To ask for genuine, real birth stories!?

[FunkyChunkyCherub]

First baby due in 3 months - I'm not scared of labour at all (maybe I should be ) but I feel like everyone I know has painted an unrealistic picture for me! I've either had a vague 'it was hell but worth it for my little bundle of joy' or 'I quite liked the experience, it was empowering and real I love what a woman's body can do' etc. All very lovely but I want details!

How long did it last? How painful? What drugs (if any)? Did you shit yourself?! I need some answers!!

On/off pre-labour for about five days (what fun), my TENS machine needed replacement pads! Then about 11 hours of established labour, which was excrutiatingly painful although not unmanageably so - I was in the pool the whole time with some gas and air at the end.

I figured out partway through that I needed to start breathing and moving into the contractions when I could feel them coming not when they were fully underway - a bit like catching a wave - and that helped. Before that I was trying to get away from them and that made it hurt more.

I had an "I cant do this, I've had enough" moment at transition, which was just after my waters broke, but after that I found pushing really satisfying and not at all painful. No lasting damage, no stitches. And no poo!

When the midwife handed DD to me in the pool I was petrified, she was so fragile and small. I did delayed cord clamping and physiological third stage so she was feeding while all that was going on - she latched fairly easily and we were lucky we never had any bf issues.

It's an amazing process. Nothing else I've done compares at all.

The most useful piece of advice I had beforehand was - you've got this, you can do it and you will do it. I kept repeating it to myself over and over to stop the pain from taking over.

Bless you OP. You really are better not knowing!
DS1 was 56 hours of pain. Failed induction. No heartbeat. Emergency c-section. Total terror. Don't even get me started on the dire after care.
DS2 was 2 hours of contractions and popped out on his own as I reached the hospital doors.
Whatever your experience turns out to be OP I promise you it's all worth it.
Good luck! x

That's what annoys me, there's no certificate if you decide to go against drugs etc. Please go in with an open mind.

Back to back labour of 13 hours after pessary induction at 41+6. Pain was something else and I never seemed to get more than 30 seconds break between contractions, right from start. Epidural put in as soon as possible but didn't work and never did despite endless top ups and attempts to re-site. I ended up numb only from about halfway down pubes which wasn't much use for the seemingly endless contractions going on further north! An hour of pushing yielded nothing and went to theatre for forceps. Baby totally stuck and then her HB dropped and wasn't coming up again so had crash section under general anaesthetic as no time to do a spinal.

Pretty much the extreme opposite of an ideal labour and birth!! But I got over it and had another - that time an incredibly peaceful elective section - an amazing experience. I don't have any negative feelings about first birth - their very speedy actions undoubtedly saved my daughter. Giving birth under general sucked though, but thankfully really isn't that common.

With DC1, I was 39+2 pregnant. I had been for a very long walk to collect my list wallet, and I fell asleep for a couple of hours in the evening, I woke up, and went to the loo, where I noticed that I had a 'bloody show'. This was basically a mixture of blood and musts in my pants. During the night, I had mild contractions, which felt like period pains, only lasting for a short time and then vanishing, every half an hour or so.

They got closer together over the corse of the night, but when I got up in the morning, they slowed down again to around once every half hour or so. I called the hospital to let them know, because I was planning a home birth.

I went out to meet friends for lunch at our regular café. I was still having contractions every half hour, but didn't mention them. I stopped off to buy some nappies on the way home, and seeing all the stuff in the baby aisle made the contractions stronger. I went home and pottered around a bit and chatted to my mum on the phone. The contractions were stronger by this point - like period pains with a bit of trapped wind, and gradually getting closer together and longer. I went for a nap, and when I woke up, they were stronger still - manageable, but stronger and feeling regular. I cooked some food and watched TV, but I didn't feel like eating. I called the midwives at around 6pm to let them know that I was in labour, but there was a shortage at the hospital, so they couldn't come straight away. I watched TV, but by 7pm I was in active labour, and focused on breathing through the contractions. It all got quite intense, and I felt really uncomfortable, and shut myself in the loo and refused to come out. DP talked me out, and the midwife arrived and everything seemed to stop at that point. I'd been having contractions every three minutes at that point. But they stopped once the midwife came. The midwife didn't really believe DP when he said that I was having contractions close together, but when she examined me, it was clear that I was fully dilated, so she called the second midwife.

