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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my dog is not 'just a dog'?

266 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 05/04/2017 19:30

Well of course he's 'just a dog' because he's, well, a dog.

BUT he's a massive, huge part of my and DH's life and of my DC's lives. He's the first member of the household that DS (who is a different boy since we got him) talks to in the morning and last he talks to at night. He cheers me up just by looking at me and wagging his tail. DH suffers from insomnia and frequently wanders downstairs during the night and I'll find the dog cuddled up to him on the sofa (he's not allowed on the furniture btw Smile. DD sits and chats to him when she comes home from school in a bad mood for whatever reason 10 year olds get in a bad mood about. I love everything about him, we all do.

And now we find he has a huge tumour and things are looking very bleak. I can't even tell you how devastated we all are and MIL tells DS not to be silly as 'it's just a dog and you can get another one'.

I know not everyone likes pets, or dogs but he's ours and we love him. I don't suppose this is really a BU thread, I just wanted to tell someone else.

OP posts:
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13
ItsNachoCheese · 05/04/2017 20:02

A dog is never "just a dog" they are part of the family. I have my almost 2yo ds and ddog who i adopted 5yrs ago and they are my world. The bond they have is incredible and i love seeing them together. Before ds ddog was my partner in crime. He basically saved me from a very dark place and i will forever love him for that. I have so many pictures of him and i plan to make a memory book of pictures for when ds is older so we can remember our best friend when that sad time comes. wilbur huge hugs for you and your ddog Flowers💙 🐶

anotherpoisonprince · 05/04/2017 20:04

I'm so sorry Wilbur my girl has been my rock for the last 8 years. I know exactly how much your dog's means to you all Flowers I really hope you have some gentle news from the vet Flowers

justdontevenfuckingstart · 05/04/2017 20:06

Oh Wilbur. We are a pet family, our dogs are everything to us, with DD1 it was hamsters. Some aren't pet orientated which is fine. Don't take the comments to heart.
We are all here for you x

Imamouseduh · 05/04/2017 20:08

My dog is my best mate and favourite soul on this earth. I hope you get a few more years with your pal.

Rufus27 · 05/04/2017 20:09

[for you]. He's not 'just' a dog. He's your family. But she is definitely 'just' a MiL.

AfeniShakur · 05/04/2017 20:10

Oh gosh, I feel your pain

Our 11 year old dog went through a major op for breast cancer around 18 months ago - we were told at the time it was aggressive, and if it came back there would not be a lot they could do. At the op they felt confident they had got it all = Happy days we thought

Except it wasn't - she now has large tumours on the other side and despite not being in pain at the minute, she can still enjoy a walk etc

We are over the shock of it though and we try to make sure she gets plenty of what she enjoys whlst she is with us

LadyPW · 05/04/2017 20:11
Flowers
Arkhamasylum · 05/04/2017 20:13

I'm so sorry, Wilbur Flowers

Love is love, regardless. Your MIL either doesn't understand or can't cope with emotion. Neither of these is your son's problem though (or yours). I would just tell him he should feel sorry for her because she doesn't understand. I'm so sorry. He sounds like a lovely dog.

Flowers
lljkk · 05/04/2017 20:18

I love my cats, will cry buckets when they die, but they are still just cats.
They sure won't pine away if I snuff it
I guess this thread is about feelings not harsh reality?

bosch · 05/04/2017 20:18

So sorry Wilbur

I thought I preferred cats...I think the only two times I saw DH cry was when we had them pts.

Then we got our dog six years ago. He's my best mate now, he's one of the family and he makes sure DS3 goes to bed at bedtime every night. Your MIL is very wrong. I really hope your vet can come up with a remedy.

PrisonerofBrenda · 05/04/2017 20:20

Hi Wilbur. I'm so sorry to hear about your dog and I echo all the above good wishes for him, and you.

I've said it before and I'll keep on saying it in the face of comments such as you received from your MIL : love is love, whatever the object, and love for a pet is as valid as love for a person. Quite why that is hard to understand or why love has to be calibrated, or justified or why grief / anxiety for a dearly loved pet can't be acknowledged and compassion shown is what I have difficulty comprehending.
I hope you have some positive news and in the meantime here's a hand hold.

Itsadoublewhammy · 05/04/2017 20:20

I understand too, I lost one of my dogs last year and am still very upset.
They are joyful, devoted creatures and my dc lives were enriched so much by their first dog.

