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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH not interested in head teacher job

127 replies

Galla · 05/04/2017 21:03

He's a great teacher with lots of experience and I assumed this is where is is heading. A perfect head job has just been advertised. Right distance away, not too far, not too near to bump into any of them. Small school which looks ideal to start off with.
I excitedly emailed him the link when I saw the ad. He got home from work and said he'd think about it. Which was not promising. Then said today he's not interested but might be in a year or two. Jobs this ideal wouldn't come around that often in our area. I can't really understand his reasoning and they don't make any sense to me
He doesn't like the current school. He has no camaraderie with these colleagues unlike previous schools. The boss is weak. He enjoys teaching but the current class isn't his first choice.
He wants to be a head, but says he doesn't know enough of what's involved and wants more experience.
Sounds reasonable-ish but he has years of experience and its easy to find out what's involved.
I think he might have lost some confidence in his abilities as he has been drained this year with difficult assistants and a bigger than normal workload.
Aibu to try convincing him that this is a lost opportunity and that he is very capable?
I know I can't make him do anything he doesn't want too, but it's frustrating.

OP posts:

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/04/2017 21:44

A small school does not make it an easier starting point

I agree. In some ways small schools are harder.

I certainly wouldn't be keen on a teaching head position either.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 05/04/2017 21:45

what is it about teaching that makes everyone think they're an expert?

Because they went 2 school, init

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 05/04/2017 21:45

He's a grown up isn't he? And what LEM says.

CosyCoupe88 · 05/04/2017 21:48

easy enough to find out this statement shows how little you know about his career. Anything in teaching you don't know until you do it or take on responsibilities or tasks that give you a tiny insight. You can't just read a job description and be like "ah cool" .

notbankinonit · 05/04/2017 21:49

If he had a breakdown and was on longterm sick, would you be able to pick up all the pieces? What do you do? Nothing worse than being pressurised to take things on that you know you won't cope with comfortably.

notbankinonit · 05/04/2017 21:53

Sorry, I see you are an accountant.

CotesDeGroan · 05/04/2017 21:53

I think if he was looking for HT posts then he'd be looking on TES (or wherever it is these things are advertised these days).

I have once or twice searched for posts for DP but then in his line of work there are various places where posts are advertised, I'm better at Googling than he is and he's been actively looking himself.

I'd be a bit if a DP started looking for promotions for me tbh. If you want more income OP, can you up your hours?

BoneyBackJefferson · 05/04/2017 21:56

No I'm not a teacher.
Did think about it though and still wouldn't rule it out. I work in accountancy.

Go for it £2,000 per month tax free (depending upon degree level) just for training.

Why would the government offer that as its so easy (sarcasm for those that didn't get it)

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2017 21:56

Think thats the same in most jobs. You can read a job description bit you don't really know what it's like till you do it

BeaderBird · 05/04/2017 21:57

I think your mad. Unless you don't actually like him or you never want him to have a minutes peace again. Also, being a head is like being a Premiership Manager - you can be told to clear your desk immediately.

Do not push him. You'll regret it.

BoysaDearyMe · 05/04/2017 21:59

Huge difference in being a classroom teacher to being the principal of a school, which as the boss can be a lonely demanding position to be in. Same applies for senior positions in many roles, not just teaching.
There's more to life than money

BeaderBird · 05/04/2017 22:00

*you're

admission · 05/04/2017 22:01

I think that the priority here is not to apply for this job but actually have a serious discussion about what are his priorities for the future. To me this seems as though he is drifting along.
He needs to make a decision, is he going to be a senior leader in a school or is he not.
If not then he needs to understand the financial restrictions he will have now or in the future. He also needs to consider what more specialised positions may be of attraction to him e.g. specialist in numeracy etc.
If he does want to become a head teacher then he needs to get some deputy head experience in a primary school that has 400+ pupils and a head teacher who is going to help him get managerial experience with a view to being a head teacher in say 3 years. He needs to do the new NPQH course and pass it, so he gets some grounding in senior management.
Having said that he needs to understand that becoming a head teacher is a difficult and lonely job at times. There is also a reality more and more schools are in MATs and there is no head teacher role, it is called head of school. Also you do not walk into a head teacher position in a primary school with 400+ pupils, most governing bodies will be looking for experience, so he will have to get experience as a head in a small school and probably have a 50% teaching commitment.

Epipgab · 05/04/2017 22:05

What's wrong with not wanting to be a headteacher at the moment, or at any time? Why are you ambitious for him to do it if he doesn't want to? There's more to life than being top dog at work.

