Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset about critiscm of unborn child name.

529 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 13:22

To cut a long story short,

I am pregnant with my first child and DP and I have chosen two names.

For a girl: Noah
(I understand that many people prefer the spelling Noa for a female but we don't.)

For a boy: Ezra

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names. It's getting me down and making me second guess myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 05/04/2017 13:49

You are always going to get comments about the names you choose for your child. However you are definitely going to get strong opinions when you are using a name that is well known and very popular for the opposite gender. You must have known this.
Your child will have a life time of correcting people, my best friend at school was a male with a traditional female name (In their culture it is also used for men) and it was a nightmare for him.

MusicToMyEars800 · 05/04/2017 13:50

I like both those names and think they are nice for a boy or a girl, the only girl I have heard of called Noah is Miley Cyrus' sister Grin

Amaried · 05/04/2017 13:50

With a girl called Noah, I'm afraid you better get used to raised eyebrows.

dotdotdotmustdash · 05/04/2017 13:51

There are plenty of lovely Jewish girls' names to choose from - my DD is Leah, we're not Jewish but we love the Old Testament and Torah names. Surely there's another you can choose that won't cause so many issues?

helpimitchy · 05/04/2017 13:51

Life at school is tough enough without your child having to constantly explain and defend her name.

If it absolutely has to be Noah, then please spell it Noa instead.

Stripeymug · 05/04/2017 13:51

Noa is a lovely fragrance and could be a lovely girls name, with Noah you are saddling your DD with a name that will be questioned, a lot.

goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 13:52

The Bible wasn't originally written in English though, so wouldn't they both [ie the man and the woman] have been called Noach as opposed to Noah?

In any case this thread shows exactly why you don't tell people the names you've chosen unless you actually WANT input.

If you want to give her a boy's name that's fine (not being sarcastic), but don't choose the boy's spelling of a unisex name unless you want to set her up for a lifetime of spelling errors. I would honestly say choose Noach or Noa, skip 'Noah'.

UserSchmooser · 05/04/2017 13:52

They are both terrible names but it's up to you and you're far less likely to hear criticism once they're born. Wait it out.

user1489261248 · 05/04/2017 13:53

Ezra is lovely for a boy. Noah isn't a bad name, and I appreciate that it's cultural, but it really does suit a boy more.

I used to know a lad called Tracy, and he was constantly taunted for having a 'girl's' name.

Sorry OP, but I don't think your daughter will thank you for calling her Noah. There must be other traditional hebrew names you can call her.

Just google it, there's 100's!

You say you are upset at people slagging off your choice of name for your child before he/she is born; it's not going to stop when the child is born I'm afraid...

MyGastIsFlabbered · 05/04/2017 13:53

I know a girl called Noa. I must admit when I first heard the name I did a double take and wondered if it was a boy who identified as a girl or similar.

People will always, always have an opinion on any name you pick, and most won't hold back from telling you, no matter how hurtful their opinion is.

ChasedByBees · 05/04/2017 13:53

I told my family the prospective names precisely because I wanted to know if there were strong reactions. It helped us to rule out three names.

If you don't want comments, don't share the names.

That said, I agree with everyone that it won't be you telling people that yes, it is spelt like that and yes, you are female.

Sidge · 05/04/2017 13:54

Think of the criticism as an early warning system.

If you live in the UK then you'd better get used to people thinking calling a daughter Noah is weird. Because it is.

ScarlettFreestone · 05/04/2017 13:54

People are always happy to criticise before the baby is born because it's not real to them yet.

Most people won't say anything after the baby is born out of politeness regardless of what they really think.

If you don't want comments don't tell.

If you choose an unusual/controversial name you need to be prepared for the fact that you won't receive universal acceptance and will be explaining your choice for the next 20 years or so (at least).

propertypriceguide · 05/04/2017 13:54

Really unfair to saddle any child with a name that is associated with the opposite gender. They will have to deal with it for the whole of their lives, don't be so selfish.

DramaInPyjamas · 05/04/2017 13:54

My daughter has a 'boys name' and not once has she been asked if she is a male

OpheliaHamlet · 05/04/2017 13:55

Miley Cyrus has a younger sister called Noah (who is just launching a pop career - something that might be worth noting in case she becomes famous in the way her sister did).

I like Ezra as a boy's name. And I have met one female Ezra before, but the majority of folk called Ezra I know are male.

alltouchedout · 05/04/2017 13:56

If you get upset by comments on your name choice, don't mention your name choice.

VestalVirgin · 05/04/2017 13:56

I think you have to take account of the norms where you will bring the child up.

If the norms where you will bring the child up is that women are discriminated against, then naming a girl a boy's name is taking those norms into account.

Just saying.

SirVixofVixHall · 05/04/2017 13:56

Noah for a girl is just giving her a lifetime of teasing and misunderstandings. It is like calling a girl David. I like Ezra but it is very North London popular, which may or may not bother you. (And don't get me started on Yanks calling girls Evan)....

BillSykesDog · 05/04/2017 13:57

If it's annoying you people passing comment after a few weeks imagine how your daughter would feel after a little fetime of it?

araiwa · 05/04/2017 13:58

ask 99.9% of people for their first reaction to noah and ezra and youll get animal boat man and her from frozen( I know that her name is elsa)

pick unusual names , people will react

VeryButchyRestingFace · 05/04/2017 13:58

If patronsaintofglocks is in Israel and Noa/Noah is a common girl's name there, then go ahead and fill your boots, OP.

Otherwise, there is a reason why there are few male children floating around the UK with name 'Jesus', regardless of how popular it is in Spanish speaking countries.

And isn't Miley Cyrus' sister called Noah? That alone would kill it stone dead for me.

goodpiemissedthechips · 05/04/2017 13:58

It is like calling a girl David.

Well it's not really; it's more like calling a girl Robin.

Emily7708 · 05/04/2017 13:59

Please don't call your baby girl Noah! There are so many beautiful culturally Jewish names for girls. How about Naomi or even Noya.

As this is your first baby you have no idea of how annoying it will be if you give her a typically male name - the constantly correcting people verbally, the forms always being wrong, all the professionals involved in her care throughout her life assuming she's a boy. It will confuse everyone you meet. A good friend changed her daughter's name after she started preschool (from Charlie to Charlotte) as she couldn't take it anymore.

ScarletSienna · 05/04/2017 13:59

Please remember that its not you that is going to have a name growing up that almost everybody will say is a boy's name. She won't care that you've found somewhere where it was used for a girl after the 50th time she's been asked if her parents had hoped for a son (as happened to a friend called Stacy who kept getting asked if his parents secretly wanted a daughter).