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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Missing boy found under bed

148 replies

LovelyBath77 · 04/04/2017 20:09

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648?ocid=socialflow_facebook&ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbcnews&ns_source=facebook

How bizarre! that he was;t found under the bed and that the first thing was school phoning to say he hadn't turned up! Would;t you notice if your child hadn't got up and had breakfast?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 04/04/2017 20:54

The floor is filthy? Grin Have you MET any nine year olds? They seem to have an amazing talent of making pristine bedrooms into a pit at the slightest chance.

He hid for a laugh, thinking nobody would notice, then panicked when he realised police were looking apparently and stayed hidden because he didn't want to be told off. I could quite imagine most boys his age doing exactly the same, TBH.

squishysquirmy · 04/04/2017 21:00

I bet the police and neighbours involved in the search were incredibly relieved when they found him - A missing child case that turns out to be a waste of police time must be the best scenario anyone could hope for.
Can completely understand why they couldn't find him if he was very well hidden though - I don't think that bit is weird.

LuluJakey1 · 04/04/2017 21:00

It isn't just untidy or messy, it is filthy.

squishysquirmy · 04/04/2017 21:04

You can't tell from one photo that it is filthy.
Messy, yes. But it may be that the worst of it is stains that don't come off, coupled with a bit of clutter and 9-year-old mess. You don't know. Like a pp said - she is a widowed mum of 8. Her son has just been found. Stop condemning her on the internet for poor housekeeping skills.

NaiceBiscuits · 04/04/2017 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 04/04/2017 21:08

I have children this age and can't imagine assuming they had gone off to school. before calling the police. It's really odd.

OP posts:
DedicationToSparkleMotion · 04/04/2017 21:09

As I said upthread, her other children are much older and mostly have moved out. IIRC he may be the only school age one left in the house, her getting pregnant was an exciting talking point for people (Hmm) as she was older and the rest of the kids were secondary age. I disagree it's an excuse.

joystir59 · 04/04/2017 21:11

I thought this was really funny. I went to a friend's wedding once. Big group of us travelled to Ireland. On the wedding morning the bride realised one of the bridesmaids was missing. easily done, mislaying people- the church handed out the wrong order of service and all the readings referred to the bride's dearly departed brother Andrew (she didn't have a brother, dead or alive).

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 04/04/2017 21:13

But surely you'd see them in the morning, even if someone else was taking them to school. You;d give them breakfast etc...

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 04/04/2017 21:14

I thought it was messy as they;d taken off the drawer perhaps.

OP posts:
DingDongtheWitchIsDangDiddlyDe · 04/04/2017 21:17

Bit odd to judge someone as a chaotic parent based on not being able to find a hiding child who doesn't want to be found

That isn't really why though, is it?

Bearfrills · 04/04/2017 21:17

But surely you'd see them in the morning, even if someone else was taking them to school. You;d give them breakfast etc..

I don't know. I didn't see my DC before school on Friday morning. I'd been up with the baby so DH didn't wake me, he got the DC ready and took them to school. First I knew of it was when I woke up to an empty house (bar me and the baby) at around 9.10am. If there was another adult in the house and mum was asleep I can see why she might have presumed the other adult had seen to breakfast/school run.

DingDongtheWitchIsDangDiddlyDe · 04/04/2017 21:19

You had another parent in the house, this woman didn't, so hardly the same thing.

StealthPolarBear · 04/04/2017 21:19

Bear it's a bit different when there's another parent about surely?

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2017 21:22

And the floor is filthy in the photos.

They'd taken the draw off and tipped the bed up.

Bearfrills · 04/04/2017 21:23

I thought one of the adult children was in the house?

Starlight2345 · 04/04/2017 21:26

I have a 9 year old..I cannot imagine he might get himself to school if I overslept. He would be playing the X box with the volume down so as not to disturb me.

I can't make a judgement not knowing the family set up, who does breakfast, do the older kids take him to school...No idea really.

splendide · 04/04/2017 21:28

Omg my brother did exactly this in about 1987. He was younger though, about 5 I think. He'd pulled a drawer out from under a bed, got in and managed to shut it again from the inside by pushing up against the underside of the bed.

We didn't call the police but nearly j think. I was about 9. My mum was in tears I remember but she was pretty sure he had to be somewhere in the house.

Hes an accountant now

JayneAusten · 04/04/2017 21:29

I find the photos in the press really odd. Him smirking away.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 04/04/2017 22:23

I'm one of 8, it can get pretty hectic. When i still lived at home whoever was in the kitchen gave the little ones breakfast and if kids were ready when me or the other older ones left for school/college/work we'd often take them to school while mum was getting herself ready/sorting other kids, we just used to shout up the stairs 'bye mum, I'm taking 4 &5 to school.' It says in the article his brother is 20, so there are other adults in the house, maybe they have a similar system.

Mostly our system worked but 7 went missing once, turns out 5 accidentally locked him in the shed and he'd dozed off. i say accidentally, 5 says it was an accident, I'm not sure it was.

5 was found in the wheelie bin once too (not sure if i know Wish) but no one looked for him, he just gave me a heart attack when i took the rubbish out, apparently he'd been waiting in there for over an hour, he was quite offended we hadn't noticed.

LuluJakey1 · 04/04/2017 23:02

She said she hoped he had gone to school when she realised he was not in the house, but she didn't check. The school rang her later on to say he wasn't there. And the floor IS filthy. I am not madly houseproud or obsessed with cleaning but I would not let DS sleep in a room with a carpet that dirty.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 04/04/2017 23:08

I have 9 year old. I would never assume he had just gone to school! Sorry, but lone parent or not, that is just shit.

Salmotrutta · 04/04/2017 23:17

I see a carpet with some detritus (bits and pieces of fluff/crayon/paper/whatever) but it doesn't look filthy to me Hmm

But let's focus on that rather than the actual story eh?

I'm sure lots of determined kids can hide successfully to dodge school and I can well imagine that even if I just had 4-5 kids at home I'd have been run ragged and thought one of them had left for school.

innagazing · 04/04/2017 23:58

Blimey! So many horrible judgey pants on here! She woke up and realised he was missing! She knew straight away he wasn't there, but can't be expected to know he's he's deliberately hiding in the house!

She searched for him, didn't find him (because he didn't want to be found) and reported him to the Police by 9.15 when it was apparent that he hadn't turned up for school.
She did what she thought she should do, and that was reasonable.This is a non story!
LuluJ - the carpet is filthy? Really? obviously the cleaner hasn't just hoovered, but there's no way you can say the carpet is filthy!

ShoesHaveSouls · 05/04/2017 00:09

I would say it is 'chaotic' to not be up, giving your child breakfast, and packing them off to school tbh - but then, if this mum has 8 dc and is widowed, I don't want to judge because I have no idea what that's like. But I know where my 9yr old, and my other 2 dc are the whole time before school.

Btw - the bed hasn't had a drawer removed - we had that bed when DD was little. There are 2 sliding doors, you can pull them across, from either side, to get to either side of the storage space. One of the doors had been slid over the other. A child could easily hide very well in that space and not be found unless you pull everything out.

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