Orlantina · 05/04/2017 22:06

10 years teaching experience and a few different leadership roles still makes a big jump to headteacher

TBF - I've seen a few people do that. My first headteacher was 28? He didn't seem to want to spend much time in the classroom.

hamandmustard · 05/04/2017 22:09

Small schools with teaching headships are hard work. Hard to recruit to. Usually those candidates would have been SLT but not a Deputy. Small schools don't typically have Deputy Heads and small schools are often looking for Heads with small school experience.

For a single form entry. Previous experience DHT or Assistant Head usually.

If you are male- knock 5 years off any typical experience . If you are male and Catholic then even better.

No need for NPQH any more and it is getting much less common.

I know primary Heads appointed with 5 years teaching experience who have been amazing- previously AHTs or equivalent.

Depending of where the OP lives it may be highly possible to go straight to a teaching headship with limited leadership experience if he is a great teacher. Teaching is a key part of the interview process.

10 years teaching experience and a few different leadership roles still makes a big jump to headteacher.

It really isn't. It is probably more experience than many 1st teaching headships have.

MrsT2007 · 05/04/2017 22:12

I find in teaching that

the extra cash of a TLR etc is rarely commensurate with the extra stress that accompanies it
The adage of 'the higher up the ladder you climb, the more of your arse you show' is very true. Headteachers either need to be extremely competent or spectacularly good at delegating (or both), & have the hide of a rhino to cope with it.

There's a reason hardships are so hard to fill. Most teachers look at the job and think 'no way'

Orlantina · 05/04/2017 22:14

There's a reason hardships are so hard to fill

Freudian slip?

Eolian · 05/04/2017 22:14

Jeez. Teaching is a nightmare these days. Dh is a deputy head with tons of experience and has been deputy in two schools. I would never push him to go for a headship. Not in a million years. If he decides hs wants to, fair enough, and I'll support him all the way. But it is not a job anyone should go into unless they are 100% keen and very resilient and an insane workaholic .

HellonHeels · 05/04/2017 22:15

I'd suggest you focus on your own career instead of pushing your DH. He'll do it when he's ready - if he wants to. As PPs have said being Head is a huge task.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 05/04/2017 22:18

Seriously?

I'd rather jump into a pit of snakes than apply for an HT job, at least the snakes don't pretend to be giving you the moon on a stick when they swallow you whole.

I'm am astonished you'd want this position fir him, unless you really don't like him very much.

Bluntness100 · 05/04/2017 22:18

Does he do the same to you? Look up job opportunites he thinks uou should go after and then push you to do them?

I'd be horrified if my husband tried to micro manage my career like that. Both of us are adults and can manage that ourselves. We will discuss it with each other but neither would actively seek out opportunities like this, especially if the other clearly doesn't want it.

Do you simply want him to be a head teacher?

hamandmustard · 05/04/2017 22:18

If he does want to become a head teacher then he needs to get some deputy head experience in a primary school that has 400+ pupils and a head teacher who is going to help him get managerial experience with a view to being a head teacher in say 3 years. He needs to do the new NPQH course and pass it, so he gets some grounding in senior management.

He probably doesn't need to do any of that. Depends on where you are in the country.

A Deputy in a large primary is paid more than a Head in a small school. Small school heads typically have not been Deputies in large schools.

NPQH is in disarray. Going straight for a masters seems more desirable these days.

I would say that 30% of the headships here don't go to interview as the field is so weak and about 40% don't recruit at the 1st go (so after interview another 10% don't proceed) .

scaryclown · 05/04/2017 22:19

FFS now is EXACTLY when he should be going - at rising disgruntledness - its like share trading, if you leave at peak disgruntledness, its too late.

Tell him that women often feel that they can't apply for jobs until they have already done them - and that this means they often do jobs where there is no challenge, and so they underperform -- when you think you can't quite do the job (ie can do 30% of the job comfortably) is when you should leave.

If he's shit, he can leave in a year, into a job where he can apply the learning from his time as a shit headteacher..so its win-win-win.

Are you after a new bathroom

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 05/04/2017 22:24

Dh is a deputy head with tons of experience and has been deputy in two schools. I would never push him to go for a headship. Not in a million years.

^This. My DH is a Deputy in a major public school and really great at his job. His Head has told him he would be a good Head and I know that too. But I would never push him into it. Being a Head is a circle of Hell all of it's own.

The Head of my school is amazing and I love her for it, but even she sometimes thinks she would rather be a deputy.

I would leave your DH alone. He will make that jump himself if he feels ready.

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