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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snogging on the Tube

30 replies

UpsyDaisy123 · 05/04/2017 09:33

I am seeing someone new who likes to get very lovey dovey in public, particularly on the tube. We are both in our 30s.

To be honest I've always thought it a bit naf and slightly distasteful when fully grown adults snog on the tube. It's one thing for teenagers who live at home and perhaps genuinely don't have anywhere else to go. Or maybe couples who are saying goodbye for a very long time and go to do it discreetly in a corner late at night. But none of these things are the case here. He is keen to do it on trains and in the middle of a big crowds waiting for lifts where there is a captive audience, plus at the bottom of the escalators with people going by watching us in both directions.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MommaGee · 05/04/2017 09:35

Neither of you are in principal. I don't much care if I see people snogging.
However if you don't want to, don't. Tell him you don't feel comfortable doing it in public. Perhaps compromise on a peck or holding hands or a cuddle.

Shoxfordian · 05/04/2017 09:36

If you feel uncomfortable with it then you need to mention it to him in a kind way

Something like " I love kissing you but I'm not comfortable with public displays of affection, can we tone it down a little when out and about"
Keep your voice light and happy; just advise him that's how you feel

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 05/04/2017 09:38

There was a couple sitting behind me on the train yesterday.

It was cringeworthy , the kissing lip smacking sounds they were making.

highinthesky · 05/04/2017 09:45

Agree with you 100% OP.

Goldfishjane · 05/04/2017 09:57

As someone who isn't fussed about PDAs
He sounds like an exhibitionist from what you've said.

StarryIllusion · 05/04/2017 10:01

I hate lip smacking noises. You could both fuck off if I had to stand next to you. Same with bottom of escalators. Anyone who stands at the bottom of an escalator deserves to be run over by hordes of shoppers. Just get out of the fucking way. Can you tell I'm not feeling particularly tolerant today.

Cocklodger · 05/04/2017 10:06

I hate seeing PDA Blush Blush
Miserable bitch here Grin I wouldn't like to see it so I won't do it.

Catsize · 05/04/2017 10:07

Yuck. Sounds like a bit of an exhibitionist! In these situations, I try to remind myself we need to see more love in the world whilst simultaneously trying not to vomit

dangerrabbit · 05/04/2017 10:09

YANBU

maddiemookins16mum · 05/04/2017 10:10

Eurggghhh, get a room! (and a new boyfriend). He's being weird.

Original poster
UpsyDaisy123 · 05/04/2017 10:20

Thanks all. He was like this from Date 2. In truth I'd rather he waited a couple of weeks and showed a bit of restraint until the going-to-each-other's-places stage. I like to feel I properly know someone and can relax with them a bit before they go shoving their tongue in my mouth, although that's probably considered quite a prudish view these days.

Apologies if it was me you saw Chardonnay!

OP posts:
floraeasy · 05/04/2017 10:26

He is keen to do it on trains and in the middle of a big crowds waiting for lifts where there is a captive audience, plus at the bottom of the escalators with people going by watching us in both directions

Look out!

He could be an exhibitionist - forever pushing you to do stuff outside your comfort zone.

If this is not you, explain to him it isn't ever going to happen. If showing-off is more important to him than your feelings and being alone with you when you are kissing, then it's time to part company.

The fact he's in his 30s and still feels PDAs are very important to him, is worrying. As you say, it's not like you are teens and have nowhere else to go. It seems the exhibitionism is a huge part of the attraction for him.

Original poster
UpsyDaisy123 · 05/04/2017 10:37

floraeasy, he's close to 40 actually.

OP posts:
floraeasy · 05/04/2017 10:41

Wow, OP.

I think this is a little strange.

How is he generally with you?

Is he forceful about the PDAs? I mean, does he go on and on about it? Does he even try to understand your feelings too?

user1489179512 · 05/04/2017 10:43

Even the majority of teenagers would be too cool to behave like this in public.

WorraLiberty · 05/04/2017 10:53

Oh god, just no.

Honestly, teenagers used to do that sort of thing in the 80s and 90s, but I genuinely haven't seen it since then.

As user says, even the majority of teens see PDAs as really uncool.

If you don't want to do it OP, then just don't.

I know I bloody wouldn't, no matter how much I liked him.

NavyandWhite · 05/04/2017 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 05/04/2017 11:00

Yuck.

Goldfishjane · 05/04/2017 11:08

What, you're not even comfortable with him and he does this? Ditch, he does it on purpose I reckon.

Original poster
UpsyDaisy123 · 05/04/2017 11:19

I'm not actually saying I'm not comfortable with him Goldfishjane but we've only been on four dates so I feel like I don't know him very well yet. For a start, I have no idea of his history and I am looking for a keeper.

OP posts:
SquatBetty · 05/04/2017 11:22

Oh that's grim - a nearly 40 year old as well. Something really not right there, OP.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/04/2017 11:35

He's not a keeper.

Original poster
UpsyDaisy123 · 05/04/2017 11:37

Perhaps he's just come out of a long long-term relationship and is on the rebound. Who knows?

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 05/04/2017 11:39

If you're snogging at the bottom of the elevators I'm surprised you haven't been knocked over by people rushing for a tube!

MommaGee · 05/04/2017 11:45

Perhaps he just wants to show you how keen he is and doesbt know how. Is this his first foray into dating x

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