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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?

266 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 05/04/2017 19:30

Well of course he's 'just a dog' because he's, well, a dog.

BUT he's a massive, huge part of my and DH's life and of my DC's lives. He's the first member of the household that DS (who is a different boy since we got him) talks to in the morning and last he talks to at night. He cheers me up just by looking at me and wagging his tail. DH suffers from insomnia and frequently wanders downstairs during the night and I'll find the dog cuddled up to him on the sofa (he's not allowed on the furniture btw Smile. DD sits and chats to him when she comes home from school in a bad mood for whatever reason 10 year olds get in a bad mood about. I love everything about him, we all do.

And now we find he has a huge tumour and things are looking very bleak. I can't even tell you how devastated we all are and MIL tells DS not to be silly as 'it's just a dog and you can get another one'.

I know not everyone likes pets, or dogs but he's ours and we love him. I don't suppose this is really a BU thread, I just wanted to tell someone else.

OP posts:
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FruityLoopy88 · 05/04/2017 23:49

I completely agree. My dog is my life.

I have a gorgeous seven year old Cavapoo. I'm due in September with my first baby.

The dog is like family. He follows me around everywhere and sleeps in bed with me. Unfortunately, he gets jealous when my fella gives me a kiss, a cuddle or a good showing to. The dog starts crying, barking and sometimes shows his teeth.

I love my dog so much. It isn't his fault that I'm having a baby. What do I do in preparation for when my baby comes?! Does anyone have any tips that's been in this position before?

theluckiest · 05/04/2017 23:59

Fruity, I would suggest slowly introducing your baby to the dog in a v calm, controlled way. Possibly even letting the dog sniff the baby or baby clothes... The dog will prob know it's place in the 'pack' has shifted.

My Cav used to sleep with his head on my tummy when I was pg. Never at any other time. I wonder if he could hear the baby sloshing about in there. He seemed to like it & I found it so comforting. Aaaaa, you've just reminded me of that...sniff.

Dog was devoted to baby when he arrived (although we never left him unattended obv)

theluckiest · 06/04/2017 00:02

And generally, we kept the dog down in the kitchen when DH & I were kissing n cuddling Wink

It wasn't that he got aggressive or possessive. He just used to sit there and stare at us quizzically. Really off- putting... Grin

blondehair · 06/04/2017 00:03

I'm so sorry about your news. A dog is family and are the best pets x

Kleptronic · 06/04/2017 00:04

FruityLoopy88 you'll get great advice on preparing your dog for the arrival of a baby on the doghousee* thread, where there are many knowledgeable, experienced posters. Although it does sound like you have a few problems you need to address for your dog's sake even without a baby - overly attached to you maybe.

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 06/04/2017 00:05

Havana maybe you'd be a little less patronising and understanding if you had worked with PAT dogs and abused children, as I have done. Personally I'd rather deal with pet hair than some humans

My daughter has severe LD. Doubly incontinent. Epileptic. No speech, no signing. She hates dogs. We keep PAT dogs away from her because she really hates dogs being around her.They bring the dogs in and they have to take her away from them. She coughs and vomits, when there is a dog in the room. You cannot just take a dog into a room with LD kids and expect that they will all love it.

I don't know why you are giving Havana such a hard time.
Maybe Havana knows something that you don't.
In fact, I'm sure of it. She/he makes sense to me.

Ellieboolou27 · 06/04/2017 00:09

fruity my dog sleeps in my bed and still does, I've 2 dc both under 5, if he ever got territorial over dh or dc showing me affection he's be out of my bed like a shot and the house
You need to regain the power as you've let him get away with being the boss.
might be worth getting a trainer in to sort it out as it could be an issue when baby comes if you don't sort out the territorial behaviour.

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 06/04/2017 00:16

Its because they can smell a bell end a mile off, and probably want you out of their house...

So you can only have friends that your dogs like the smell of?
Most people don't really want to see your dogs when you invite them for dinner. Nobody really wants to see your dogs at all.

Ellieboolou27 · 06/04/2017 00:36

vermillion but I didn't say ALL children nor did I say children with LD, I don't just walk in with my dog Confused the child is fully assessed and the child enters the room not the dog, it's not enforced on them.

Maybe you and Havana could start a dog disliking thread, maybe you could offer the op some sympathy rather than explain your dc's dislike of dogs, not really appropriate for this thread is it?

Anyhow, hope you've got the message op that it's totally ok to feel how you do, i hope the vets can do something.

KittyWindbag · 06/04/2017 00:41

There are some people who just don't 'get' animals, don't see them as individuals with unique personalities. I'm so sorry for you OP. It would break my heart if this was my cat :( he is a part of the family and everybody loves him it decor my MIL who told me now I'm pregnant I should get rid of him because cats are bad for babies Hmm

I'm sorry your MIL is being so callous and insensitive. I would have to give her a piece of my mind.

Vermillioncomfyshoes · 06/04/2017 01:29

Its because they can smell a bell end a mile off, and probably want you out of their house...