I think all the midwife stuff put me off my effective labour, because I didn't really get an urge to push. The midwives kept on telling me to push through the pain, but my problem was that I didn't get a pain cue to push, just a sensation that I could push if I wanted to, and the position the baby was in meant that actually pushing her down was very painful, as I could feel her head pressing against each vertebra of my spine so I spent ages walking around pushing. I'm fairly sure that I was pooing and weeing at this point, but I didn't actually notice. When the baby's head was starting to come out, the midwife held a mirror so that I could see her head, to encourage me to push harder. It worked, and I gave a massive push so that instead of crowning, her head and body came out in one big push at around 10:30pm. I had wanted to wait until the placenta was out before cutting the cord, but the umbilical cord was too short for me to hold DD, so I had the cord cut. I wandered around a bit to deliver the placenta, but it was clamped, and the clamp looked as though I had a pair of scissors in my vagina which freaked me out a bit, and I felt as if my insides were about to fall out, and nothing was happening with the placenta naturally, so I had an injection to speed it up. It worked, but made me go a bit shaky. Then I tried to feed DD, and I got checked for tears which was quite unpleasant because I felt quite sore and having someone touch my labia hurt. I had a small graze, which could heal by itself. I had a bath and went to bed and stayed up gazing at my new baby, who made alarming breathing/not breathing sounds which, it turned out, were perfectly normal.

My muscles were really achy for the next few days, and pooing was scary and painful for around a week or two. Breastfeeding turned out to be very painful and difficult, but after the first month, it was fine.

Thanks for your stories! I know it might seem daft or like I'm trying to scare myself. It seems really like everyone is very different and you can't always plan. So far I'm thinking I'm just going to go with it and accept drugs if I need them as there's absolutely no shame in it (despite what my mother says ) I have quite a high pain threshold so I'm praying it won't be too bad! All worth it though right?

Every labour is different I have 3dc and no 2 deliveries were the same.

Dc1 I had 8 days of pre-labour (low level contractions every 10 min) 10 hours actual labour with ventouse(sp?) delivery. Pain relief was entinox, pethadine(sp?) and TENS.
Dc2 very little warning 28 minute labour, natural delivery entinox and TENS.
Dc3 was induced, waters had to be broken (he sort of surfed out) entinox and TENS again.
It was painful but given that you're pushing out something the size and weight of a watermelon, that's no big surprise.

I've done it twice with no pain relief and no injuries apart from some very minor grazing (outer parts, very normal, healed quickly).

I had a panicked few minutes during the first because I was tired and didn't know how close I was. For the second I gave birth in the pool only 2hrs after arriving at the hospital. I laboured on a ball for most of it (this really helped to keep him moving down) and was calm and in control the whole time.

I agree with pp that, provided you have no complications, you should feel confident that you can do it. I never thought that it would be easy, but I knew I could do it. I grew up on a farm and I've seen dogs, horses, sheep and cows do it so figured I must be able to as well. Same goes for BF - if a sheep and lamb can figure it out together then I saw no reason why my babies and I couldn't either!

X post op - yes, absolutely worth it!

DC1: waters broke at 38 weeks, no labour so induced which took ages to get going, gas & air, got to about 5cm, couldn't cope with the pain, had epidural, managed 1cm more, hours of no progress, baby in distress, C-section, one healthy baby.

DC2: VBAC, spontaneous labour at 40+5, one day of niggling cramps, then started to ramp up, went to hospital, laboured for about 10 hours, gas & air, coped much better through will power I think not because any less painful - determined to cope (as convinced all the interventions for DC1 led to C-section and wanted to avoid if possible given had toddler as well as baby), finally gave in and asked for epidural when too late, pushing really hard work, baby got distressed, ventouse + me finally got baby out, one healthy baby, one proud mum.

Baby 1. Water broke 3 weeks early. Given gel induction did not work. Sitting around hospital for hours an hours very bored. Put on drip to induce, over 24 hours later. This was in breach of their policy of losing waters (infection). When pushing turns out my forewaters still in tact so the entire induction was pointless because it is far less infection risk losing hind waters. The baby was still in entire membranes 🙄. I had no drugs, they were mean and pushy and I was so tired. They kept fobbing me off. Pushing was nothing like what they tell you, it's like doing the biggest poo of your life and classes don't really make that clear. Crowning is quite scary, it's like a burning pain. I tore and needed a lot of stitches for which I got an anaesthetic (which was great) but after it feels like a shire horse has kicked you in the vagina. I did poo a bit and had to stay in for 4 days for no clear reason. Didn't like any of the MW's very much

1. Very mild but regular contractions at 39 weeks. Ambled down to hospital when they were 3 mins apart. Was 5cm dilated. Got on the gas and air but it was all relaxed and easy going. MW was brilliant and lovely and kind. Suddenly an hour later I announced I felt like I needed a poo and it felt quite nice sitting on the loo as the pressure was sooooo intense, still not really painful so didn't feel like I was really in full labour. Just pressure. Dragged off loo by MW who whipped my trousers off to find I was crowning. Just kept saying I needed a poo, no it's the baby. One huge contraction happened and baby slid out all in one! No stitches required. Was bloody great and over in 2 hours!

