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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About curtains on hospital wards

203 replies

Bubbinsmakesthree · 06/04/2017 16:42

Currently on post-natal ward, baby in SCBU, recovering from c-section.

I don't mind leaving most of my dignity at the door, i don't mind partners and visitors on the ward.

But is it too much to ask to be allowed the bloody curtain around my bed to be closed?

Matronly midwife seems to have nothing better to do than insisting my curtains are open. Angry

OP posts:
BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 18:55

Sorry but "left in tears without dignity" - you should win an Oscar for that acting. It almost sounded serious.

Yes, some people have issues with leaving the curtain open, but the majority don't. Sorry, but we don't have enough nurses to go round checking everyone's OK behind their curtain.

And no, we shouldn't have private rooms for all either. It's a hospital - you're there to get well, it's not a hotel. The NHS simply can't afford to be run like a private hospital. Christ, you're sensitive. You should've tried being in hospital in the 60s and 70s when the matrons ran them like POW camps - you'd have soon toughened up and realised a curtain is a luxury!

BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 18:58

noeffingidea

What an apt username. It's not a case of the nurses being too lazy to do proper observations, it's the fact that there AREN'T ENOUGH NURSES and one nurse is doing the work of three people!

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 19:00

'If you've been in hospital lately you'll see how rushed off their feet nurses are so it is reasonable in my opinion curtains are opened for nurses ease. '

That's not the patients' fault and their privacy and dignity should not be compromised due to that. They cannot 'enforce' this, it's not a prison. You chose to go along with it rather than complain, but you're certainly well within your rights to do that or your partner on your behalf if you're too ill.

It's not an excuse for patients to be forced to give up their right to privacy and dignity.

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 07/04/2017 19:02

Better not get ill, people, and have your babies at home and don't you dare experience complications. We wouldn't want to inconvenience the nurses. Privacy? Dignity? Get over yourselves Hmm

Anybody remember that Yes Minister episode where the best hospital in the country was the one that didn't have any patients because it hadn't opened?? It ran smooth as silk!

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 19:03

'Sorry but "left in tears without dignity" - you should win an Oscar for that acting. It almost sounded serious.'

Wow, nice way to victim shame. Plenty of people are left in tears by this, women who may have been victims of sexual assault or abuse, women who come from a culture or religion where covering up is the norm.

It's not the 1960s or 70s. We're in 2017 now. We've actually evolved to realise one's personal autonomy and autonomy over their body is important.

Hmm
BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 19:04

No, it's not the patient's fault, but I don't see why you would kick up a fuss when you know it's not the nurse's fault either. Personally, I would do anything to make their life easier as it's a badly paid, thankless job that they do and they are being cut to the bone and vilified by this awful government.

BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 19:05

expatinscotland

It's not victim blaming. The vast majority of people are not shaking, crying or left with no dignity because a bloody curtain has been left open. If that is an issue for you, you should let the nurses know and they will try their best to accommodate you.

The vast majority of people will have no issues with the curtain being left open most of the day...

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 19:06

' I don't see why you would kick up a fuss when you know it's not the nurse's fault either.'

Um, because not everyone is you, plenty of women come from all different backgrounds and levels of comfort with exposure in such a case. Is it really that hard to understand Hmm?

Darbs76 · 07/04/2017 19:13

Well anyone who tried to argue the curtain rule during my admission didn't get far. To be honest there was an odd one or two people the rest could clearly see how busy the nurses are and respected that curtains open was a security reason. It's not enforced when patients are getting dressed and changed or speaking to doctors and there was 2 visitor rooms if patients were well enough to visit with family. It's a hospital at the end of the day with sick people. My first two weeks were on a shared sex high dependancy ward so zero privacy but I was to sick to be concerned about any privacy.

BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 19:20

expatinscotland

And not everybody is you either. You have to understand the NHS is stretched to capacity and we simply can't go wrapping people in cotton wool and making sure everything is unicorns and rainbows.

In my experience, anything private (like when I was in for something and my stitches burst) is done with the curtain pulled around. When my sister was in having her babies, the curtain was always shut for breast feeding, nappy changing and that kind of thing.

But if you're sat in bed reading, watching TV or just having a nap, I don't see why you need the curtain pulled round and in that situation, you should try to make the nurse's life a bit easier.

GahBuggerit · 07/04/2017 19:24

I kicked up a fuss because i wanted my curtains closed. That's all there is to it really. My wishes. As the patient

AFAIK there is no written rule, nothing to be signed, no contract, nothing that means people can be forced to keep their curtains open. It may be the wishes of the nurse or the bleeding Easter bunny, but if you want your curtains shut, do it. Complain if they disregard your basic request for privacy.

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 07/04/2017 19:26

How long until someone mentions snowflakes??

Headofthehive55 · 07/04/2017 19:30

Another time I had a baby and was in hospital, all the other women insisted on having their curtains closed. All day. So I effectively was trapped in a small space, and mine wasn't a window space, feeling claustrophobic. It was a highly unpleasent experience.

