booked me in, then delayed it to next morning as they did not want to do it that night. Contractions started while waiting, got to 10 cm but baby not moving, ended up with epidural, forceps and episiotomy. Vbac in name only, c sec would have been much easier!

Best of luck to you though!