Both my births were hideous , I won't go further than that . I hope you have a fast easy birth .

DC1 - 7 hours start to finish, first 3 at home. An hour sitting waiting to be triaged because I wasn't making as much noise as others arrriving (I'm a pretty buttoned up sort of gal) only to finally be examined and found to be 6cm! Got in the pool, had gas and air, so much pain I thought I was dying, but somehow kept going and out he popped, breaking his waters as he came / they had to scoop him out of the water! Then a rather traumatic 40 mins trying to deliver the placenta and losing blood because they didn't give me the injection but no tearing, and home after 2 days.

DC2 - 7 hours start to finish, first 3 hours at home, 6cm when examined (notice a pattern?!) pool not available, but ended up getting a bath in my room, but couldn't move around so labour slowed down. Put up on the bed by the midwife, and told I had til 4am to have the baby and then pushed him out by 3.30am, against my better instincts cos didn't have that overwhelming urge to push yet. Only had gas and air again, same out of my mind pain - albeit only a couple of hours. Ended up with PPH and a tear which required stitching. Kept me in for 3 days, but then no trouble once discharged. Definitely my least pleasant labour because I don't feel supported by the midwife.

DC3 - went for a sweep because 8 days late, but the midwife found on examination that I was 6cm () not having contractions at that time, but had woken up with them in the morning. Sent to the maternity hospital, no pool available, bounced on the birthing ball til my contractions came on, DD born a few hours later, Gas and air, same dreadful fucking pain, but again, only a couple of hours. She was born at 6pm, and I was back home on my sofa eating Chinese by 10.30pm definitely my best labour!

I would also say don't consider yourself an expert as you've read a few magazines and books. If you're thinking of delayed clamping etc, ask the MW on what their thoughts are. Don't take it as verbatim that it's the right thing to do.

I knew about delayed clamping, but I reacted so badly to the spinal that it was a relief both DS & DD were there and alive. Although DS came out not breathing, which was awful, the first photos with DS, DH is holding him and is grey. It was literally a tears down cheeks time. You get the oh I've just given birth photos, I was that ill that I don't have them for either DC. I was on oxygen, drips, my body was shutting down during delivery, pregnancy really took it out of me that much.

They put DC on my chest each time, I was so scared I was going to Vom over them I had to turn away.

That's one thing if you have a section and feel sick, tell them straight away, they'll get you to tilt your head & hold a bowl there. I was told most women are fine after a few minutes, but my SATs crashed, my BP crashed, so they wanted babies out quick, whilst stabilising me.

I don't think it would have been the best of photos me with my mask on, near on translucent in the face. Not really with it at all.

If you have a section moving ASAP is the best thing to do so you don't get stuff. Even walking up and down the ward. Also with a section as you'll struggle picking baby up, see if you can arrange with family/friends, for someone to come as soon as they say it's ok, then have DH come and stay as late as he can. Then they can pass baby to you.

If you're going to BF pretty much now I'd get over omg Dad seeing my boobs. I never thought I'd feed in front of male family, but try telling a hungry baby they need to wait. I always had a cover so you couldn't see much breast anyway.

I think the hard thing about the pain is that it's like nothing else you've ever felt and can't really prepare for. In a way I think it's good to hear real stories - there seems to be this unwritten rule of not telling new mums to be the full story so it takes lots of people by surprise because you just can't imagine how it could be that bad! The only way I can describe it is as your whole uterus being clamped in a vice which is being tightened harder and harder and then gradually released. The fear comes because you can't imagine how you can stand another second of it as it gets worse.

But - I found counting through them really helpful. You know each contraction will end so if you have a good idea of how long they're lasting you know when you've gone over its peak and it's on its way out.