I am thinking of you Flowers

ConfessorKahlan · 05/04/2017 20:22

I am so sorry. You have all my sympathy. We have been through similar and it is absolutely heartbreaking,, even though you know that it is the best thing for them. Our dog was definitely part of our family and left a huge hole in our lives.

A hole that was partly filled in a different way when we got anew puppy about a year after our loss. our mental new dog, who is almost 1 now, will never replace old dog but he is great and certainly keeps us entertained and busy.

Still shed a tear over old dog though even after nearly 2 years. We loved him. He was part of our family. Your MIL is cruel to say such things.

zeezeek · 05/04/2017 20:24

My dogs are my best friends and my children's playmates, confidants and comfort blankets. We have three - all middle aged now and if I dare to think about a time when they will nit be here I want to cry.

Our animals are not just animals. They are family members, each with their own personalities and foibles. I would go a far as to say they are more dear to me than some other members of my family.

Our animals don't judge ok not talking about cats here lol, don't abuse us, don't argue and hurt. All they do is give us complete and unconditional love.

It is a gift, having a dog and your mother in law is a poorer person for not understanding that love.

I'm hoping you have some good news about your dog.

user1471467016 · 05/04/2017 20:24

Awful attitude - dogs (or just pets) can help make a house a home

pinkbraces · 05/04/2017 20:26

Your dog is your family, if anyone says otherwise they just don't get it. I feel sorry for them.
I hope your vet has a plan Flowers

WildKiwi · 05/04/2017 20:27

I'm so sorry for you. You must all be devastated and it's awful when people are so insensitive.

Animals are never "just" a dog, or "just" a cat or any other animal you have a relationship with. They're unique individuals and part of the family. I also never understand when people refer to an animal as "it" rather than "he" or "she".

Hope the vet is able to come up with some good news for you.

Violetcharlotte · 05/04/2017 20:31

So sorry to hear this Flowers You must be devastated. My dog was very ill recently so I understand exactly how you feel. A dog is very much one of the family. I don't think non dog people really understand this x

Smeaton · 05/04/2017 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1471453601 · 05/04/2017 20:36

Ahh, there is no "just" about being privileged to have a dog in your life, it's a joy. My old girl is coming up 14, and we think she may becoming senile.

We are sad for her, of course, but she's much loved, still enjoys her food and going out into the garden. We will make the painful decision as and when we have to.

Much love

HemanOrSheRa · 05/04/2017 20:40

Oh Wilber Sad. I am so sorry. I hope the vet can give you more promising news Flowers.

Much like bosch I've always been a cat person. Love my cats. However, we got a dog almost 8 years ago as we were (very briefly) cat free and it was a good time to get the family dog that DP and DS longed for. Oh my goodness. We fell in love. I love her and she loves me. It is impossible to feel sad when you get home and get the greeting that a dog gives you.

So, of course, it's not just a dog. They become part of your life and heart. They give so much back to you. That is the joy of dogs Smile.

I will keep you and your DDog in my thoughts.

CreatingADream · 05/04/2017 20:41

I am so sorry for you, your family, and your dog.

My dog saved my life. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through the last few years without him. He means the world to me. I just adore him. There's no other way to put it.

GerdaLovesLili · 05/04/2017 20:41

Y MIL IBVU. My MIL was very sad when our 14yo rabbit finally died. She knew he wasn't "just a rabbit" . Flowers

dudsville · 05/04/2017 20:42

When we lost one of ours last year we soon realised she'd been pack leader. She'd been so poorly with arthritis and allergies that everything we did was around her and what she could manage. I made steps for her, that had to be covered in the same carpet as the rest of the house in order for her to feel safe getting on and of the bed and sofa. Toward the very end we hand fed her water and helped her to toilet and feel safe. We cradled her. In her absence we had to reassemble. Sure sure was a dog. Best ever. My heart goes out to you and all of us who have the privilege of knowing a furry member of the family and have to manage with too little time.

Havanaclub · 05/04/2017 20:42

Humans are deserving of love too and often don't get that. Sadly.

Kids are killed, mutilated, depraved, raped, sarin gassed.

But a dog is a dog after all.

There is a balance I know.

But TBH the threads on here about getting rid of dog/cat hair make me want to puke. Hairs are verboten anywhere surely, as are smells, walking forever to keep the dog happy and not biting or eating anyone else, endless vet bills, you get the picture.

Babies are so much nicer IMO. and they don't need to go to the vet either.

I bet EVERY dog owner here just adores their pet every single minute of every day. Always.

Babies and our children are different and deserve that.