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Original poster

Upset about critiscm of unborn child name.

529 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 13:22

To cut a long story short,

I am pregnant with my first child and DP and I have chosen two names.

For a girl: Noah
(I understand that many people prefer the spelling Noa for a female but we don't.)

For a boy: Ezra

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names. It's getting me down and making me second guess myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 05/04/2017 14:19

Vestal
I believe that was me Grin
she was a lovely lady in her late 40s originally from South Africa, but had spent majority of her life in the UK.
Her name was Ezra and her daughter was called Ezra-Rose. Apparently the name is quite common in SA she said too me.

Although I have just googled the name Ezra, it is african, masculine and means Helper.

She suited the name Ezra though Grin

SirVixofVixHall · 05/04/2017 14:19

cadow- I was Hmm at the comment from Sandi Toksvig too. My neighbour is called Non, as is a child at my dds school. V normal here in welsh-speaking Wales. Location makes all the difference, as you say.

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2017 14:20

Noah is not a "lovely gender neutral name!" Hmm. How could it be when it's more commonly associated with boys?

grannytomine · 05/04/2017 14:20

it is not a name that anyone would use for a female today in the same way that Hillary for a boy is no longer seen as OK

Has anyone told Hilary Benn?

FrenchLavender · 05/04/2017 14:21

Noah for a girl is totally ridiculous. Your family are just trying to save you from yourself, listen to them. If you are sick and tired of your family pulling a face at the spelling now, imagine how sick and tired you'll be after of seeing every bugger doing the same thing for the next 20 years. And not just you - think of your poor child having to explain the EVERYONE HER WHOLE LIFE that she is a girl.

Ezra if fine. They can mind their own business on that one. They might not like it but tough. At least it's spelt properly.

RedSkyAtNight · 05/04/2017 14:21

I have a unisex sounding name with the traditionally "male" (rather than the female) spelling of it.

As many posters on this thread have said, I have spent my life telling people how to spell it, receiving letters from companies who assume I am a "Mr", and having to tell people ad infinitum that "yes the spelling is more traditionally male, but there a few women with it spelt that way".

It is no coincidence that my own DC have names that are unambiguous in their gender and are easy to spell!

ScarletSienna · 05/04/2017 14:22

Granny-I imagine they have.

Sativa · 05/04/2017 14:23

I like both names. Ezra was on my shortlist for a boy. Don't listen to other people; they probably like all those boring names...

JaneEyre70 · 05/04/2017 14:23

Honestly, by calling a girl Noah you are inflicting a lifetime of "why have you got a boys name" on your daughter and I don't understand why you'd want to do that. Just because a name is traditional doesn't make it nice. Kids can be bloody cruel without giving them cause to be. Don't imagine for one second she will thank you for doing it!
Did you not see the reaction when Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively called their daughter James.............

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2017 14:24

I have to laugh at the continual posting of ignore everyone, op, it's none of their business Grin.
It wouldn't be; but for the fact that op has apparently told everyone she knows in real life and has now put it in the Internet.
Don't canvas opinions if you don't want to hear them.

mummymeister · 05/04/2017 14:24

redsky - I made absolutely certain that my children all had unambiguous first and middle names for the same reason.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 05/04/2017 14:26

Funnily enough, I know a woman who's named her baby daughter Ezra.

She's really getting grumpy that people keep assuming her DD is a boy. Her DD is 2 now and starting preschool, and the mother is very huffy about people commenting it's a boys name. She was also told when pregnant that it's normally a boys name, she thought it would work just as well, but has been taken back by fact that most times she introduces her DD someone either says something or makes a taken aback face. You can see her tense up ready for the comment even if it doesn't come.

she's basically turned her DD's name into a negative - she finds telling new people her DD's name hard, because "isn't that a boys name?" or "I thought that was a boys name" or "oh I was expecting Ezra to be a boy!".

If it's bothering you that you get negative comments now, imagine 4 years of it. Then imagine 14 years at school when it's your DD, rather than you, who's getting the comments. Then imagine 40 years in the work place of comments...

goldenrachita · 05/04/2017 14:26

On the face of it, it's your baby and your choice so just ignore them.

Ezra is a nice traditional name for a boy. Can't understand why anyone would criticise it.

About Noah- You sound easily worried about other people's reactions to names, so I think you need to understand that a little girl with one of the top boys' names of 2017 is going to be a bit like a girl called Stephen in 1974 or a girl called Dave in 1950. There are certain types of parents who consider it cool, edgy and fun to be different and are totally unbothered. That's why James for a girl is occasionally used by (mainly) celebrities.

But if you are the sensitive type, I think maybe this name choice could end up being hard for you in the future. It's a bold move so you need to be able to laugh and say 'we know not everyone would pick it but we're not everyone, actually there's a woman in the bible called Noah, we love the fact it's original'. I don't think you are that person.

user1489261248 · 05/04/2017 14:27

Like I said earlier, Noah is a fairly OK name (and isn't AWFUL) for a girl, and Miley Cyrus's sister sounds OK with it, but these are celebrities. Normal folk can't pull it off sorry OP.

You will be condemning her to a life of 'why did you folks give you a boy's name?' She will have that forever. As I said, if you are getting pissed off now, how are you going to feel in a year's time? 3 year's time? 5 years? 10 years? And how is your daughter going to feel?

As I said, there are 100's more (hebrew) names. Why that one?

harderandharder2breathe · 05/04/2017 14:27

never discuss baby names til they're attached to an actual person, it's much harder to be rude about a newborn baby's name than a potential name

But if you insist on giving your daughter a boys name then people will comment negatively. You and she will be dealing with that for a long time yet.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/04/2017 14:28

Noah and Ezra are lovely, lovely names.....for a boy.

BlueFolly · 05/04/2017 14:28

If it's bothering you that you get negative comments now, imagine 4 years of it. Then imagine 14 years at school when it's your DD, rather than you, who's getting the comments. Then imagine 40 years in the work place of comments

This!

ScarletSienna · 05/04/2017 14:28

Sativa, by 'boring names' do you mean names that are commonly associated with a particular sex that matches their child and unlikely to contribute to teasing and misunderstandings? Are non-boring names, names where you do what you like with no care for what your child will have to listen to despite posters here giving anecdotes of their negative experiences Hmm

user1489261248 · 05/04/2017 14:29

Did you not see the reaction when Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively called their daughter James.............

JAMES for a girl? WTF? Confused

BertrandRussell · 05/04/2017 14:30

" It's a bold move so you need to be able to laugh and say 'we know not everyone would pick it but we're not everyone, actually there's a woman in the bible called Noah, we love the fact it's original'. I don't think you are that person."

Never mind that. You have no idea whether the most important person in this situation- the child concerned- is going to be that sort of person,

mayoli · 05/04/2017 14:32

Genuinely surprised at the amount of people who have never met a female Noah- most Noahs I know are and I'm in Scotland. I agree that keeping names a secret until the baby is born is a good idea though.

NKFell · 05/04/2017 14:32

I know a girl called James- not Jamie or Jaime...James.

She was gutted that Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively ruined her uniqueness!

Sometimes we call her Jim (she doesn't like that Grin)

BertrandRussell · 05/04/2017 14:33

I also find it interesting that nobody ever posts threads saying they want to call their baby boy Rose or Matilda or Violet..........

ToffeeForEveryone · 05/04/2017 14:33

It's gonna get "corrected" to Nora all the time.

NKFell · 05/04/2017 14:34

Oh and yes op just be aware that sometimes children hate having an unusual name. However, I like Noah and I love Ezra.