Also - we associate pain with harm - damage and injury to ourselves. It can be helpful to keep telling yourself that the pain is doing no harm to your body - rather it's doing exactly what it should be doing.

first birth- waters broke at exactly 40 weeks at 7pm, had some pains that i thought were bad, but looking back were really fairly mild. went into hospital at 2am, they kept me in, and gave me some pethadine as I was in a fair bit of discomfort but not really getting anywhere. at 9am, I was 3cm, so they took me up to the labour ward, chugged away on the gas and air for about 6 more hours with not a lot of progress, the contracts were on top of each other but not doing a lot, so i finally agreed to an epidural at 3pm. I don't remember that hurting going in at all, but by that point I wasn't coping at all with the contractions and so I just don't think i noticed. My epi didn't work very well, only taking down one side. so i was still on the g&a. by 7pm I was ready to push, but i was shattered as had been awake for 36 hours by this point. I don't really remember the last bit well, I know she was finally born at 9pm weighing in at 7lb1oz and came out the wrong way up.
My second was a breeze by comparison. I had a planned homebirth, I felt my first contractions at 6am, midwife came out at 8am and I was 4cm. had some gas and some food and watched tv and generally pottered about until 12 where she checked me again and said I was 7cm. 10 mins later after 2 pushes I was holding my baby. and honestly I've had worse periods, lol.
3rd was similar to the second. waters started trickling at 12pm, Midwife came out at 1pm and said I was 4cm. but she had no one available to do a homebirth, so i sulked off to the midwife led unit, got there at 3.30, baby was born at 3.55 after 2 pushes and I was home on my sofa eating chips by 8.30. had a few puffs of g&a.
I don't even know if there was was shit. If there was no one mentioned it, and it wascleared away without me seeing/noticing!

First baby was six days late, labour started with contractions and then a bloody show about 10pm after a sweep. Bounced on a ball and sat in the bath all night. Thought I had done a poo in the bath at about 7.30am but when I couldn't find one I realised it was my waters. Went to hospital at 8 to be told I was only 2cm and to go home, though I was beginning to struggle. Went home and got back in the bath, started mooing and rushed to hospital on all fours in the back of the car and on arrival they could see the head. Still had to push for two hours but I had loads of gas and air and was having a super amazing time. Baby was born around 1pm. I wanted a natural third stage but the placenta wouldn't budge so after an hour I had the injection, the midwife tugged on the cord a bit and I did a wee on her hand and then it came our. Had a third degree tear but loved the spinal block they gave me. Stayed in overnight and a midwife fetched a doctor as she was concerned my labia was going to explode. It didn't and I recovered well.

Second baby was 11 days late and labour was five hours from the first twinge. I had a sweep in the morning, walked home and then felt a bit achey at about 11am. It was ramping up so called DH home from work at 12 while I sat in the bath. Went to hospital at 2 when the midwife said I wasn't in labour and wanted me to go home but said I felt a bit hot so sent me for monitoring. Contractions were getting stronger so asked for an examination and was told I was 2cm and would have to go home. I refused and then while the midwife did paperwork I felt like I needed a poo and I knew the baby was coming. Was wheeled to the delivery room, had some gas and air and the baby was born within 15 mins. Was discharged 8 hours later and went home to sleep in my own bed.

Has anyone had the birth where baby is still in the amniotic sack? There's meant to be various myths about it, were they any different as a child, picking out winning lottery numbers etc.

Lotus birth I think it's called.

I had an epidural, never felt a thing.

Did labour at home for a couple of days first and then went into hospital. It was very painful but I coped with each contraction on gas and air but I was exhausted so opted for the epidural to get some sleep.

Yes Funky I went in with a "Woah fuck I have no idea how I'll cope" attitude. Some of my ante natal group had fixed ideas and struggled to cope when it didn't happen like they hoped. It really doesn't matter as long as you get a baby to take home.
I don't know how my dc's school friends were born. Only ante natal groups care

1. • started with my waters breaking, then painful contractions for a couple of days at home. Too painful to sleep (though retrospectively, I should've taken more of the paracetamol/codeine and tried harder to sleep!), but nothing I couldn't watch a movie through. Eventually I got exhausted (crying from tiredness) and needed to be induced as too long had elapsed since my waters had broken. So they induced me, I had an epidural, and I had the most utterly wonderful half hour's sleep of my life. Woke up, the epidural wore off, and I had DD. Delivered lying on my side, crowning was the most agonising bit. I remember wanting to rest from pushing for a contraction and get my breath back and being surprised when the midwife told me that that was allowed!
2. • DS kept getting engaged and then creeping back up again overnight, then gradually settling downwards again and being engaged by the evening. Eventually one day I woke up and could tell he was still engaged and that it would be That Day Backache got gradually stronger during the day, passed through period crampy and into contractions. Went to hospital about 3am, wasn't that dilated but because they weren't too busy they let us stay and sent me to go for a walk. Paced up and downstairs feeling generally awful and threatening DH that I was going to pass out / be sick / not be able to move for the pain and would be stuck where I was. Eventually got given G&A, then got in the birthing pool and that helped with the pain a fair bit. Gradually the contractions got more and more fucking agonising, I had a great midwife talking to me the whole time and DH counting me through each contraction. My waters broke and that helped, relieved the pressure a lot. I had a panicky moment when the midwife refused to be psychic and tell me how long was left, and I wanted to know if I could get out and have an epidural. The MW went off tp check but by the time she came back I had the urge to push. Was rather shocked when she told me it was okay to go ahead and push but then suddenly felt back in control! Home stretch! (forgive the pun) I had a job to do instead of just waiting for the next contraction! So the agony was suddenly bearable again and I pushed and pushed and out popped DS

