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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask if there's anyone else who has never met a trans-person?

251 replies

manicinsomniac · 09/04/2017 16:28

I have never (knowingly) met a trans person. I have no trans friends or acquaintances. I have never (in 11 years) taught a trans child. I have no friends whose children are non binary, trans or gender queer.

I'm not a recluse. I know 100s of people.

The prevalence of trans threads on mn baffles me. I know they're important issues. I find many things about the trans agenda very concerning. But I just struggle to believe it is as common and pervasive as reported. I've seen posters refer to ' all my trans friends' , there are several non binary children in dd's school', 'I know loads of trans people' and things like that.

Is there anyone else who, whatever their opinion on the apparent 'trend/craze' just does not see it in their every day lives - at all?

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 09/04/2017 17:40

One person. Female to male. In early stages of transition.

Does not remotely fit with the idea that ftm are lesbians who are being made uncomfortable about their sexuality.This person is heterosexual ( in the sense their sexual preference as a woman is heterosexual men). Was brought up in a household fully accepting of and supporting her in tharcshe never liked traditional girly things.

GoldenWorld · 09/04/2017 17:41

I live in London and have never knowingly met a trans person.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 09/04/2017 17:43

I am really surprised that anyone has not met a Trans person, if they live in Britain, and don't live in a tiny village or island

I live in Edinburgh and knowingly have met one. I know of an Edinburgh solicitor who transitioned years ago (mtf) but I never met her.

5moreminutes · 09/04/2017 17:43

I suppose there is also the fact that meeting people in passing barely registers sometimes, and some people are mentioning people they have merely seen in public, where others wouldn't include people they've only seen, not been introduced to / talked to.

I'd bet we've all seen men wearing women's clothes - every man who has ever played rugby has done a bar crawl in lipstick and lingerie haven't they? And there are eccentric men conspicuously wearing stereotypically female clothes in most towns, often well known in the town - they aren't exactly transgender are they?

If you met a female to male transgender person briefly in passing you presumably wouldn't know they identified as male unless they introduced themselves by a male name - and not even then as lots of people give girls male names anyway these days...

As for knowing anyone trans - how many people do most people really know, as opposed to being very vaguely acquainted with? If it's say a couple of hundred then it's very likely indeed a representative of the suggested 0.3% of the population doesn't fall into that number, and I'd actually guess that a lot of people really, know less than 100 others.

rosy71 · 09/04/2017 17:43

I have never met a trans person to my knowledge.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 09/04/2017 17:49

I personally know two MtT trans-people. I have seen others out and about in town though , all MtT as unlike FtT they can't really pass.

VestalVirgin · 09/04/2017 17:49

As for knowing anyone trans - how many people do most people really know, as opposed to being very vaguely acquainted with? If it's say a couple of hundred then it's very likely indeed a representative of the suggested 0.3% of the population doesn't fall into that number, and I'd actually guess that a lot of people really, know less than 100 others.

This 0.3% number is from before males could get legal access to women's spaces by just identifying in, was it?
I'd wager it is the number of people diagnosed as trans when this was merely a way for adult people to get surgery so they could feel better about their bodies, without getting in anyone else's way.

Pretty sure, by the definitions now used, there's a lot more trans than just 0.3%.

ohidoliketobebesidethecoast · 09/04/2017 17:50

I don't think I know anyone, but as others have said, you'd prob need to know a persons quite well for them to mention it?
I think teens are much more open and if they just decided they're trans, they perhaps are keen to talk about how they feel. For someone in their 30s who transitioned years ago, perhaps not so much?

brasty · 09/04/2017 17:51

5moreminutes Yes some are transgendered - not the Rugby blokes obviously. There is someone in my town who I know identifies as Trans. He looks like bald headed man, who wears a dress with trainers. Not all look like Paris Lees.

OhSoggyBiscuit · 09/04/2017 17:51

I think I have met a couple, doesn't bother me at all tbh.

harderandharder2breathe · 09/04/2017 17:52

I knew a Male to Female trans person at uni, but not close friends. When I first knew them they presented as a man who sometimes wore dresses, by the time I left uni they were presenting as female.

I work in a large office and no one that I know of is trans.

VestalVirgin · 09/04/2017 17:54

It has been made clear that it is a girls school for girls who are happy to have the female genitalia they were born with and who identify exclusively as girls.

