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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is she a clean freak?

110 replies

inspiredbutohsotired · 07/04/2017 14:25

Currently living with my parents until DP and I can get a house sorted (we both have separate lets but have a baby due in august, long story!)

I'm almost 6 months pregnant and my mum likes me to help out with the housework - I'm more than happy to do this, obviously! I'm not complaining about having to help.

The issue is my partner thinks she's a clean freak/possible OCD etc. And is worried I'm doing too much and possibly enabling her.
Is this normal? How much do you clean?

Usual workload in our house:-
Dust whole house every day
Hoover whole house at least once per day
Wash towels, bathmats etc 3x per week
Deep clean bathrooms (including steam cleaning) 3x per week
Steam clean kitchen 2-4x per week
Clothes washing done on Tuesdays and Fridays

Might have forgotten stuff above but unsure. She does have some OCD tendencies like shoes have to be taken upstairs and put away as soon as you enter the house, guests shoes are placed into a shoe box in the hall. Also her clothes are arranged into seasons and colours in her room, I definitely find this a bit obsessive but also useful.

I've grown up with this and don't really find it abnormal, but my partner thinks she's overly clean and obsessively so.

Also for reference, my parents house is huge - 5 bedroom detached, with an acre garden and conservatory and outhouses so for example, to vacuum it takes about an hour, these aren't quick jobs.

Any input appreciated!

OP posts:
ShotsFired · 07/04/2017 15:05

I'm quite intrigued by the supposed difference between cleaning a bathroom and deep cleaning it. Can someone enlighten me?

BarbaraofSeville · 07/04/2017 15:06

Clothes washing sounds reasonable but everything else is nuts.

Exactly how dirty does she think the place gets to need dusting and vacuuming every day? Once or twice a week at most is plenty for those tasks and everything else on the list as long as washing up and wiping down in the kitchen is done every day.

What is 'deep cleaning' a bathroom? It sounds like something that would be done once or twice a year not every other day.

If you've had your own place, how often did you do these things? Surely you saw that dusting and cleaning every day wasn't necessary?

kel1493 · 07/04/2017 15:06

I think that's a bit much personally.
I do a clean throughout once a week, this would be:
Clean both bathrooms (we have 2- 1 with bath, sink and toilet, 1 with walk in shower, sink and toilet). Dust and polish living room, dining room and bedrooms. Clean the kitchen- ie wipe down the front of cupboards and things like that. Also we do a full Hoover once a week as well as mop the kitchen floor (both bathrooms are carpeted).
Less often, we clean the inside of all windows (Window cleaner does outside), and do a deeper clean in the kitchen- ie inside of the fridge, oven, as well as the loft conversion- it's a proper room but it's not used much so it doesn't get a clean every week.
Of course daily we make sure the kitchen is kept clean, and shower and bath are rinsed out after each use. And if we need to run the Hoover round the living room and dining room so there's no little bits for our 19 month old to pick up then we do that whenever required.

CalonGoch · 07/04/2017 15:06

That's lovely, if it's her full time occupation and hobby. I'm very admiring of houses where everything is instantly tidied away and colour coded, but I can't say I ever feel particularly relaxed in them. remembers neat freak friend fidgeting and fidgeting and eventually demanding my coat so she could run a lint roller over it to 'get rid of those dog hairs'

Original poster
inspiredbutohsotired · 07/04/2017 15:09

Shotsfired she calls it 'deep cleaning' so we've always called it that, sorry! Grin
At my place I just give everything a wipe over with antibacterial wipes and bleach the toilet. My mum wipes everything down, bleaches, sprays and wipes with antibacterial stuff, then wipes again, then dusts over everything to make it sparkle. Then the mirrors, glass cabinets, shower and tiles are steam-cleaned. I don't know which is more normal! I'm probably quite lazy with mine but she does take over an hour per bathroom (We have 3)

OP posts:
WorriedAndCrazy · 07/04/2017 15:11

Polish at least 3 times per week
Hoover downstairs daily, upstairs weekly sometimes twice weekly
Kitchen worktops and sink cleaned probably twice a day
Bathroom gets a wipe around daily, proper clean a couple of times a week
Washing every day or every other day
The one thing I'm not great at keeping on top of is mopping but I only have a small kitchen and bathroom and it never gets left to be manky.

