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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just lied to other parents about what I do?

115 replies

ShamefulDodger · 10/04/2017 18:47

Inspired by a recent thread on here about loneliness I decided I didn't want dd to end up like me (I'm essentially an autistic hermit) so enrolled her on a dance class.

We had our first lesson today and actually it went really well. Dd had a shaky start but then went off to dance happily with the other children.

It was a very proud moment.

I even managed to hold a conversation with a group of parents without appearing too odd. (I hope)

But...the inevitable question of 'what do you do?' came up.

I thought I was 'blending' in quite well, so didn't really want to announce that actually I was disabled and an ashamed recluse that lives off benefits.

So I told them I was a writer Confused

Not a successful one or anything. But I told them that was my work.

It's not a total lie. Writing is the big one of my obsessions. I've got mountains (not an exaggeration) of files and usb's full of everything from little articles to a children's series of books I've written.

I've just never sent them anywhere.

But in true obsessional fashion I am now trying to figure out if I've made a complete idiot of myself and should send dh from now on.

Or front it out because it's only a sort of half lie. Grin

OP posts:
Lonelymummyof1 · 10/04/2017 19:50

This made me sort of smile.
We live in a middle / upper class area which we do not really belong and my daughter has started ballet classes.
I was dreading I mean dreading having to make small talk with the other parents.
Im at least a decade younger and my pay no where near.
Manage to avoid all conversation about houses , employment and general stuff like that.

4 lesson one of the mums asked if I could reccomend an au pairs I felt rather chuffed that she could think in are area I could have one.
So I said yes !
Then asked on the local network page for one and sent her the number.

Brolis · 10/04/2017 20:29

You sound like a lovely Mum with a fabulous DD.

Please send you writing off. If you go the route of self publishing with Amazon you have a lot of excited and willing readers just from this thread. I would love to read your writing and I know my DC would too.

SaltySalt · 10/04/2017 20:35

I'm in awe of anybody who writes as I love to read. Go ahead make the leap! 🙌

ilovesooty · 10/04/2017 20:41

What a lovely thread. You sound awesome.

BabychamSocialist · 10/04/2017 20:45

Don't worry about it - you are a writer!

Also, well done for getting out and going to a class - how brilliant for you! I hope you enjoyed it.

Personally, I have a friend who works as a cleaner but she tells everyone she's a singer. She's not lying - she does sing and it's her passion, and she does pubs and clubs sometimes, but it makes her feel happier to tell people she's a singer.

glenthebattleostrich · 10/04/2017 20:49

If you want someone to read your stuff OP feel free to send it to me. I love reading.

And don't worry, when my MIL talks about me she tells people i do a little bit of babysitting for pin money because i couldn't manage my little filing job after i had DD (I'm a childminder now having been a director's PA before DD).

TabascoToastie · 10/04/2017 21:06

You are a writer! Flowers

noitsnotme · 10/04/2017 21:12

Get it sent away! Take today as a sign and turn your worry into something positive. What do you have to lose?

lougle · 10/04/2017 21:16

You are a writer! And even if you weren't, you are ShamefulDodger, mother to miniDodger, which itself needs no qualification. Flowers

Carrados · 10/04/2017 21:19

It doesn't sound weird at all! There's loads of types of writers - marketing, content etc. They will just thing you write website pieces for a local insurance company or something Wink

harderandharder2breathe · 10/04/2017 21:25

ihopeyousteponapieceoflego I was an ice skater at size 20! With jumps and everything! Ok not triples but I could do some single jumps and I was good at spins!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 10/04/2017 21:34

Ya bleeding muppet! 😂 You worry FAR too much about what everyone else is thinking. When will you learn that we're all so wrapped up in our own lives & insecurities that despite how you feel, you come off as 'normal' as the rest of us, it's not necessarily A Good Thing though 😂

ShamefulDodger >>>> CreativeWriter xx

NotMyPenguin · 10/04/2017 21:48

I think it's a sign that you need to send off the children's series that your family wanted you to send off!!!

You write and you are a writer. It's lovely that you have described yourself as a writer publicly and I think it's an omen that you're ready to go :-)

Katie0705 · 10/04/2017 21:55

Shameful

I was disabled and an ashamed recluse that lives off benefits

Oh bless your heart! There is absolutely no shame in this for you whatsoever.

Get in touch with some publishers, they will give you details on how to present your manuscripts. Very best of luck..I bet you have written some lovely stuff too Flowers

Miniwookie · 10/04/2017 22:12

Haha Carrados I'm a writer - and it is mainly web content for a local insurance company :D OP you are a writer.

Marcipex · 10/04/2017 22:14

I'd also love to read some of it.

Yoksha · 11/04/2017 04:11

Your thread reminds me of my Dh old boss, but in reverse.

He was the CEO of a large multi-million IT company. He'd been a plumber back in the day. But, after a few years of the high life he got himself a p/t job as a plumber's mate. Ditched the Saville Row suits, & huge BMW, donned rags and walked a few streets to his job several times a week. He was hilarious.

Another example of wanting to appear normal. Grin

Original poster
ShamefulDodger · 11/04/2017 08:57

Thank you again everyone for all the help and suggestions.

I will definitely consider sending some of my mountain off, I'm half way through something at the minute though.

I should really get that sorted first, Dh is being driven mad by the notes spilling out of everywhere. He definitely want the bedroom wall back (I've got a huge map pinned up there with notes on too 😁)

OP posts:
ImLadybird · 11/04/2017 11:37

I can't be the only one wondering what treasures lie in these mountains of written work. I have a feeling deep in my bones that it's amazing.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/04/2017 11:59

I wouldn't dream of asking what someone does. If its someone unemployed and depressed over it.
It could tip them over the edge.
I was always told it was rude to ask questions
YANBU, BTW.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 11/04/2017 12:03

Well you are a writer aren't you? No problem and they're unlikely to interrogate question you further.

Even at the school gates I haven't a clue what other parents do. The only two I do know what they're doing is because they drop their DCs off in their uniforms.

Send some of your stuff off. You never know! When I was at uni a decade ago, I used to love books written by a certain author. No one had heard of them. Fastforward ten years later and the same author is now very popular.

ilovesushi · 12/04/2017 10:26

You're fine. It's interesting that that's what popped out when you were asked. It's your subconscious telling you what you should be doing/ want to do. Go with it. Hope your dd enjoys the classes and you enjoy being a dance mum! x

Craigie · 12/04/2017 10:26

Don't worry another second about it. I've got a couple of school mum friends who are artists. One does it for a living, sells her stuff, and is quite well known in the area, the other just does it for herself & has occasionally painted gifts for friends. I've never distinguished between the two of them, as if one is a "proper" artist and the other isn't.

pollymere · 12/04/2017 10:29

Someone I went to school with is a writer. Dreadful poetry that is published privately. Yet she is still a writer. Maybe send stuff off, or just enjoy writing. I have now found a job that fits in with a similar lifestyle issue but actually I used to get fed up explaining myself, or having people looking at me as if I was rolling in money if I said SAHM. It's usually a lose-lose anyway.

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