to ask if there's anyone else who has never met a trans-person?

[manicinsomniac]

I have never (knowingly) met a trans person. I have no trans friends or acquaintances. I have never (in 11 years) taught a trans child. I have no friends whose children are non binary, trans or gender queer.

I'm not a recluse. I know 100s of people.

The prevalence of trans threads on mn baffles me. I know they're important issues. I find many things about the trans agenda very concerning. But I just struggle to believe it is as common and pervasive as reported. I've seen posters refer to ' all my trans friends' , there are several non binary children in dd's school', 'I know loads of trans people' and things like that.

Is there anyone else who, whatever their opinion on the apparent 'trend/craze' just does not see it in their every day lives - at all?

Yes half the group of lesbian friends I had are now FtT. Most other lesbians I know of are, or have been, in a relationship with a FtT person, sometimes feel I am a rarity - a lesbian married to another lesbian!

What'sLove that is really interesting. Do you know those who have transitioned well enough to know why they chose to do that? Did they always feel that being a lesbian woman wasn't 'right' for them somehow or was it a sudden decision?

Completely OT but, until 2013, an entire year group of children at my children's school were called 'trannies'. They were the ;transitional' year between infants and juniors (they were actually year 3 so I have no idea why they were seen as not yet being juniors - traditional independent school thing, I think). So my oldest daughter was a 'trannie' for a year. But it had changed before my middle daughter got to year 3.

It's not a term I would use for anybody anywhere on the trans spectrum though, it seems unpleasant.

I know lots. 3 MTT who transitioned late. 2 MTT who transitioned as late teens/early twenties. 2 males who ID as NB. 3 females who vacillitate between NB and FTT. Two have autism that I know. They are talking about getting hormones and binders. Mid twenties.

All have issues. The older MTT are quite odd and take offence very easily. The younger ones are heavily into transactivism and get fawned over. The females are very damaged. The male NB cried and stormed out of a party after I asked him why we needed more gender boxes instead of saying men and women can be what they want?

I knew a transwoman about 10 years ago. I didn't realise for a long time until she told me that she had transitioned from male to female. Lovely lady, I lost touch with her when we moved away but have thought about her a few times recently. I hope she's happy as she was struggling a bit when I knew her. Her family weren't able to accept her new identity.

I worked briefly with a transwoman - far from passing but living full time "in role" .
I had an acquaintance once many years ago who is MtT; I'd say she passes - or passed well enough back then - but it was widely known in our social circle that she was born male.
My closest friend was in a long term relationship with someone I'd then have described as a transvestite. No idea how he currently describes himself or to what
extent he may have further transitioned.
He does not pass.
Their relationship ended due to his cross dressing and the demands that he put on her to validate his alter ego (there was also a fuck of a lot of stimulant class A drug abuse).

So that's three for me, who I've actually known.

One or two others I've encountered: including once helping Lauren Harries choose frocks.
Lauren wanted a discount, in a charity shop.

I have met several. Mostly because of attending conferences like FIL, or the women's equality commission consultation.

I know four. One is very involved in environmental issues and community work. She wears jeans, t shirts and sensible shoes, with a colourful scarf or cardigan, minimal make up, and it took me ages to realise she was born male. No idea when she transitioned. I think she passes easily as female, maybe not particularly appearance wise, but the way she chats about her cats, or her garden and the way she seems to take a genuine interest in people.

I know 2 men who are living as female, I have no idea what their plans are or whether they even have any, for operations to make it permanent. None of my business and they've never mentioned it. I have very little interest in how others live their lives, not sure if that makes me tolerant or just uncaring, lol

I wish people could tell the difference between concern for women's spaces, women's sports and young people being medicated and sterilised and HATE and BIGOTRY

Thanks Mrs Pratchett, always with the mots juste

But you can't "decide" to change sex surely?
Even with surgery/wearing different clothes- you still remain the sex you are born with.

Would you use an offensive word to someone who has experience of that word being used against them

Seems to be acceptable as far as "cis" is concerned...

Off the top of my head I know two, a Mtt and ftt in a couple. He is a loud, misogynistic wanker and she is a browbeaten housewife type, and neither of them pass.

My cousin has been trans since 15 or so. Born F, was very girly and loved makeup and dresses and boys. Then at 15 a switch flipped and she became very overweight, started dressing in massive lumberjack shirts and jeans and saying she was a lesbian, although she never had a girlfriend. At 16 she wanted to be M and asked us all to change her name etc.

At 19 she's living with her boyfriend, a straight man, but still claims to be trans and to be a he. No aim to start hormonal treatment or anything like that.

I must admit that his/her situation confuses me. It's like that blur song - girls who do boys like they're boys who do girls...

apple- your cousin is still female.

beyond

Were they like that when they met? Were they already mtt and ftt?

Ah skerry - but you should try saying that - it does NOT go down well. Cousin won't speak to either parent or stepfather as a consequence

I've volunteered with GLBT organisations since about 2005 so I have a particular perspective.

All a bit hmm to me although I do think it's rather appropriating of the experience of actual gay people since she is essentially a straight girl with a boyfriend.

The trans unbrella is getting rather massive these days and seems to cover mildly gender nonconforming teens.

Yes, I very much agree with this. A woman who decides to reject gendered pronounces for political reasons (to avoid all the shit women are subject to in our society) is perfectly entitled to do so but it's not comparable to an actual GLBT person.

Rufus, I haven't quizzed them in great detail, I didn't know them then - but I do believe the Mtt had began transition but the completion is relatively recent, whereas the ftt had not began, their transition is more recent.

I am i a bit twisted to find that worrying

In that the ftt you say is a bit brow beaten

Anyway its obviously none of my business so i will shut up

I know what you mean, Rufus

I know a few. Sadly, I seem to come across the TRA types (MtT) more than anything - and they are truly scary. My honest view is that many are in it all simply because they want an excuse to be acceptably misogynistic.

Back in the 70s and 80s, hell even 90s, it was fine to call drag artists the T word. Grayson Perry uses the T word. I don't, because I try not to use words that upset people (unless I want to upset them, coff), but I do think back to those days with some fondness because the T word was often a term of endearment.

BTW - any lurking TRAs - I find 'cis' as offensive as you find the 'T word'. I'd appreciate it if my politeness in not using the T word was returned in kind, thank you very much.

None.

I have never knowingly met a transperson. I don't remember any boys at school identifying as girls or vice-versa, I didn't meet any transgender people at university, I've never met any at work, in flatshares, or in any of the groups I've belonged to or holidays I've been on. I certainly haven't met any in the medium-sized town where I live.

I don't know if I have, don't care either, stop with the labels, just confuses the issue and we all tie ourselves up in knots wasting a whole heap of time trying to say the right thing.

we're all people - or is there some other group I would be offending by saying that - I never bloomin know nowadays.

Hi other Beyond!