That's demanding a bit much. Isn't it enough if they just don't identify as anything?

When I was a teen, I sure as hell wasn't happy to have female genitalia (in fact, still am not, in a misogynist world, it is pretty shit) and didn't identify as girl, either. I just was a girl, end of story.

That might sound nitpicky to you, but there's a difference between just accepting reality, and being happy about it.
(Though I suppose, girls going to an all-girls school might have an easier time being happy in their female bodies than those having to deal with teen boys on a daily basis ...)

Tobolsk · 09/04/2017 17:56

Never met one, I live in a rural area of the USA. To my knowledge there are no gay people either. It's a 100% white. I am the most "exotic" person here ( British)

reallyanotherone · 09/04/2017 17:57

In my childs sports club there is a 9 year old mtf trans child. Competing as a girl.

The child was living as female when they started the club, so i think many don't even realise, and won't until puberty kicks in (or doesn't if they use blockers).

wigglybeezer · 09/04/2017 17:58

I have met one, he was at playgroup with one of my kids, was painfully shy, as was his mother. As a teen he came out as MTT and transitioned with a lot of support from his school and family but unfortunately he took his own life at university. I don't know why, i can only guess that he had co- morbid mental health issues, in fact, knowing what i now know about ASD, due to family experience, i suspect he could have been on the spectrum, but i didn't know him well and so shouldn't really speculate. I think of him regularly ( i use male pronouns because i knew him when he was a little boy).

Sparklingbrook · 09/04/2017 18:00

I have met a few and I also have a relative.

Thinkingblonde · 09/04/2017 18:01

A neighbour of ours, male to female transexual. This was 1980. His parents were our immediate neighbours, he lived five doors up. Pre op he asked me if we'd take parcels in for him, could he put our names down for the couriers as he didn't want to use his parents address. If we took any parcels in he'd collect them under cover of darkness as he didn't want his parents to know.
The parcels contained women's clothing and shoes. Also make up an wigs. He struggled with the make up and wigs, I felt sorry for him so offered to give him some tips.
Post op she was much more confident as Brenda, she was lovely to me and I became her shoulder to cry on. She moved away as did we and we lost touch with each other.

blueskyinmarch · 09/04/2017 18:01

I know none at all. I have loads of friends and have worked as a social worker but still - none.

ScarletForYa · 09/04/2017 18:03

I've never met one.

Well actually I might have. A Thai beautician that did my eyebrows once, I could see the scar where the Adam's apple was removed.

Not sure if he was fully transitioned.

WonderMike · 09/04/2017 18:03

We had a transitioning teacher in the 1980s - except no one told the kids. We just thought she was a witch very strange and no one would talk about why it was so odd, but to a class of 10-11 year olds, it was all very strange. It wasn't just her appearance, she just had a desk in the corner of our classroom and got into barneys with our very normal, kind, quiet teacher who was still in charge of the class.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/04/2017 18:07

My neighbour's 14 yr old daughter who I've known since she was tiny is now living as a boy, there have been significant MH issues.

Sallysadlyseescertainty · 09/04/2017 18:07

Yes, I've met a transwomen and he's not fully transitioned.

LordTrash · 09/04/2017 18:08

I've met a transman - known him for years and years actually.

But oddly - given how MUCH more vocal they are on social media - never a transwoman. Mind you, I don't get out much.

VestalVirgin · 09/04/2017 18:08

I don't think I know anyone, but as others have said, you'd prob need to know a persons quite well for them to mention it?

I am quite sure I don't know as in "have often talked to" anyone trans.

The few MtT I have met as in "seen at an event" were all unusually tall for women, had visible adam's apples, etc. And those were rather young, androgynous looking males.

I "know" as in "have talked to" exactly three men who were short enough to be transmen of average female height. They all were very obviously male in every other aspect.

All the very tall women I know look very female, sound very female, and with some of them I have talked about menstruations and/or know that they take the pill.

If I know anyone trans, then that person coincidentally falls into the normal height category for their identified sex, AND has a face AND a voice that happens to pass very well.

Lules · 09/04/2017 18:13

I have no friends or acquaintances who are trans (that I know of), although my husband has an ex who is trans and is now married to another transwoman. We did have gender neutral toilets at my old work so there must have been demand for them from staff or students.