5 year old who hurts family

[Pibplob]

Does anyone have a 5 ish year old with a spiteful temper? My daughter has started hitting out at us (her parents) and sibling. She gets really angry and overreacts to stuff and then gets violent. I fear it's getting worse. Today she has pinched me and left a huge bruise. I actually started crying it was so painful even though it's just a pinch. She is an angel at school and so I know she doesn't have a behaviour problem as she is choosing to be nasty at home. I feel I have to stamp this out now while she's little but anything I do she just screams and I have to think of the neighbours too. She is making things miserable and im not liking the school holidays much. Anyone else?

My daughter used to be a bit like this...Not violent but acting out and angelic at school. Turns out it was school. She seemed fine bar not wanting to go in initially, but was using all her emotional resilience to get through the day and had nothing left when she came home.

We withdrew her and she is a different child. She's been out over a year now.

But tbh, I would consider myself a failure of a parent if I had to resort to corporal punishment. I'd rather be their friend than be feared.

Can you link steppemum?

so we have autism or smacking available?

^She's five and her own mother calls her spiteful and nasty. Hardly
surprising she is having issues with that attitude.^

OMG - never come to my house. I've called mine brats, idiots, morons and I think I might have referred to DS as a little sh1t last night. I also feed, clothe, kiss, hug, (feed again), teach, remind and feed them again. Seriously, my kids are feeding machines.

Obviously, this is going to hurt the porcelain perfection of your perfect parenting techniques to know that parents are human, get upset and call their kids names or call out unpleasant behaviour.

You may want to lie down in the dark with some lavender until the urge to swoon passes.

You should stop that then, calling your children idiots and morons is not something to be proud of.
Hardly perfect parent realm not to do so. Some people seem to have epically low standards though.

No, I won't stop it. Here is the thing, they are happy, well fed, pleasant and intelligent kids (except when they are not) who know when they do stupid things, they get called morons.

I am sorry you cannot accept what you see as imperfection in other people. I advise you to stay indoors forever. It is probably safer for you there and the real world is a harsh place.

It's not about imperfections, but carry on being a dick to your kids if you like, no skin off my nose.

Sad for you that you think the world is a harsh place. I don't find it so. Perhaps you need an attitude adjustment.

How much reward does she get for good behaviour? Just punishing bad behaviour can be very dispiriting. Positive reinforcement can be be very effective.

^It's not about imperfections, but carry on being a dick to your kids if you like, no skin off my nose.
Sad for you that you think the world is a harsh place. I don't find it so. Perhaps you need an attitude adjustment.^

I am not the one on the internet telling people how they should behave or calling them names when they don't agree with my point of view. I think the an attitude adjustment is needed all right but have a look in the mirror if you want to find the person that needs it.

The world is harsh, everyone will encounter stress, unemployment, unpleasant bosses, uncontrollable circumsdances, hard relationships, upset, worry and bills they cannot pay at some point. The mumsnet boards would be empty if this was not the case. Saying you do not find the world harsh really shows me the measure of you.

I like the way you ignore all the good things I say about my kids and just focus on what you perceive to be a negative. Somehow I am doubting severely that you are as equanimous with your kids as you pretend to be.

Have a lovely day.

You really name call your kids?

if my husband called me a Moro

Better calling strangers online names than your own kids.

Of course I perceive it as a negative, so does everyone. Because it is a negative to call your own kids morons. Of course you think the world is a harsh place, clearly so is your house!

DingDong
Can you fuck off if you're not going to be constructive here? The OP asked for advice on a concerning situation, not for your little diatribe on people calling their kids names.

OP, I would suggest that you sit down as a family and discuss feelings and consequences. Get the kids involved in deciding punishments and rewards for behaviors and then have them on the wall as a reminder. But also talk about coping mechanisms, put yourself in the picture "when mummy gets mad she does x. This helps mummy feel calmer". Another strategy is having a calm space, not as a punishment but as somewhere to go to calm down in the moment.

I hope you find something that helps.

I have a 5year old boy with Autism.behaviour problems ect.i hear that there are certain activities that are good for children with autism. Kick boxing football swimming anyone tried this? If so did you find it beneficial?if so please reply

You need to unpick this abs stop this now or it may escalate into something much worse. I know a few children where this has escalated into more serious violence. Tell the school, they may be able to do some therapy work with her.

When is it happening?
My 5yo sometimes gets so tired at school on walk home refuses to talk & gets ratty.
Routine after school is food & quiet time. Often think he is hangry!
Has occasionally hit out & he is removed to bedroom where he’ll often fall asleep.
I couldn’t ever take him to after school clubs/supermarket- bad things would happen