Okay, that was an essay but you did ask for details Good luck for your turn!

Re pain, it can actually be misleading when you don't get a lot of it, natural birth for me was very fast and not about the intense pain you may read about but intense pressure. If it was my DC1 I may have stayed home far too long and plopped her out in the car.
Induction (drip) labour hurts like absolutely fuckety fuck because it's all controlled by hormones to bring on the contractions, I have no idea how realistic it is to other natural labours - I read and hear it's extremely painful more so than natural labour, but I am not sure. I lost all sense of time and my own mind in the last part before pushing so the pain became kind of my entire exsistence at that point - there is nothing else to focus on so your mind kind of tries to help you cope by going quite blank, it can be hard to follow instructions so you need your birth partner to be able to help you and understand what you need (you want a drink but it's hard to communicate) and what limits you have and be in tune with you.
You also need them to be the one who demands things for you, no good them taking a back seat, they need to advocate for you - not all MW's have the best bedside manner, so that's the birth partners job

First baby, one week early. Labour lasted 7.5 hours and started very shortly after the waters broke. Used gas and air until I couldn't handle the pain any longer and was then given pethidine. I don't remember very much after that but I do remember being very surprised that I'd gone from 5cm to 10cm in what seemed like a very short time.

Second baby, two weeks overdue. Woke at 4am with what felt like really bad back ache which came and went in waves. Woke my husband and told him, convinced it was down to how I'd slept. He rang the hospital even though I was adamant that I wasn't in labour. The midwife he spoke to suggested I get ready and go along for them to check me over. Husband rang his mother who arrived at 4.30am to stay with our then 3 year old. We left for the hospital and the pain was getting really bad to the point that I was crying out with it, and clutching onto the handle things on the roof. My husband really put his foot down and as luck would have it, all traffic lights were on green. He pulled up at A&E and ran in (he said that he ran in shouting that his wife was having a baby on the car park). While he was in there the waters broke. A nurse came out with a wheelchair and took me up to maternity. They didn't check me in and just took me straight into a delivery room, took one look at me and I remember the midwife say "We're having a baby!" When I saw my notes later we'd arrived at maternity at 4.45am and my son was born at 4.49. I was begging for pethidine but there was no time and no point really. I didn't even get to have any gas and air. There was a student midwife in there, this was her first delivery and she was told not to expect that to happen every time.

I'll tell you about my first, as it's your first.

Contractions started before waters broke, got to hospital at 8cm dilated, but it was another 13 hours (already had 12 hours of contractions getting steadily worse) until dd born.

I had a very naive idealistic fucking stupidview of going with no drugs, but I did take 2 paracetamol at the start of my contractions (which obviously did fuck all , bless my little cottons 😂😂😂) But I did use a tens machine which was bloody brilliant. It did work because in one contraction my dh was in charge of pressing the button when the pain got so bad in contractions I lost the ability to press a damn button! and he decided to conduct a little experiment and not press the button to see if it was more painful. I shit you not. It was definately more painful!!

I did get to a point when I thought it can't possibly get any more painful, but then it does (when midwife breaks your waters because they haven't broken yet) and amazingly you will carry on. I also got to a point where I genuinely wanted to die but that passes, obviously. I had apparently missed the boat with the pain relief at this point but I did get gas and air.

The thing no one told me was when dd was eventually born, the contractions carried on until the afterbirth comes out and they are still almost as painful! I thought another baby was bloody coming! I wish someone had warned me. This was only really painful though with dc1, so maybe a first birth thing?

But nothing compares to looking at your baby for the first time after all that. It is an indescribable feeling.

I went on to have 3 more , so that tells you how much it's worth it!

Good luck OP. I hope everything goes well for you!

Oh and something else I wish someone had told me. When you go for a wee for the first time afterwards, take something to bite down on, it helps a lot. It generally gets better by wee number 4.