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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About curtains on hospital wards

203 replies

Bubbinsmakesthree · 06/04/2017 16:42

Currently on post-natal ward, baby in SCBU, recovering from c-section.

I don't mind leaving most of my dignity at the door, i don't mind partners and visitors on the ward.

But is it too much to ask to be allowed the bloody curtain around my bed to be closed?

Matronly midwife seems to have nothing better to do than insisting my curtains are open. Angry

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 06/04/2017 17:34

Ask if you can, at least, have the side curtains closed half-way. This should at least block you from the view of the beds next to you.

I know it's different here, but when my friends and were I giving birth (US, different areas, early then late 80s) we had semi-private rooms (2 beds side by side) and they only doubled up if there were more patients than rooms. A new mum was put next to me the morning I was being discharged from having DS2, but other than that I had my own room. I don't think I could handle being in a 'ward'.

reallybadidea · 06/04/2017 17:34

Newly built hospitals and private hospitals often have solely private rooms rather than cubicles/bays so I don't buy 'we have to be able to see you'.

MichaelSheensNextDW · 06/04/2017 17:35

^^This is why staff are bossy about curtain use.
However, you should be given all the assistance you need to get a shower without losing your dignity. If patients recovering from abdominal surgery on general wards were treated as many midwives treat post-section patients there would be outrage Sad

YouAndMeAreGoingToFallOut · 06/04/2017 17:35

When I was on the postnatal ward after my c-section last year they didn't seem to give a shit about the curtains. Mind you, I wouldn't have been impressed if they'd said they had to be open to give them line of sight - I was stuffed away in a corner and I don't think in three days any midwife voluntarily came within seeing distance. When they did turn up, they mostly had something else to bully me about to distract them from curtain placement. My personal favourite was the one who turned up at 3am to ask why my baby was crying, and who then accused me of lying about how much I'd been breastfeeding in the previous three hours.

It was a truly horrible experience being on a postnatal ward even with the curtains shut!

Cherrysoup · 06/04/2017 17:35

When I was in hospital, the girl next to me kept her curtains closed 24/7. It wasn't a maternity ward. I couldn't because I couldn't get up and I absolutely hated being on public view, with the moronic staring (great phrasing!) I feel your pain, op. Unless you're at risk of bleeding out, I think you're allowed privacy.

I fail completely to see the rationale of the pp saying its NHS and free for hospilsation. What is your (incorrect) point? We don't pay at point of service, therefore we should expose our lives whilst in hospital? That's ridiculous. Pretty sure the op pays her NI, which entitles her to use of the NHS. I haven't signed anything saying I'm not allowed privacy whilst hospitalised.

MichaelSheensNextDW · 06/04/2017 17:37

Solely private rooms and cubicles should increase the frequency of checking.
I have looked after women who have had emergency hysterectomies and sustained heart failure because of unwitnessed postnatal haemorrhage.

brickinitIam · 06/04/2017 17:39

I work on a children's ward and the curtains have to stay open unless there's something happening which affects the patient's privacy or dignity. We have to be able to see our patients.

I think there should be a rule that the curtains can be closed during visiting hours.
I think women don't mind other women, who are in the same boat, seeing them try to BF or trying to maintain dignity with open gowns and catheters..
It's the thought of the visitors seeing all this that is distressing to women.
It was to me, when I was on the maternity ward.

bangbangprettypretty · 06/04/2017 17:39

You're totally right OP, I came home from having DD two days ago and the lack of privacy was awful, in fact I mentioned it and have been asked to go back with my husband to talk to the hospital about my experience. Things like:
Being examined vaginally without being asked first during labour
Putting the electric bed up/down without warning me first during labour
Coming into my labour room and handing out advice without first explaining who they were
Leaving the curtains open when I was lying there with disposable knickers and maternity pads and people's OHs were in the ward and I was asleep having had morphine only to wake up and realise I'd been left like that without dignity.

So much of it comes down to lack of NHS resources (e.g. Needing to rush through rounds so easier not to introduce self) but I felt totally invisible during parts of my labour and aftercare. I am planning to go back in a few weeks to try to talk it through with staff at the suggestion of the midwife I spoke to; she said the execs need to hear what it feels like for patients when they are so under resourced.

AnoiseAnnoysanOyster · 06/04/2017 17:39

Surely it is the patient who gets to decide how much they want to be exposed to idle gaze not the staff!

Idle gaze, or you know checking to see if your child is still breathing. You'd be the first to complain if we didn't notice. Anyway it's not up to us, we get it in the neck from management if the curtains are closed for no reason.

WankingMonkey · 06/04/2017 17:40

If patients recovering from abdominal surgery on general wards were treated as many midwives treat post-section patients there would be outrage

Never had a section but I had a gallbladder removal that went wrong and resulted in large drains sticking out of me and a massive bile leak inside. It was torture. I was on a shitload of pain relief as I literally could do nothing but moan whenever I didn't have it. Anyway, on changeover the day after my op I got this new nurse who insisted I go in the shower. Told me to get up out of bed NOW and get a wash as I was filthy. Proceeded to shove me into the shower (drains and catheter still attached) then leave me. I had to keep hold of the drains else they ripped at my stomach. I had to keep hold of my pee bag as it hurt and kept getting caught on stuff. No way could i do my hair and that so I just wet it and pretended to her that I had done it. Shuffled back into my room. Stood for 5 minutes dripping as I couldn't towel dry myself, then got back into bed...she then came back and told me to get out of bed as being lazy would make my recovery slower!

