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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man look (light hearted!)

27 replies

mslevine86 · 09/04/2017 14:59

AIBU to feel I waste a hell of a lot of time helping my OH find things right in front of his nose? Example today 'i can't find my light coloured shorts' I knew full well where they were as I'd put them in a specific place in the wardrobe where all his shorts are. He had been in for a 'man look' and yep there they were, just happened to be hung over the rail instead of on a hangover Grin every morning I run up and downstairs to find his keys despite them being exactly where he left them but perhaps a couple of inches to the left. Is this normal? Smile I then get the blame for moving them even though he put them there!

OP posts:
RainbowJack · 09/04/2017 15:02

every morning I run up and downstairs to find his keys

It's call laziness. He does it because he knows you'll run around and do it for him.

More fool you.

I just shrug and tell him they must be where he left them and get on with what I'm doing.

LuxuryWoman2017 · 09/04/2017 15:05

I call this the man scan. I won't help anymore as I get asked where the icecream is or the strimmer, drives me mad. I usually reply 'in the loft obviously"

HecateAntaia · 09/04/2017 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Asmoto · 09/04/2017 15:11

Yes, mine is the same. If it's not in the first place he looks, he dances around saying 'I can't find it! Someone's moved it!" Drives me mad! If I can't find something, I just look for it quietly. YANBU.

Original poster
mslevine86 · 09/04/2017 15:13

I've tried to ignore him when he asks and he will look for it but he just can't seem to see things right in front of his face Grin I usually shout down possible locations and he will run round looking in them all but he just can't see them - I will go and he will be stood right in front of his keys without seeing them Hmm

OP posts:
HecateAntaia · 09/04/2017 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RainbowJack · 09/04/2017 15:22

but he just can't see them

Bullshit.

You think he tries that shit at work? No. Because he'd look incompetent.

DoorwayToNorway · 09/04/2017 15:22

We have a saying in our house "don't man look for it, really look for it". DH and teen DS drive me and DD insane.
Apparently there's a scientific explanation. Men have better long range vision. If they look directly at something close up they cannot see it or anything else, if you ask a man to look at your face and then describe something in the corner of his eye, without looking at it, he won't be able to it. He'll have to turn his head. It's fun. Me and dd tried it in on DH and DS. So women really do have preferial vision and eyes in the back of their head.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 09/04/2017 15:23

DS was looking in the fridge for some mayo yesterday, for egg mayo. Claimed there was none in the fridge. I asked DH to have a look in there for it because sometimes people put stuff on the top shelf, and DS and I is too small to check properly. He had a look and confirmed we were out of mayo.

Except when I looked in the fridge a minute later, to find something else for lunch, it was in the middle of the bottom shelf.

TheStoic · 09/04/2017 15:28

Some women love being able to do this for their husbands. It's makes them feel indispensable.

Other women have better things to do.

cricketballs · 09/04/2017 15:31

It is a definite condition - I call it the 'boy look' it happens at home (DH & 2 x DS) and at school where the might as well be looking at the sky for how much effort they put in Grin

LuxuryWoman2017 · 09/04/2017 15:37

They could find things if they looked properly, as Rainbowjack says so rightly at work they'd look incompetent.

Imagine "Scalpel! Has anyone seen the scalpel? it was here a minute ago" while performing life saving surgery?

SnookieSnooks · 09/04/2017 15:43

Sigh sigh sigggghhhh!

My DP can't be bothered to put anything away. I'm afraid these days my bad tempered answer is 'you would be able to find it if you'd put it away'

He usually just buys whatever it is again on Amazon Prime. Had to buy a new drill the other day because he couldn't find/couldn't be bothered to look for one of his!

LittleGreyMeow · 09/04/2017 15:52

Mine even does it in pubs, walk into a new pub, neither of us have ever been before as soon as we walk through the door

"Where the toilet"

Like I'm supposed to bloody know! It's actually a running joke now, to see who gets in first with it.

Same with things around the house, of course if he actually put these metal things with lenses on his eyes he might fair better, but he's always loosing them as well.

Apart from that he is pretty perfect, and I do have my own set of quirks, so I just roll my eyes a lot.

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/04/2017 15:59

Stopping running up and down stairs 'helping' him. All that does is effectively train him to ask you where anything is rather than look for it himself. As has been pointed out, he wouldn't pull this shit at work, there would be consequences to looking that incompetent. So give him consequences at home - leave him to his own devices.

There's a reason for my username. And I haven't had to say it years, because I trained DS to not treat me as his personal skivvy. I suggest you do the same.

acornsandnuts · 09/04/2017 16:01

Stop helping him.

FeelingSmurfy · 09/04/2017 23:17

Women can also have a man's look, but it's still called a man's look because majority wins Wink

I don't look when I know it's bloody obvious, I just tell whoever it is that they have had a man's look and now they need to have a woman's look. 9.9 times out of 10 it gets found. I don't know why they still all need reminding to have a woman's look, but at least it saves me going to look for stuff

Original poster
mslevine86 · 10/04/2017 00:44

Oh bloody hell when I said light hearted I meant it!! HmmConfused when I said I get the blame it's not said nastily, we both find it funny..... I'm sure he does it at work too but he's not got the sack yet Wink

Glad it's not just me ladies Grin I'm gonna tell him to have a woman look next time!!

OP posts:
FairyDogMother11 · 10/04/2017 00:51

We have this at work, believe me it's not just at home. "Where is X?" "In the fridge." "No it's not I checked" I open fridge "what's that then?"...repeat four to six times daily. I don't let them get away with it, mind you!

Renaissance2017 · 10/04/2017 00:58

There's no such thing as lighthearted on MN when there's a chance of laying into men!

AntiHop · 10/04/2017 01:01

My dp is the same. When he can't find something I tell him to look again with his vagina.

FeelingSmurfy · 10/04/2017 11:15

Shock I think it's kicking in! This morning we had "FeelingSmurfy, I can't find" looks at me and stops "I had a man look didn't I? I will go and have a woman's look", leaving me standing there Shock

DragonFly76 · 10/04/2017 11:36

We call it "looking with your bum" in my house, and if DP can't find some thing I'll say:" so were you looking at it like this again?" Turn around towards table/shelf, etc...and shake my bum at it. Then just reply, dunno where it is, probably where you left it... Grin

Meekonsandwich · 10/04/2017 14:26

Did you know that men and women actually use their vision differently, its a studied phenomenon,
Men tend to use tunnel vision to track down animals, women use their peripheral vision to sweep over a large area to gather food.
So yeah its annoying but there's a reason!

Meluzyna · 10/04/2017 14:34

"Apparently there's a scientific explanation. Men have better long range vision. If they look directly at something close up they cannot see it or anything else,"
Yeah, I read this somewhere - in hunter-gatherer societies men (the hunters) needed to be able to throw their spears straight at a moving bison / deer / woolly mamouth whereas women (the gatherers) needed to be able to remember where they'd seen that luscious patch of berries and also spot on the bush where the ripe berries were (peripheral vision).
In our family the relevant expression when pointing out to the male of the species that whatever they were looking for was actually in full view is "What's that, Scotch mist?".