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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think these women are arseholes?

482 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 03:35

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

OP posts:
NotYoda · 04/04/2017 10:11

I will admit that I am not robust enough to go one these kinds of breaks. IME they have always resulted in factions forming, competitiveness over who is the best friend, and gentle teasing that ends up feeling a little too intense. And I am 47.

It's unrealistic to think that at least one person in a group of 10 is not going to rub you up the wrong way, whether that's their issue or yours. I'd rather just avoid.

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Botanicbaby · 04/04/2017 10:12

Just email your hourly rate to the group chat and stay good humoured about this. Don't read too much into it. She's not your good friend anyway.

Don't make a mountain out of a molehill like some of the others from the weekend seem to want to do.

You tried to help the hotel staff, fair enough.

However, stacking plates and scraping food in restaurants is really annoying.

Contrary to what you may think this can be more of a hindrance than a help as restaurants have trained their staff to clear plates and quite often helpful public haven't a clue how it should be done.

PollyPerky · 04/04/2017 10:12

I think you are over-reacting OP.
It was a joke.
Maybe it hit a nerve.

I agree with a pp who said maybe join the messaging and just say you had a great weekend. Rise above the banter ( which is a bit PA in the sense they aren't sure if you read it or not but it's a joke nevertheless at your expense.)

Stripping beds in a hotel is not the norm. I think some people may do it if they don't want any 'evidence' to be so obvious to the cleaners. But you are paying for your room and the cleaning of it.

I strip beds on self catering houses if the owners leave instructions asking for that. Though once I wished I'd not as the state of the mattress cover underneath made me never want to sleep in the bed again.

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 10:13

Navy

I agree with your last post.

shyturnip · 04/04/2017 10:14

What else did Laura say?

Have to say it sounds like she's winding you up. TBH.

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 10:14

I also think Paula is a bitch

NotYoda · 04/04/2017 10:16

The film Bridesmaids has popped into my head too - with the OP as Kirsten Wiig and Paula as Rose Byrne

bigmack · 04/04/2017 10:16

Paula sounds like a bully.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 10:17

Navy what unpleasant remarks have I made about her?

Not saying you were unjustified Fly but you have included her in your arsehole descriptor and called her a pretentious bore of a woman. I say again, you may well be justified in that if if you don't think that's nasty I would hate to be on the receiving end of what you do call nasty (PLEASE don't treat that as a challenge)

And I am totally on team don not stack my plates at the tabele please!

Jux · 04/04/2017 10:17

I was brought up to always strip the bed and leave a tip, too. I think it's what one did in the pre-war era when one was treated more as a guest than as a commodity.

DH got me out of the habit.

Serialweightwatcher · 04/04/2017 10:19

I can be a bit of a wind up sometimes, but not in a nasty way I don't think ... I would personally take that as they are trying to bring you into their group more and teasing, but I don't get offended easily. Not saying it's wrong how you feel, but I would see it as a laugh. It's difficult when different personalities clash but I don't think they're trying to hurt you - I think they're trying to make you feel like one of them ... I could be wrong

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 10:20

Could my last post have been any more mistyped d'ya think?

welovepancakes · 04/04/2017 10:21

Why did Laura feel the need to share this with you? How could that help anyone?

FeralBeryl · 04/04/2017 10:21

We had a lengthy plate etiquette thread a while ago - it was delightfully heated.

With mediation I think we came to the compromise that moving the plates to an accessible 'bit' for the server to collect was ok but piling and snatching them off people was Not On. Grin

ItsAMessyLife · 04/04/2017 10:22

I wouldn't have told OP that she had been the butt of jokes, so I agree with you there. But I think it's odd that so far you've pulled up the OP, another random poster and now Laura for some perceived wrongdoing or another, but never Paula.

CivicBlue1 · 04/04/2017 10:23

Haven't rtft yet.
When I was younger I worked as a chambermaid in a travel inn style hotel. It always made me smile when the guests had taken it upon themselves to strip the bed. We weren't given a massive amount of time to turn rooms around so if someone had stripped the bed etc it helped massively.

I ALWAYS strip the beds when we've stayed in hotels. I think it's a lovely thing to do, my dh and dd roll their eyes when I start stripping beds.

Op, on behalf of housekeeping staff and a younger me Thank you.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 10:23

Thanks Feral...you have saved me several hours of my life with that summation or I WOULD have had to look it up!

Original poster
Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 10:23

No, Navy, Laura isn't a shitstirrer. She has told me because she intends to confront Paula about her comments. Because she's loyal and not a massive twat.
She knows it won't upset me to hear that I've been the butt of their jokes because they're not my friends so their opinions aren't my concern.
I would like to ask why it would bother anyone that I choose to strip my bed in hotels and stack the plates in restaurants?

OP posts:
WizardOfToss · 04/04/2017 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 10:25

And you know what...I am now thinking I will start stripping hotel beds...even if we aren't leaving. Might mean we get extra helpings of new sheets which is one of life's unparalleled joys

Seriously, never let it be said you can't teach an old bitch new tricks.

Carriecakes80 · 04/04/2017 10:26

My Mum worked at a hotel for years, and because of this, I like to strip the beds off and collect all the dirty laundry too lol, I think that it means nothing to me, and it might save a wee bit of time for someone else! So I would n't think you were mad! :-) I do think they were rude, but maybe they do know you are on the messaging list, and think you'll join in the banter! If it were me, I would say something like 'Oi! I'm too expensive for you lot! ;-)' and if they ignored me, then know they were being cruddy, if they laugh and the conversation carries on, they really might see you as part of the crew! Some people are over familiar, I don't like it personally, I think teasing rights have to be earned, but not all think the same! You ain't weird though, well, not in my books! lol

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 10:29

I think teasing rights have to be earned

In one simple aphorism this sums up the universal law of friendship. Love it Carrie

Goldfishjane · 04/04/2017 10:30

OP I think they were very rude
Sorry if I missed it but I have a feeling if you told Paula you used to be a chambermaid she'd be shocked. She sounds like an ex friend of mine, incredibly snobby and never thought that actual people do those jobs.