Original poster
Bubbinsmakesthree · 07/04/2017 19:31

Seems it's very much down to the individual midwives here - after yesterday's midwife being insistent at flinging them open at every opportunity today's keeps offering to close them for me!

Actually I think the answer is HCPs being a bit more aware of what's going on with their patients and what their needs are - today's midwife is aware that I'm trying to hand express and am also needing to have a bit of a sob every now and then so need a bit of privacy. Yesterday's was completely ignoring the fact I was a bleeding mess and unable to stand up.

OP posts:
BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 19:32

GahBuggerit

Yes, they're your wishes and the nurses are well within their rights to open them every time they go past.

You are not in a hotel - it's a hospital. You do have a right to privacy, but like I said, if you're only eating or watching telly, there's really no reason to have it closed.

When I was in last year I was on a ward with people who were having chemotherapy and were quite possibly dying in front of me. Frankly, if I'd have been wasting the nurse's time crying about curtains I'd want the nurse to give me a clip round the ear.

hazeyjane · 07/04/2017 19:38

I was in hospital for 6 weeks establishing chemotherapy, I had my curtains drawn, according to my wishes - I was often on my own with no visitors as dh had to work and we lived nearly 200 miles away. Everyone else had lots of visitors, and to be honest I couldn't be doing with people trying to be chatty because they felt sorry for me. I wanted to stick my headphones in, read, sleep and cry in privacy. I don't think I was asking too much.

ToadsforJustice · 07/04/2017 19:45

As a patient (and as a nurse myself), I would expect my wishes to be respected. If I want my curtains closed, they should stay closed. The doctors and nurses are there for my care. I am providing them with a job. I don't see why I'm inconveniencing them by keeping my curtains closed.

mypoordoggie · 07/04/2017 19:45

Well the reason to have them closed is because i wanted them closed.

And no crying, just a firm " I'm keeping the curtains around the bed i am in closed thankyou and if you keep opening them forcing me to get up when i should be getting as much rest as possible after my 3 day labour I'll take it further" did the trick nicely. No tears required.

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 19:48

Apparently you are, hazey, and should have been boxed about the ears for it. Hmm

We always had a private, en-suite room when DD1 was in for her chemo because it was myeloid leukaemia and the chemo annihilated her immune system, so it was mostly strict iso for us.

The whole unit was entirely private rooms with en-suites bar two semi-private rooms.

In the new hospital they're almost all private rooms now. I'm surprised it hasn't crumbled to the ground with not having curtains!

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 19:50

The day unit was a ward set up, but it was a day unit. She was never treated in there due to the protocol she was on.

Photograph · 07/04/2017 19:52

Sorry but "left in tears without dignity" - you should win an Oscar for that acting. It almost sounded serious.'

I hope you are not medical staff.

You are not going to make me ashamed. I had horrendous birth, I ended up with an emergency c-section, I was at my most vulnerable and I should have been given some respect. Who are you to decide that patients are to be treated like this. How dare you? It took me months to recover. It's disgusting to make anyone feel embarrassed, ashamed and small. If I had been able to stand up I would have closed the bloody curtains myself. Be careful what you wish for, you might end up on one of this communal wards and regret it. If you don't care about your privacy, that's your right. You are no-one to decide what is acceptable for other people. A hospital is not a social club, some of us want and need privacy.

Other countries do give respect and dignity to their patients. There's no valid reason to treat people like that.

Once again, before you misquote me, I am not talking about intensive care or A&E.

expatinscotland · 07/04/2017 19:55

Intensive care also has far stricter rules about visitors than post-natal units. We were in a side room with DD1 because she had no immune system, but when procedures had to be carried out on patients in the communal bays visitors were turfed out and we had to remain in the room. ICU also has 1:1 nursing so it really cannot be compared to post-natal units.

hazeyjane · 07/04/2017 20:02

There were only 2 private rooms on this ward, which was oncology, one of them had a celebrity patient, who needed privacy. After an horrendous 5 night stay on a quarantine ward (due to contracting a vile d+v bug which raged around the hospital) I was allowed to stay in this room for a weekend.....it was bliss.

I'm glad you got to spend time with your gorgeous girl in privacy, expat Flowers

Blossomdeary · 07/04/2017 20:05

There are, as others have said, sound reasons for keeping you in sight. If you bled to death behind your curtain, your family would probably sue the hospital.

Concentrate on the fact that you are alive and your new little one has been delivered safely and try not to dwell on the fact that hospital is not home.

Be glad that you are well enough to mind about this - if you were feeling truly grim you simply would not care!

Headofthehive55 · 07/04/2017 20:10

A side room is fine - at least you can look out if the window. It does affect others though if you have your curtains closed all the time. There was no day room, and I felt very trapped in a small bed space. It made it gloomy with no natural light (wasn't next to a window ) and oppressive. All the others closed their curtains so I was left in the middle with curtains round and across from me all day and night.