Missing boy found under bed

[LovelyBath77]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648?ocid=socialflow_facebook&ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbcnews&ns_source=facebook

How bizarre! that he was;t found under the bed and that the first thing was school phoning to say he hadn't turned up! Would;t you notice if your child hadn't got up and had breakfast?

There is a sheet on the mattress, it has just rode up, you can see it as its a different colour to the duvet cover. She most probably makes them make their own beds. I do too as I think it gives them independence and room to be a bit more responsible.

I would expect mine to wake me too but there are older children in the house and maybe their house runs in a different way. Maybe she'd just done a night shift. Nobody actually knows but making the assumption that everbodies lives are like your own and run to your own exacting standards is naive.

I'm quite amused my housekeeping skills have been bought into question by people on this thread :o

"I could hear people looking for me and I thought I had better stay quiet because when they found me I would get shouted and bawled at so I just stayed where I was."

What a shit!

This story was on Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 today and the Mum didn't want to come on air because she'd received abuse on social media.

That poor woman.
Unless you have been in the situation of waking up and not being able to find your 9 year old child, then you have absolutely no way of predicting how you would react.

ollieplimsolls *"I could hear people looking for me and I thought I had better stay quiet because when they found me I would get shouted and bawled at so I just stayed where I was."

What a shit!*

Poor kid doesn't sound like a 'shit' to me. Sounds like he is used to being 'shouted and bawled' at. Probably something going on at school that he was trying to avoid. If the kid is neglected enough that his mother assumed he had just got himself up and got to school while she was still in bed (so a regular thing obviously) at 9 when he wasn't at home when she finally got up, then I wonder if he feels that nobody really cares.

Basic parenting to get up with your DC and make sure they are fed, washed, dressed and prepared for their day at school isn't it?Especially at primary school.

I hid so as not to go to school due to being bullied. My mother still dragged me to school straight afterwards. Bullying continued.

What a big moral panic about nothing. Oooh a bedroom with a bit of fluff on the floor - get real people!!!

Poor woman - a widow AND mother of eight. Not surprised she didn't find him. Im pulling out my hair with three most days

She obviously wasn't concerned at all
That's very assumptive of you. you've no idea how she was feeling.

because my nine year old would no more get himself up, washed, dressed, fed, lunch made and walked the half hour to school without even waking me than he would build a rocket and fly to the moon.
Some 9-year-olds are far more independent than that, especially when he has lots of older siblings and only 1 parent. He probably doesn't live that far from school either.

I don't think the ability to get yourself up and dressed independently at the age of 9 is automatically something to be criticised.

What a shit!
That's a 9 year old boy who has lost his dad that you are talking about.

The floor isn't filthy. It's hardly the stuff of reality TV cleaning shows! Just a bit dusty.

Oooh a bedroom with a bit of fluff on the floor - get real people!!!

Its not a bit of fluff, that carpet is covered in weird black marks, rubbish and what looks like food!

I don't think the ability to get yourself up and dressed independently at the age of 9 is automatically something to be criticised

That isn't what is being criticised. Almost all 9 year olds can and do get up and dressed, but they don't feed themselves, get ready for school and leave the house without even saying good morning to a sleeping parent!
You know that isn't normal, whether you pretend not to judge or not!

Weird black marks, rubbish and food - yeah.

So lets just judge.

Lets not pretend we don't, at least.

Why assume that? Most people who live in dumps do so because they made them into dumps.

I rent. We replaced the carpets that couldn't be cleaned, we didn't just live in filth because that is what was there.

I come to no automatic judgements at all. There isn't enough information to be able to and I genuinely don't judge people that easily or quickly.
I definitely don't judge her on a small section of carpet!

I can absolutely see how this situation happened.
Fairly self-sufficient kids at getting up and ready - not surprising in a large family with only one parent. Other siblings getting ready and leaving the house. 9 is younger than average to be that independent but I know several 11 year olds who do that every day so it's not that much of a stretch. Losing a parent can often make children more independent sooner. Big families can have the same effect.
Although my mum was there, I was definitely getting myself up, washed, dressed, fed and walking to school without any help from her at that age. I'd even chase my sister up if she was being slow. I wasn't neglected at all. If my mum was ill, it would not have been an issue for her to stay in bed.

pp says other siblings don't live in the house, they are much older?

Any nine year old doing all that and leaving for school without even a word from a parent in bed, not even a see you later....neglected. Sugar coat it all you like.

We replaced the carpets that couldn't be cleaned, we didn't just live in filth because that is what was there.
The "we" indicates that you are not a widow and I'm going to take a wild guess that you have less than 8 kids?
I'm also going to assume that you could afford to replace the carpets.
What exactly is the problem with stained carpets? I realise people usually want nice new things but it's not always possible and it's more important to prioritise. Stained carpets have to be low on the priority list when you are on a tight budget.

Many of the comments in this thread are the reason people often avoid the AIBU posts.

So judgemental.

Comment on an interesting story by all means, but please show a bit of humanity and stop short of using one short news story as an excuse to rip someone apart and assume the high moral ground.

Isn't that all beside the point? Who gives a shite about the neglected carpets when there is a neglected child?