However, I'm currently not working so at home all day and nesting and craving cleaning product smells.

JaniceBattersby · 07/04/2017 15:13

It sounds utterly ridiculous to me. If it's just you three living there, how on earth can carpets need hoovering every day? There would be no dust left to settle so how can it need dusting so often?

Life's just too short. My house is pretty tidy considering I have four kids but I don't have four hours in the day to spend them cleaning. Imagine all the stuff she's missing out on just to have a spotless house.

Original poster
inspiredbutohsotired · 07/04/2017 15:14

Barbara my situation is a bit weird as I've always been in student accommodation or shared housing so we had a cleaner. I lived with two girls this year so I dusted and hoovered my room and hall once a week. I am quite picky about the kitchen and like it to be clean but to be honest I was hardly ever there - full time student and part time job, then weekends at my partner's in the city - so I never had much spare time to clean and only really used that house as a base for uni and work, not somewhere I'd call a home!

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 07/04/2017 15:14

It sounds exhausting! And I suspect quite a lot above average, so yes to the obsessive too. Think of the ways she could use all that time she's spending doing all this every day!!

Photograph · 07/04/2017 15:16

I'm quite intrigued by the supposed difference between cleaning a bathroom and deep cleaning it.

I am not sure, but I'd say cleaning bath/sink and floor are a quick clean. Cleaning all the walls, windows, bleach the grout, top of cupboards, behind radiators, descale shower head = deep clean

MrDacresEUSubsidy · 07/04/2017 15:19

Does she have anything else to fill her time with, or has the cleaning taken over to the extent that it's become her FT job?

The amount of cleaning she is doing is bonkers. Does she have time for anything else if she's spending 9 hours of her week just cleaning the bathrooms?!

SheSaidHeSaid · 07/04/2017 15:23

That seems excessive to me too.

I'm lazy though, I just get my cleaner to do proper cleans once a week and I keep it up with light cleaning in between. The kitchen is the only room I properly clean every day.

NanooCov · 07/04/2017 15:23

It doesn't really matter whether the cleaning is excessive or not. What matters is that you're comfortable saying to your mum if you don't feel up to helping.

Your OH's view on what is excessive or not or what your body is capable of is neither here nor there really.

Swissgemma · 07/04/2017 15:23

It seems like a lot to me. But it wouldn't to my mum who spends every morning "doing her jobs" her routine is pretty much your mum's!

I have a cleaner once a week. who does a damn fine job of everything. On a daily basis I/We:

Clean the kitchen after cooking (I open plan living it has to be super clean as it's basically in the lounge).

Run a cloth over the coffee table and dining table (because they are wood and the 20 month old is sticky!)

erm. a couple of times a week I may (or may not) wipe over sinks in the bathroom/loo - I shove toilet cleaner down the loo sporadically throughout the week.

we have a dogdog so depending on his state of hairiness and other small child related mess I may run a vacuum round between cleaner visits (but to be honest I regularly get to the day before an think ah what's the point!) (obviously big mess - like an entire bag of dog food upended by the two footed and four footed menaces acting in cahoots - will get a proper clean up).

Janeofalltrades1 · 07/04/2017 15:27

I think she's clean, but not compulsive and everyone else is just lazy 😂

IHeartDodo · 07/04/2017 15:34

Sounds like a lot to me, but it really depends how many of you are living there, how many pets etc.
We are 2 adults and 2 cats, and I hoover, clean the bathroom, and clean the kitchen floor once a week (possibly 10 days).
I never dust I just hoover everything :)

BarbaraofSeville · 07/04/2017 15:39

Jane How can it be lazy to not clean things that have been cleaned very recently and not had chance to get dirty?