That's really not fair. Because I've walked into that house really scared, and frightened. I'm scared of dogs. I come into the scenario scared shitless.. I don't want to be there. I want out. I am not a bell end. Being wary of a strange dog does not make me a 'bell-end'

I knew there was a big scary dog there but I would never have walked into the house if they had not agreed to keep it in the garden.. How does that make me a bell-end?
They assured me that I would not meet the dog.
They ignored the agreement. It rushed out at me.
Does that make 'them' the bell-ends?
I met the dog and it scared the fuck out of me.

I have a fear of dogs, having been nipped on 3 occasions,
and bitten twice. Is it surprising that I am now wary of dogs?

I don't understand why people are so scathing of those of us who are wary or frightened of dogs.

I object to being called a 'bell-end' just because I am wary of strange dogs, My neighbours have a couple of very well trained working dogs who know me very well and I take care of them when my neighbours are away for a night or two. The dogs are disciplined and I walk into their kitchen and kennel without fear. Because they know me. I trust them and I hope they trust me.

I feed them and I take them for a half hour walk. They come back when I call them

But, you see, I wouldn't be able to do that if they were not already highly trained. They are not really responding to me, but to the discipline of their owners, I have a gut feeling that,, as responsive to direction as they are, it is not 'me' they are being responsive to but to the innate responsitivity of someone who has been left in charge of them.

Anyroadup. The buggers do what I tell 'em to do
Two lovey black labs. Adorable.

I'm not dog lover, but these dog make you like dogs.

GinIsIn · 06/04/2017 01:46

Your MIL is a dick.

Itsadoublewhammy · 06/04/2017 03:03

And so are the two posters on here who tried to hijack the thread.

Jenny70 · 06/04/2017 04:47

So sorry Wilbur. hope there is good news for your doggie.

Of course you can get another dog, and you will love it just like this one, but it will never replace this one, just like one child wouldn't replace another.

We've just gotten our first family pet and already 2 months in she is a part of our family.

I was talking to someone and she said studies show the loss of a dog is harder in the short term for children to cope with than the loss of a parent :( They are not just a cuddly toy with a heartbeat, they are a real part of a family, and not one that can be swapped over.

Hope you get good news, but your MIL is not understanding the footprint they make in our hearts.

PavlovianLunge · 06/04/2017 05:10

Vermillion/Havana, this is a thread that was started because a poster, a person, with feelings wanted to talk about their dog; their much-loved pet. De-railing and what-abboutery are pointless and unhelpful; empathy isn't zero-sum, people can sympathise with the OP and care about the plights of Syrian children, prisoners of conscience and anything else, come to that.

I fail to see why either of you felt the need to post in the way you have, but actually, I'm pleased about that; I would hate to be the sort of person who empathises, but...

OP, if VermillionHavana hasn't put you off, please let us know how things are going.

MamaHanji · 06/04/2017 07:46

This is my ferocious beast Kodi.
She's is beyond fantastic with my toddler and baby, and is the silliest flump ever. She's 5. She's my furr baby.

I also have a beautiful cat called Wilbur, but he's very hard to photograph as he is almost black and very fluffy.

To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?
To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?
ScruffbagsRUs · 06/04/2017 07:47

My 2 crazies. They are the most loving, silly dogs we've ever come across. Big, bad, horrible and aggressive they are absolutely not. They love to greet everyone coming through the door with a sit and a paw shake.

They're still the biggest nutbags in our area Grin, although the way they play isn't for the faint-hearted, as they play hard and heavy. They look as if they're about to tear strips off each other, but it's just the way they play.

To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?
To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?
MamaHanji · 06/04/2017 08:02

Scruffbags

They are so cute! I need more dogs!

ItsNachoCheese · 06/04/2017 08:14

Here is nachodog

To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?
WilburIsSomePig · 06/04/2017 08:53

Things went downhill very quickly last night I'm afraid.

He started fitting at around 11pm and was vomiting blood. We called the vet (who was wonderful and has treated him since he was a puppy) and she came out to the house at midnight to see him. She sedated him and gave him something to stop him being sick but it didn't make much difference at first. He was crying in pain and he looked so scared, it was unbearable. He looked so well at around 8pm, then everything changed so quickly.

The vet said she could give him something else for the pain, which she did and we woke the DC's up to come and spend some time with him. We didn't feel we could wait til morning (which I know sounds very over dramatic but he was struggling to breathe at this point). We all spent some time with him, told him we loved him and DD gave him her favourite bear to cuddle. He's been trying to get that bear off of her for years. Then the vet put him to sleep while we held him.

We're all heartbroken.

OP posts:
WilburIsSomePig · 06/04/2017 08:54

Sorry, I should have said thank you for your posts, I haven't read the full thread yet but I will soon. Thank you again.

OP posts:
FiveShelties · 06/04/2017 08:58

Wilbur I am so very, very sorry.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 06/04/2017 08:58

So sorry Wilbur.

MamaHanji · 06/04/2017 09:00

Wilbur

I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through.

Take the time to grieve and don't let ANYBODY downplay what you are going through.

Flowers
VeryButchyRestingFace · 06/04/2017 09:01

Very sorry, Wilbur. FlowersFlowers

May Ddog rest in peace and your family be comforted by wonderful memories.

I'd recommend not sifting through the full thread for a while. Most people were very kind but a couple were not.