Whats it like for people after sections? Hopefully not like that Sad

BalloonSlayer · 06/04/2017 17:41

expat my point is that she just happened to be passing and glanced over.

treaclesoda · 06/04/2017 17:42

Wanking it's pretty much exactly like that if you've had a c section. Sad Plus it's almost impossible to get pain relief.

expatinscotland · 06/04/2017 17:43

This isn't a children's ward, Anoise. Hmm

Crunchymum · 06/04/2017 17:44

We had this when DC1 was hospitalised. Curtains had to be open in day time hours. Although we had a window bed so it was so other patients could have some natural light. There were no other beds!!

Feel better soon OP.

noeffingidea · 06/04/2017 17:44

I was on a post natal ward 28 years ago. We were allowed to have our curtains closed for breastfeeding. I would never have breastfed in public so certainly wouldn't have done it on the ward. There seems to be this belief nowadays that everyone should be happy to breastfeed in public - well some people aren't.
You should also be allowed to have the curtains closed before you get out of bed and put your dressing gown on to go to the toilet or showers or whatever. Thats just good nursing practice. Well it was when I was a nurse. The patients dignity and privacy was paramount other than in a medical emergency of course. It certainly came before the needs of visitors.

Me624 · 06/04/2017 17:46

When I was on the ward after having DS the curtains in between the beds were closed at all times. They were left open at the end of the bed thoug unless you were having an examination or something. I was happy enough with that. The beds were staggered with the ones opposite so I couldn't really see into the cubicle of the women opposite and vice versa. Seems like a good compromise. No one is looking at you anyway. All the other mums and concerned with trying to feed their own babies, i certainly didn't look at anyone else, I was in such a daze after giving birth that I barely noticed whether anyone else was in the room or not!

Photograph · 06/04/2017 17:46

I don't buy the monitoring excuse either - we are not talking about intensive care and extreme cases. Respect for new mothers seem to exist in other countries, and the death rate is not higher (the rate of PND however seems A LOT lower from what I have read about some european countries, haven't done a research worldwide).

A dear friend of mine always has a guaranteed private room in our hospital, because her husband works there (different department). Funny enough, monitoring doesn't seem to be an issue for her.

expatinscotland · 06/04/2017 17:48

'Plus it's almost impossible to get pain relief.'

Oh, yeah, the lady next to me had a CS and was moaning in pain but they kept giving her paracetamol. Having had my 3rd, I was prepared for the level of 'care' you get in post-natal wards so brought my own paracetamol for afterbirth pains as even that wasn't forthcoming if you hadn't had a CS (I had stitches, too).

Frouby · 06/04/2017 17:48

Yanbu. I had the exact same arguement when I was post c section trying to establish bfing. Another womans visitor was sat 4ft away from me for 12 fucking hours and I was only in 24 hrs. And I couldn't even get out of bed the first 8 with being recovering from a c section.

Luckily when the shift changed the next lot of staff were better and just asked if it was ok to open the front about 2ft so she could peep around rather than keep rattling the curtains.

Laniakea · 06/04/2017 17:49

Wanking ... yeah it is pretty much exactly like that post section but with no pain relief & a newborn to care for (and a ward hotter than hell with three times the number of people (mothers, babies & visitors) that can comfortably fit into the space.

YNBU OP. I've had four sections - once straight into a private room
& three times into a ward. I kept my curtains closed the whole time. No fucking way would I have tolerated being gawped at. Best thing ime is to get up & moving asap & get home as soon as you can ... post natal wards are intolerable.

WankingMonkey · 06/04/2017 17:49

I was allowed my curtains closed all of the time if I wanted them closed. Which was helpful when attempting to establish breastfeeding as I swear my tits were just out all day.

Never got any notice when a nurse was coming though, would have been nice for them to say something before whipping back the curtain and giving the bloke visiting the lady opposite me an eyeful Grin

noeffingidea · 06/04/2017 17:50

wankingmonkey doesn't sound like very good care. You should have had assistance with your hygiene needs. As to getting back into bed - it's better to sit upright out of bed after surgery and to walk around, in order to prevent post op complications. However that should be explained to you.

expatinscotland · 06/04/2017 17:51

'No one is looking at you anyway.'

Plenty of women on here have shared experiences of being stared at by other women's visitors and even being told off by them for bfing.

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 06/04/2017 17:53

I was in the antenatal ward admitted with hyperemesis. Barely conscious, on a drip, wretching and throwing up most of the day. I would crawl out of the bed to close the curtains so the other people didn't have to put up with that. Yes the nurses were bossy and unpleasant about it. They found time to open the curtains 12 times a day but would ignore the bell when I called because the drip had come off my vein (ouch) or I needed another sick basin or just food and water Sad .

YANBU

Helpmegetthisoutmymind · 06/04/2017 17:54

Yanbu. I closed mine constantly.