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AIBU?

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Original poster

Upset about critiscm of unborn child name.

529 replies

patronsaintofglocks · 05/04/2017 13:22

To cut a long story short,

I am pregnant with my first child and DP and I have chosen two names.

For a girl: Noah
(I understand that many people prefer the spelling Noa for a female but we don't.)

For a boy: Ezra

I am sick and tired of my family telling us to change our minds/names. It's getting me down and making me second guess myself.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
SSR24479 · 05/04/2017 23:19

I wouldn't call a girl Noah, maybe Nora would be better suited.

Floggingmolly · 05/04/2017 23:34

Or Nola?

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2017 23:37

I can't get my head round people thinking the name of the central character in a story about god drowning nearly all of the humans and animals on earth is a nice name for a child of either sex. The other thing the biblical Noah did, iirc, was get into a very unfair strop with one of his sons after inappropriate drunken behaviour. Confused

DingDongtheWitchIsDangDiddlyDe · 05/04/2017 23:43

Lots of names have unsavoury links, if you got rid of all the names that did you'd have fuck all names left.

JayneAusten · 05/04/2017 23:47

It's up to you what you name your child.

If you're this upset about comments and the child isn't even born it may be wise to reconsider. If you choose an unusual name (as I did) you have to be 100% sure that you're ok with constant comments, people getting it wrong etc. Believe me, it's neverending. Fortunately I give zero fucks and had a cast iron reason for choosing the (beautiful) name. You don't sound like you have a great reason nor a thick skin so I urge you to reconsider before your head explodes somewhere around her 2nd birthday.

5OBalesofHay · 05/04/2017 23:52

I wouldn call anyone Noah, especially a girl.

Graphista · 06/04/2017 00:01

Not rtft so might be repeating.

Children with unusual names have it hard trust me! It's not you that has to live with it - it's them.

Personally I like both names for a boy though not a girl.

Fwiw Ezra is likely to become VERY popular in next 5-10 years, because of the character in PLL (who has become romanticised but is basically a weirdo sex offender!) plus the association with the delightful Hmm Ezra pound!

Plus tbh this is just the start, as a parent and especially a mother every decision you make is critiqued.

LinaBo · 06/04/2017 00:06

I have two girls with (most commonly used for) boys' names in my brownies pack and I am sure that even if people don't say it out loud, you can see in their faces they're thinking "why?"

KlondikeBar · 06/04/2017 00:13

Ezra is a very popular boy's name. Apparently the most popular for the last two years;

www.today.com/parents/these-baby-names-are-most-popular-2016-so-far-t100520

Is the objection to it that it's 'trendy'? I don't see that as an issue myself and quite like the name.

I'm sorry that I agree with the bulk of the thread re. Noah though.

wantsomecoffee · 06/04/2017 01:11

noah can be a girls name, dont worry do what you like. Noah Cyrus for example is a girl

Charlieandthechocolatecake · 06/04/2017 01:50

DS2 is called Ezra. We're originally from South London but live in Bristol now. Never had anything but positive comments. DS1 is called Eli. We're not Jewish, were Christian.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 06/04/2017 01:54

I think they'll be a few raised eyebrows at Noah plus your DD choosing her own name as a teenager then changing it when legal. I've seen this happen with teenagers!

Adarajames · 06/04/2017 03:13

Poor op coming to escape family's unwanted reactions to name choices only to have hundreds here giving her far more grief! I used to teach in a local SE London primary school, so many wonderful / weird / lovely / odd / multi cultural names had to learn to spell / pronounce, neither of these names for either gender would even raise a flicker of an eyebrow!

Paninotogo · 06/04/2017 03:45

Have you posted about this before? Multiple times? This seems like both the world's first pregnancy and the world's longest pregnancy. Don't tell people the name before birth. Simple.

Buck3t · 06/04/2017 06:35

Have caught up with the thread this morning. This is what I've learnt. If 75 (i didn't count) people say they agree with OP's family, then OP should change the names she loves for her child. When OP, thank you deadstrong, asked how to deal with their opinions, she didn't ask for ours. Maybe we should read the original post?

