DH not interested in head teacher job

[Galla]

He's a great teacher with lots of experience and I assumed this is where is is heading. A perfect head job has just been advertised. Right distance away, not too far, not too near to bump into any of them. Small school which looks ideal to start off with.
I excitedly emailed him the link when I saw the ad. He got home from work and said he'd think about it. Which was not promising. Then said today he's not interested but might be in a year or two. Jobs this ideal wouldn't come around that often in our area. I can't really understand his reasoning and they don't make any sense to me
He doesn't like the current school. He has no camaraderie with these colleagues unlike previous schools. The boss is weak. He enjoys teaching but the current class isn't his first choice.
He wants to be a head, but says he doesn't know enough of what's involved and wants more experience.
Sounds reasonable-ish but he has years of experience and its easy to find out what's involved.
I think he might have lost some confidence in his abilities as he has been drained this year with difficult assistants and a bigger than normal workload.
Aibu to try convincing him that this is a lost opportunity and that he is very capable?
I know I can't make him do anything he doesn't want too, but it's frustrating.

DH is a head teacher. He was a deputy for 7 years in various schools gettingvthe experience required for headship. He has regretted the move. Your DH needs to lead a subject area first, working up to a year group the deputy or assistant head roles. He absolutely is right to not want to jump in feet first into a role he does not feel ready for.

Well ok, Sunday night planning is pretty much a given!! I think that is one advantage of being a headteacher over a teacher.

That was my experience. Booking to go to the cinema on Sunday night was unbelievably exciting!

If he's not interested and doesn't feel ready I wouldn't push him at all. That way much unhappiness lies.

I've seen first hand what an inexperienced HT can do to a school in a year. Staff morale was at an all time low and it wasn't pleasant. Said HT finally got demoted and relocate as a DHT in another school as a result and everyone, including the HT, are much better off for it.

A 'few leadership opportunities' in 10 years seems like being a lead in certain areas, not senior management. Unless in those 10 years he has jumped school a lot and worked as Principal Teacher/HOD in a few different areas as well as Depute too before going back to class teacher role.

Imo you need to experience all of the steps in the ladder to become an effective leader, you don't just jump straight in otherwise everyone gets dragged down on the sinking ship.

Also his career, his choice.

The road to headship is long and hard, it's not enough to have leadership experience it needs to be substantial experience in a senior leadership role, usually deputy or previous headship. NPQH helps but isn't compulsory any more. It's a very different job from teaching and doesn't suit all (or many). It's incredibly hard and you need to be prepared to make personal sacrifices. Really, you need to stay out of it, it's his decision and he's made his feelings clear.

Are you Lady Macbeth??

Or Sarah Vine?

No I'm not a teacher.
Did think about it though and still wouldn't rule it out.

Retrain and do it yourself, then.

Somebody earlier in the thread said Heads were like Premier League Football Managers which is true but they don't get the salary to match. A bad Ofsted report and he could be out on his arse with very little chance of a leadership role in the future.

What do you do, what's your career plan and timescale? Is it your choice or your partner's?

Are you Lady Macbeth?

Best. Line. Ever.

OP, I think you've got the message by now I hope you manage to have a good chat with him so that you understand each others aspirations a bit more.

I'm a teacher, and you couldn't pay me enough to take on the role of head. Ugh, no thank you, not ever. I have a PhD, so everyone assumed I would, but I'm quite happy in my classroom, working with my kids, and being able to actually teach.

Got the message alright!
My career is ok, couple of babies slowed it down but back on target now.
I did once consider teaching but a long time ago. No, I'm happy enough and not eager to change careers these days but listening to him talking about work, I do envy it sometimes. Particularly the rewarding aspects of the job. He loves it, but this year he's in a different school which is devoid of happiness it seems, and its emotionally draining him.
My original thinking was with becoming a head, he could have more influence in how the school is run which would improve his current helplessness and frustrations. I know he would be a great example and is well able. He's worked in lots of schools under good and bad leadership. He's had two or three head of dept roles. Not in his current school though as it doesn't have any such roles as its too small. Although, you have smudged my rosy picture somewhat as to what the role involves
If he's not ready, he's not ready.

Have you worked in large practice. Do you remember the great managers who got pushed out when they were over promoted to DSM and directors and had to focus on sales and client service and not delivering excellent engagements and interacting with staff and finance teams? I do. I also have two parents who were deputy heads and know enough about teaching to realise it's the same thing. Headship isn't for everyone. DM was deputy in a small local school and had a year as acting head and hated every damn minute of it. Both took the conscious decision to stay at deputy for the last 10 years of their career even though they were invited to apply for hardships a number of times. DF even took a step back to just class room teacher and head of subject for his final 3 years it kept him teaching longer than DM who had loved it but retired early the year after her acting head stint.

To be honest right now being a head teacher is an absolute nightmare. School budgets are being slashed left right and centre and the head teachers have to make some massively hard choices. I sure as hell wouldn't want that responsibility right now.

You're thinking about all the perks without recognising the pressures head teachers face. It's no picnic. He needs to make the decision himself, without judgement from you and your full support in his decision.

Also yes to getting some leadership experience first. He isn't ready, don't push him.

Can't get headteachers round this way. Nobody wants the job.
I can't imagine the draw at all....you go into teaching for the children....and then end up at the top being a 'business manager.'
And you can't do right for doing wrong. You have to have so much self confidence as someone is always after you.
A teaching head too...not a chance... twice the work for minimal wage increase.
It's worrying that relatively new teachers round here seem to be able to get headship after only a couple of years teaching.

Is he currently in a depute position? Does he has a masters qualification? What does he enjoy about teaching? Teachers work with kids, HTs work with adults.

My original thinking was with becoming a head, he could have more influence in how the school is run which would improve his current helplessness and frustrations.

Unfortunately that is a very naive view. The reality is very very different and there are more and more frustrations.

My friend is a head of a small school. She is having to let 1.5 teachers and two TA go at the end of this year.

It isn't a job I would want at the moment.

Just leave him to it OP.

Perhaps he thinks he would be happiest in an actual teaching role. Ironically, the more senior roles in schools do tend to start removing teachers from the classroom. There is also a LOT more stress.

If he wants to look for another role then he must be the one to do it. Not you. He is the teacher and sees much more at first hand what the various roles entail, along with the pros and construction.

Why are you looking for jobs for him to apply for? Perhaps he doesn't want that. He is an adult and must make his own decisions. I sure as hell would get annoyed with anyone who tried to tell me what jobs to apply for.

Pros and cons. Ridiculous auto-correct.

Was coming on to say focus on progressing in your career and leave him to decide how he wants his to go, but I see you have already had that advice and taken it on board!
He will know his own sector best. I would hate to have someone pushing me to progress in a direction I wasn't ready for/didn't want

I don't think it's any accident that headship is autocorrecting to hardship!

Some people are quite slow and have no ambition. Sounds like he's one of those . In tahat you progress your job. I earned 10x my husband. That is the nicest way as a woman to do well and increase earnings - out earn the men and earn your own money rather than being some kind of mere power behind a rather reluctant throne.

Can people not see that the op has taken the advice ? One pp has mentioned this but plenty have continued to reiterate the point.

I've never worked in a school where the head teacher actually gets to do any teaching. It stands to reason that somebody who really enjoys teaching wouldn't necessarily want to give that up in favour of what is essentially an administrative job.

OP, I thin you're doing the right thing by not pushing it, but don't assume he'll ever be "ready". It might not be a case of being ready after a certain length of time so much as headship just not being as good a fit with his likes and dislikes as teaching is.