To feel like the biggest slag in the world?

[shouldbeashamed]

Before I met DH I put it about a bit to the tune of 50+ sexual partners. When I go into my local town I often see past conquests.

Today I am at a holiday park 60+ miles away and see someone I shagged 10 ish years ago.

AIBU to feel like the biggest slag in the world? FYI I am female.

Why do you want to know how many sexual partners other people have had ?

You weren't a slag you were a stud... (why should men get the applause for multiple partners and not women?) you were enjoying yourself (I assume) and exploring your sexuality and the freedoms associated with growing up in a society where women should be able to do this without being labelled a slag or a slut.

I've had more than you. But I wasn't doing it to make myself feel better or to numb the pain or because I was a bad girl. I just liked having sex. Consequently I have no guilt whatsoever, just lots of slightly blurry happy memories.

Please stop using the word slag.

Stop being such a dick to yourself.

Also I reckon I've slept with more people than you I've no idea the number though so can't be sure. It's not something I'm proud of, but also I'm not ashamed.

I've seen people I've shagged in all sorts of unexpected places. If I see someone I vaguely recognise, my first thought it that I've probably had sex with them

You "put it about a bit" - that's so self negating and de-personalisingly reductive ... like a woman is only her "it". You did what you chose to do - I hope. That's it, simple as. Your body, your Self, your choice.

Scooby me too. I had fun!! But sex with DH trumps all of them.

I'm not sure of the number

Would a man care?
Nope
Therefore should you care?
Nope

I'm not trollhunting (as you can see, I have reported this thread) but I would counsel all posters to be cautious about talking about their own experiences, espec with a poster who is a) not posting in the sex topic, and b) has moved quickly on from talking about "conquests" and "feeling like a slag" to asking how many people everyone else has slept with.

How dare you have a past. You naughty women.
I've never said this before, but Honestly get a grip.
Or have you just started this thread to boast about your 50 conquests.

Jeez. You shopped around a bit and when you found the right one you stopped shopping and took it home to cherish. Who cares?

Not sure why reported or why I can't post in AIBU

It's been reported because some people think you've made this up to get off on strangers talking about how many people they've had sex with.

Tbh I think having had 50 different men is quite shameful personally, however I don't think you should feel bad beaus you bumped into a ex partner.

It's unfortunate that society and culture primes women to be sexually available to men, then brands them "slags" when they are.

It's an awful, shaming word.

50 isn't a large number at all. What's wrong with enjoying sex with new partners? It's fun.

Frankly, 500 isn't that hard a figure to imagine, either. Pulling a different guy even week for ten years?

I'm sure I'll get flamed, but I really don't think 50 is a large number. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex with different partners.

Ditto, tigermoll. Doesn't quite sit right.

Nah. I am in the same boat, used to feel the same. The problem is that if you're not actually getting pleasure out of it at the time because it's a desperate search for love or to fill a hole (ahem) it's hard to look back at it as just a 'fun time' and the memories make you feel unpleasant because it was unpleasant and often I was being used by people with little regard or respect for me. But TBH I just look at it all as a huge learning experience which has made me the wise old trout in the ways of teh menz that I am.

Me and DH have been together for over a decade and never had the convo about numbers.

I think we are both convinced the other would be shocked by the sheer amount

Honestly don't give in to old fashioned sexism,I so wish I had had more sexual partners,was so uptight and had issues about sex in teens/ 20s,started to get into it early 30s but then met partner and had kids,if I could go back I'd have had lots of sex 😉

It's 2017...

Ohh ffs.

PLEASE STOP SAYING SLAG.
It is a fucking horrible word, and is never applied to men.

Even if you aren't real, this is to everyone who seems to think that lots of sexual partners if you are female is something to be ashamed of.
IT IS NOT!

I have had well over 100 sexual partners when single, I have been in a happily monogamous relationship for 8 years. Male DP has "only" slept with 15ish partners.
He gets the vast benefit of my sexual experience.

I am not ashamed of my sexual history, I am proud that I spent time exploring myself and my kinks/likes/dislikes.

It's 2017 ffs, if you are happy, and safe, it doesn't matter at all whether you have slept with 1, 100 or 10000 people, or whether you are male or female, all that matters is that you live the life that works for you.

Don't beat yourself up about what you did in the past. I slept with more people than you before I met dh but we've been together for 12 years and I've been completely faithful.
I was a different person then young, free and single. Do I regret some of my conquests? Yep but I also don't regret a lot of them too.
I had a lot of fun

Billsykes there's a touch of that mixed in there yes, I was looking for love really but doing it the wrong way round

I don't regret them really, to the point where I spend lots of time thinking about it, just sometimes think I've had the most sexual partners out of anyone I know but obviously that is an assumption and not the case as I can see here

I am not getting any "kick" out of someone else's number of partners, was just merely wanting to compare so please don't write a number

Flowery DH has only ever had one sexual partner before me but we have never discussed mine, partly because he's never asked and partly because I've never offered the info