It sounds like there is there are three adults in a large house. She's spending more time cleaning the bathrooms than time spent using them.

Such a waste of time and resources.

morningconstitutional2017 · 07/04/2017 15:48

She'd have a fit if she came to my house. Dusting is something that I ignore as much as possible and it's certainly not done every week, let alone daily.
I vacuum once a week and I have a very hairy cat. Kitchen and bathroom are clean and I don't believe you'd be in more danger of going down with the dreaded lurgy at my home than elsewhere. We're all different, aren't we?

Ladydepp · 07/04/2017 15:48

Sounds way beyond excessive to me. Surely she must spend several hours a day doing this, does she not have anything else to do?

I would be very worried about someone who did this much cleaning.

(How do you even dust every day, there's no time for the dust to settle surely....)

ArriettyClock1 · 07/04/2017 15:50

Deep cleaning sounds a bit labour intensive to me.

Our bathrooms get cleaned x2 per week. Showers, baths, sinks, loos, mirrors and floors. This is enough to me (and the cleaner does it 😁)

Kitchen is cleaned every day, ground floor is vacuumed daily - upstairs once per week when beds are changed.

Washing is done every day and towels approx every other day.

Stopyourhavering · 07/04/2017 15:54

That seems v excessive....Does your mother work outside the home?.... maybe she needs to use her energy elsewhere/ find a hobby

Katedotness1963 · 07/04/2017 15:55

I'm the only one who doesn't think it's that bad? It's a big house, I would imagine you have to keep on top of the cleaning.

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 07/04/2017 15:57

I hoover everyday but only because my kids leave a trail of bits wherever they go. Mop once a week. Dust once a week, everyday seems a bit excessive. I do clean my toilet everyday but I love me a clean toilet, rest of the bathroom once a week with antibac wipes in between if needed. I never go to bed unless my washing basket is empty so that's done everyday and towels washed after each use, bathmats once a week, bedding fortnightly. (Fortunately my 4yo is obsessed with hoovers and washing machines - a good day out for him is a visit to curries Grin so I get a lot of help off him)
It depends, is she one of those people who likes to be on the go all the time? She may be just trying to fill some time in the day. I'm on mat leave at the moment and being at home all day can be a drag.

Megatherium · 07/04/2017 15:58

Spending four hours a day in cleaning is a dreadful waste of time, especially given that it really can't get that dirty with only two or three adults living there. Deep cleaning happens around once a year in our house, and we're all of us perfectly healthy.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 07/04/2017 15:58

I thought I was going to read your OP and say "that sounds just like my mother!" but no. Yours is definitely more extreme.

Mine would clean once a week (I think) though wipe down the kitchen every day. Not sure about the bathroom and toilet, but probably just once a week. Hoover once or twice in that time too, maybe? Oh, and clean all the bed linen on a weekly basis too.

She was also a neat-freak. Apparently, when I was little, she would religiously dress my dolls at the end of each day before putting them away. Hates stuff "lying around", so would replace a book I was reading into the bookcase if I'd left it on the table by a chair in the lounge for later.

I'm...not so clean. Or tidy. I like a house to feel lived in, not show-home standard. If we have guests coming we'll tidy up, but if they just turn up they take us as they find us. Can't remember the last time I saw my desk (but sometime before Christmas) as DP keeps shifting stuff from elsewhere in the room onto it. I might tackle it this weekend, I might not.

DP does the washing up every day and will wipe down the cooker top daily, and and worktops that look messy. It's been a long time since I've moved everything off and cleaned thoroughly - that will get done tonight. The kitchen floor gets washed at the weekend, after the guineas have been there, and I usually hoover the house after I've cleaned their cage, but if I don't get round to it I'm not bothered. I attempt to clean the bathroom every week, but that usually turns into two or three weeks. No-one has died yet.