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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if there's anyone else who has never met a trans-person?

251 replies

manicinsomniac · 09/04/2017 16:28

I have never (knowingly) met a trans person. I have no trans friends or acquaintances. I have never (in 11 years) taught a trans child. I have no friends whose children are non binary, trans or gender queer.

I'm not a recluse. I know 100s of people.

The prevalence of trans threads on mn baffles me. I know they're important issues. I find many things about the trans agenda very concerning. But I just struggle to believe it is as common and pervasive as reported. I've seen posters refer to ' all my trans friends' , there are several non binary children in dd's school', 'I know loads of trans people' and things like that.

Is there anyone else who, whatever their opinion on the apparent 'trend/craze' just does not see it in their every day lives - at all?

OP posts:

WaitrosePigeon · 09/04/2017 17:24

One. Very obviously a man though so it's a bit awkward. She's nice though.

Justanothernameonthepage · 09/04/2017 17:24

I work on a site with 800 workers. We have two trans women (at different stages, one of whom was over 60 when they came out). I also know of one transwoman who is a friend's teenage daughter.

brasty · 09/04/2017 17:24

I am really surprised that anyone has not met a Trans person, if they live in Britain, and don't live in a tiny village or island.

Billybonkers76 · 09/04/2017 17:25

There is a person I come into contact with through my job. He wears a dress, a floppy summer hat and wears some makeup but he is a man. Talks like a man, walks like a man but uses the women's toilets. He's tidy enough, I don't think he wants to be a woman, he just likes wearing women's clothes.

lizzieoak · 09/04/2017 17:25

That's not counting the men who are quite clearly male who cross dress who I see around the city. That's not uncommon in a large city I wouldn't have thought.

LillyLollyLandy · 09/04/2017 17:26

I work in the city of London and live in central London. I've never met a trans person.

ShatnersBassoon · 09/04/2017 17:27

None, I think.

Rainybo · 09/04/2017 17:27

Yes, I have met many trans people over the course of my life. I actively support LGBT+ causes and do not buy the whole 'men accessing women's spaces' outrage, I find it to be bigoted.

DixieNormas · 09/04/2017 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maudlinmaud · 09/04/2017 17:28

Nope. Wouldn't care if I did. Live and let live.

skerrywind · 09/04/2017 17:28

How can you switch sex?

Genuine question.

Sofabitch · 09/04/2017 17:28

Because you havent knowingly met a trans person doesnt mean you haven't.

I know several. Some I only know bevause they felt sage to tell me...have you ever thought people dont feel safe to tell you Op

SymphonyofShadows · 09/04/2017 17:29

I have a friend who has liked to sometimes dress as a woman for years. He has no wish to transition as he is a man (a big, beardy, gruff one) at all other times. A female child (aged 10) of my acquaintance has recently started identifying as a boy, that saddens me as it really is all about the mother and her need to be noticed.

Birdsgottaf1y · 09/04/2017 17:30

My DD went to school with a Trans person.

She personally knows three. I went to Gay clubs regularly, so know more.

I've had in depth conversations with two of the Trans people that have been on Jeremy Kyle. I'd just bumbed into them and got talking. I've got both on my FB.

zen1 · 09/04/2017 17:30

I don't know anyone personally, but there are a couple of transwomen who work in shops local to me.

Original poster

manicinsomniac · 09/04/2017 17:31

headofthehives - oh yes, I know several vegetarians and a few bellringers!

I have no trans friends but do have lesbian and gay friends.

Yeah, see I can't even equate trans and gay on the same level of prevalence in the population. I know dozens of gay people (though far more men than women) but no trans. Approx 10% of people are homosexual aren't they? Whereas, as posted upthread, trans is apparently 0.3%.

OP posts:

brasty · 09/04/2017 17:32

I see Trans people, both female and male, all the time. And have met a number and am friends with one.
I don't understand how someone in London can never have met a Trans person.

emwithme · 09/04/2017 17:32

One MTT who transitioned years ago (met through DH, first time I saw this person was in a situation where no one was wearing modern clothes, and it wasn't unusual for a person to dress in the opposite clothing, but they clicked as "male bodied" straight away).

Three FTT friends who have all transitioned relatively recently. I do not think it is a coincidence that they are all on the autistic spectrum.

If I was a teenager now I think I'd be going down the trans (or non-binary at the very least) route. Female puberty sucks in order to get you used to everyday sexism especially when you want to be doing all the interesting stuff that boys do. Fortunately, my family, friends and school weren't telling me that just because I wanted to climb trees or shoot guns or wear trousers rather than dresses then obviously I was a boy. I was a girl who wanted to climb trees/shoot guns/wear trousers rather than dresses.

egosumquisum1 · 09/04/2017 17:32

Trans people are still unusual enough a sight to warrant being stared at by people. Followed by a nudge to the person next to them and a second glance.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 09/04/2017 17:35

I worked with a M to F trans person in my first job in 1985 and don't think I have met another since. And I live in London and have worked in the creative industries for most of my working life. I'm surprised it is so few.

PencilsInSpace · 09/04/2017 17:35

I know quite a few, I think it depends on where you live and the circles you move in.

I really hope that most of the people on MN haven't. I can't see how anyone who has been friends will this anyone going through the transition could be as filled with hatred as most of the people on here.

If you see hate filled posts you should report them. Being critical of an ideology that is harming women, children and the majority of trans people who are just trying to get by in life is not hatred.

Silvertap · 09/04/2017 17:36

I've never met one.

Original poster

manicinsomniac · 09/04/2017 17:36

brasty - I do live in a tiny village. But I spend a lot of time in cities.

sofabitch - I realise that I could have unknowingly met one or more. But that's irrelevant really because I'm expressing my surprise at the disparity between my experience and so many mn-ers. Nobody knows how many people they have unknowingly met! So other posters are talking about the people known to them. Which seem to be large numbers. Whereas mine is zero.

Bluntness - I know people exaggerate. But these posts seem genuine. And I don't know why people would make something like that up.

OP posts:

SomewhereNow · 09/04/2017 17:36

I live out in the sticks but not all that far from London where I spend a fair amount of time. I know 'of' a couple of people who are to some extent trans but I've never met anyone directly.

PencilsInSpace · 09/04/2017 17:36

I don't know any trans children, probably because my DC are now grown up so I don't know many children at all these days.

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