That if someone hasn't heard of a (rather popular) name being used for a girl, then it shouldn't be used. Okay then.

That after having my first child 15 years ago I haven't heard of a single boy child being called Noah, but I went to school with 2 of them 35 years ago. My old boss did call his second child Noa though, which was about 13/14 years ago. Would love to know where these little Noahs are based male or female.

As I mentioned yesterday on another thread. Try being black with a very Scottish first and surname and turning up for job interviews. And literally watching their face drop in front of you. Then having to explain the name. Explaining a male spelling, not so difficult. But I guess everyone's journey is different.

MaisyPops · 06/04/2017 06:43

Buck3t
All people were saying is that in this case there may be a reason people gave opinions.

If a friend told me a name id not give any opinion unless there was somrthing like what people have said here eg odd spellings, names being confused like a typiclaly boy name fkr a girl.

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2017 06:55

"r. If you choose an unusual name (as I did) you have to be 100% sure that you're ok with constant comments, people getting it wrong etc. Believe me, it's neverending. Fortunately I give zero fucks"

It is extraordinary that it doesn't seem to have crossed your mind that your child will have 80 years of "constant comments, people getting it wrong etc." And that he or she may well be the sort of person who gives many fucks...........

PenelopeFlintstone · 06/04/2017 07:03

I'm also Jewish. I know lots of girls called Noa and none called Noah. I honestly don't understand why you'd consign your daughter to an easily avoided lifetime of being asked stupid questions about her name if it's already annoying you now.
This.

Buck3t · 06/04/2017 07:15

Maisypops my point is. She asked how to deal with commentators, not for a new host of commentators. If you agree with her family, fine, but 18 pages of opinions about the names versus probably two pages explaining to the OP that she probably shouldn't let them know the names next time or telling them after birth when it's a done deal.

Riversleep · 06/04/2017 08:05

Yes, especially when the easiest way to deal with it would be to drop the 'h' and say no not the boys name, it's Noa. I have a completely made up name. It helps that I'm Indian descent so people assume it's cultural when it's not, and it's clearly a girls name. I don't even bother correcting the 20 or so different spellings now Grin

ErrolTheDragon · 06/04/2017 08:10

Perhaps the first piece of advice should have been, don't post on AIBU if you don't want people to tell you what they really think. There's a Baby Names topic - although posts there are often quite opinionated too, there wouldn't have been the volume.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 06/04/2017 08:18

Snork "Will nobody think of the children?"*
*
Indeed. I always feel sad when there are 3 of each name in a class. Do parents not think their children are special enough to deserve more than a bog standard Top 10 name?
'That will do'.
Imagine conversations in the future. 'Where does your name come from?'
'Oh my parents were too scared not to follow the crowd. Daddy blindfolded Mummy and she pointed to a list of the top 10. I got Imogen.'
How sad.

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2017 08:21

No. The first piece of advice should have been- naming a child should not about the parent-it should be about the child, and the adult who will have that name for 90 years. The worst possible piece of advice is the uniquitious "just introduce your baby as Teapot-people will soon get used to it"

TiggyD · 06/04/2017 08:58

Exactly Bert. It's GIVING a name. When you give people something you don't think "I like this so I'll give it too them.". You think "Will the person I'm giving this to like it?"

There are several posters who suggested naming a child would be a magnet for bullies -
That is a victim blaming over reaction!

Bullying shouldn't happen, but it does.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 06/04/2017 09:51

Bullies will find something to pick out to bully over. My concern is more about the inevitable gender confusion of a highly popular boys name and a lifetime of correcting people.

Acceptance of names varies widely. MN is probably on balance more adventurous. I can think of schools within a 10 mile radius where names will be biased towards the traditional and safe, middle class bohemian, or working class creative depending on the catchment. The reception of a name will vary in those different areas. However the 80% level of criticism on this thread does not bode well for an easy life whether people verbalise it or conceal their opinion.