To have just lied to other parents about what I do?

[ShamefulDodger]

Inspired by a recent thread on here about loneliness I decided I didn't want dd to end up like me (I'm essentially an autistic hermit) so enrolled her on a dance class.

We had our first lesson today and actually it went really well. Dd had a shaky start but then went off to dance happily with the other children.

It was a very proud moment.

I even managed to hold a conversation with a group of parents without appearing too odd. (I hope)

But...the inevitable question of 'what do you do?' came up.

I thought I was 'blending' in quite well, so didn't really want to announce that actually I was disabled and an ashamed recluse that lives off benefits.

So I told them I was a writer

Not a successful one or anything. But I told them that was my work.

It's not a total lie. Writing is the big one of my obsessions. I've got mountains (not an exaggeration) of files and usb's full of everything from little articles to a children's series of books I've written.

I've just never sent them anywhere.

But in true obsessional fashion I am now trying to figure out if I've made a complete idiot of myself and should send dh from now on.

Or front it out because it's only a sort of half lie.

[ChampagneTastes]

That's sort of the opposite problem to me - I'm trying to be a writer but feel really stupid saying it out loud to other people. You are way more qualified than me.

[harderandharder2breathe]

You didn't say anything that wasn't true. You never claimed to be JK Rowling! Just that you wrote. Which you do. So, truth!

And they'll likely have forgotten by now anyway!

Glad DD had fun

[YokoReturns]

Send them off OP! I bet they're brilliant and you're just modest. Nothing ventured etc etc...

[QueenMortifauxcado]

I second amazon. Its dead easy and it's pretty much like leaving it sitting around except there's a chance someone will buy it

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

You definitely didn't lie, its true and a really interesting answer. I would love to be a writer like you but never get my act together enough to actually get anything finished.

[TiggyD]

You'll never know...

[Rufus27]

Not an issue. I don't think you've lied. After all, you can be a runner while still not entering a marathon.

[ShamefulDodger]

Oh I like the 'unappreciated genius' one!

Do I get to sigh a lot? Maybe gaze mournfully off in to the distance tapping a pen on my lip?

I wouldn't even know where to start. I can't even see to the back of the attic, or the spare room...or the shed.

Maybe I should start by getting it all 'digital'

[corruptcat]

My daughter has ASD. She reads books for hours, she also loves to write.
She would love to be an author. I'd love to read your books if you are as creative as she is, send them!

[Trb17]

They asked what you "do" not how you get money, so you told the truth.

Definitely send your DD back. If they ever ask for more info just tell them you've never been lucky enough to be published "yet"

[margaritasbythesea]

I have a friend who is an artist and has been for twenty years. It has never ocurred to me that she is not a proper artist because she doesn't like to sell her work. She makes art, all the time, in a very disciplined way - therefore she is an artist.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Aww Shameful, I love your thread. You are a Writer.
Get yourself The Writer and Artists Year Book, enter some competitions, you'll love it.
You have done your daughter proud my Lovely. 💐

[IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece]

You ARE a writer!! Send them off! What have you got to lose!





I once had the same conversation with some and told them I was an ice skater....a fucking ice skater....she looked shocked and said "with all the jumps?!" So what did I say? "Oh yeah!"

I've absolutely no idea why I said it....even now it makes me go as to what possessed me! I didn't even intentionally lie, it just came out!

I'm a size 26 and very clearly not a leaping, pirouetting fucking ice skater!! I lived in fear of seeing her again!

[ShamefulDodger]

corruptcat that's great! I've found it to be a very relaxing hobby/obsession throughout the years.

My DM always wanted me to write, she always enjoys reading what I've done.

Apparently she still bores anyone to tears that will listen with the stories of the certificates etc. I won. And a comedy play I wrote that the school put on.

I'm hoping dd gets in to reading/writing too. I've found it can be quite an effective way of 'shutting down' when it all gets a bit too much.

[ShamefulDodger]

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece that's brilliant! 😂

I could never pass for an ice skater, far too clumsy.

And thank you again everyone.

Isn't it strange? It's such a massive confidence booster to think 'I'm a writer' instead of 'I'm jobless'.

[weddingopinionsplease]

Another who agrees you didn't lie, you are a writer! You need some confidence in yourself OP (I mean that nicely!)

[WorknameJimEllis]

If someone tells me they are a writer, I would assume they would be unpublished, because a published writer will TELL you!

And there's no shame in not being published.

Also, if you want another way to describe yourself, I have a good (and very young looking) friend in her 20s who has chronic disabilities and cannot work, she says she's retired if asked. Always gets a laugh, in a nice way.

[Hidingtonothing]

Writing aside (and I would have been impressed, published or not!) I think you were really brave to put yourself so far outside your comfort zone for DD by taking her to the class. It's something I'm currently trying to pluck up the courage to do and it helps knowing others are conquering their social anxiety, maybe there is hope for me after all

[PoorYorick]

Even most published writers don't earn enough to live on from their novels/plays etc and have some sort of day job.

But don't send your stuff to a publisher, OP....send it to an agent first. (Reading fees are worth it.) Better chances :) Good luck!

[intheknickersoftime]

This thread is kind of awesome I think most of us have answers about what we do and not what we are. I think we should all think about that more. And you have!

[ShoesHaveSouls]

I know at least 3 writers amongst school-mum friends OP - I think one occasionally gets a short story publlished in women's (trashy) magazines, another used to be a journalist and has written and self-published a book, and one I think just does some sort of blog.

You totally are a writer

[ollieplimsoles]

Send your books out!

[ShamefulDodger]

Thank you Hidingtonothing, dd put me to shame though really.

It was quite amazing to watch. She didn't get things right every time (socially) but she kept going anyway and it paid off.

I'll just copy her

I'm very glad we went, and we will definitely be going back every week now (well, after Easter when they start again)

[Zaberwocky]

Of course you didn't lie

As others have mentioned, it's because they're interested in you! And if they're anything like me they'll want to ask all sorts of questions about what your currently writing, what genre, about characters and you may even find they write a bit themselves! You could end up with a fab couple of people willing to give constructive criticism, proof read and bounce ideas off

To be honest OP, good for you for putting yourself out there. It's bloody terrifying telling strangers about yourself most of the time!