Is she a clean freak?

[inspiredbutohsotired]

Currently living with my parents until DP and I can get a house sorted (we both have separate lets but have a baby due in august, long story!)

I'm almost 6 months pregnant and my mum likes me to help out with the housework - I'm more than happy to do this, obviously! I'm not complaining about having to help.

The issue is my partner thinks she's a clean freak/possible OCD etc. And is worried I'm doing too much and possibly enabling her.
Is this normal? How much do you clean?

Usual workload in our house:-
Dust whole house every day
Hoover whole house at least once per day
Wash towels, bathmats etc 3x per week
Deep clean bathrooms (including steam cleaning) 3x per week
Steam clean kitchen 2-4x per week
Clothes washing done on Tuesdays and Fridays

Might have forgotten stuff above but unsure. She does have some OCD tendencies like shoes have to be taken upstairs and put away as soon as you enter the house, guests shoes are placed into a shoe box in the hall. Also her clothes are arranged into seasons and colours in her room, I definitely find this a bit obsessive but also useful.

I've grown up with this and don't really find it abnormal, but my partner thinks she's overly clean and obsessively so.

Also for reference, my parents house is huge - 5 bedroom detached, with an acre garden and conservatory and outhouses so for example, to vacuum it takes about an hour, these aren't quick jobs.

Any input appreciated!

Yes, I think that is a highly unusual amount of cleaning and I bet you can't wait to move out to a place of your own! Good luck!

We have a cleaner for 3 hours per week and don't do any cleaning in between except for keeping the kitchen going and maybe a mid week clean of the loo.

So this household of 4 spends no more than 4 hours pw on cleaning and we are perfectly nice and respectable.

@fromwesttoeast everyone in my house has short hair, but even if you all have long hair, does so much really fall out daily?

My DM had OCD and had a number of treatments (including being hospitalised at least once). So I have some experience of it from the outside. I think the key is whether she can never vary her routine despite circumstances and/or whether in times of stress she needs to do more and it's never enough.
If she has it (and I can't tell from your post ) then she needs kindness and support. It's horribly debilitating.

I might be a slob but nobody lies on their bed dying and says "God I wish I had cleaned more"
I'm immunosuppressed and have never been ill from my house so I clean enough! But if it's a glorious day and the choice is Hoover or go and ride the horse, I'll ride every time.
If it looks dirty or dusty then I clean it, I don't have a routine because of working shifts

We do seem to lose a lot of hair - yes. Vacuum always has a lot of it inside. I know there is no point worrying about it.

What Hecate said. Also, do you think you're doing too much helping and is it exhausting you? You're the one who knows how your body feels and how much is too much for you. Are you cleaning bathrooms though? I don't think all the bleach fumes would be good for the baby.

PS, my DP and I are total slobs compared to a lot of people on this thread so I'm not going to comment on the level of cleaning! Suffice it to say that our flat has never been steam cleaned.

I'm quite uncomfortable with the word slob. Just as it's very rude to attack someone with OCD for the amount of cleaning they are compelled to do, it's very rude to insinuate someone is a slob because they don't do that amount.
The only time I'd pass comment on someone else's house is if any kids they had were at risk through lack of cleanliness. Other than that it's none of anyone's business.

I think that it matters most when one party insists on a ridiculous amount of cleaning is necessary and that others pitch in to help get it done at that level.

Conversly, those who won't do their share, because in their mind bathrooms only need cleaning monthly or whatever.

Obviously it is also a problem if it is due to OCD, which it certainly sounds like the OP's DM is suffering from - has she consulted her doctor about this?

My house is never clean enough but I do have ocd and since having treatment ive relaxed alot more on the cleaning and tidying and lining up and fluffing that I used to do.

People say its lovely but i can see what needs doing, the difference before treatment was that it ruled my life and i couldnt overcome not doing it and now the need to clean may flit in and out of my mind but is not ruling me. (Well most of the time its not)

Maybe the ops mum needs help if it is ruling her life and stopping her doing other things.