Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

To think DP is being ridiculous

118 replies

reddA · 03/04/2017 00:15

We have completely different ways of parenting which causes issues anyway but this situation is really bugging me!

DP has 3 teens that all go to the same school, they bicker and wind each other up, as kids do. Instead of dealing with the way they behave he takes one on her own and then comes back and takes the other two, it makes the mornings chaotic, rushed and wastes petrol.

I half jokingly said I would post here and I bet no one else would put up with their children wanting separate lifts to the same school - he thinks plenty of people do it!

I wish he'd start being the parent for once instead of picking the 'easy' option of letting them have their own way, it's just going to get worse as they get older :(

AIBU to think he should just tell them to behave themselves, treat each other with respect or walk/bus to school instead of pandering to them?

OP posts:

Report

AmysTiara · 03/04/2017 08:39

He's bonkers. I'd be making them walk if they couldn't shut up for the duration of the car journey

Foldedtshirt · 03/04/2017 08:40

Utterly ridiculous. And completely unheard of.

Fairylea · 03/04/2017 08:40

Utterly ridiculous!

We live very rurally and it's completely normal for teens to have to walk 2-3 miles to school. If they can't bare to be in the same car make them walk!

ohfourfoxache · 03/04/2017 08:44

What an idiot

He's being played.

He needs to step up and actually parent- what the hell are separate lifts teaching them about the real world?

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 03/04/2017 08:49

Does he always take the same child on their own? Could it be that they're are having issues and this is the only time they get to talk?

This is the only reason it would make sense, otherwise it is bonkers.

WatchHowISoar · 03/04/2017 08:52

Yanbu how weak is he??? I'd make the ones being pains walk, if that's all then they all walk.

IdaDown · 03/04/2017 08:55

If he wants to do this, let him - his petrol, his stress levels, his inconvenience.

However, I wouldn't be adjusting my DC's school run to accommodate.

Westfacing · 03/04/2017 08:59

When I said that he should take them all together he did say he would 'ask them' ......

I've only just noticed this bit - no wonder you're frustrated OP!

Taylor22 · 03/04/2017 09:05

What a Larry arse your OH is!
I bet his offspring are just charming. He's setting them up to fail!
Nobody else in their future are going to pander to their ridiculous demands.
Tell his special snowflakes to suck it up

melj1213 · 03/04/2017 09:06

YANBU ... the only person I know who does multiple school runs to the same school is my friend who has two DC, one in Yr7 and one in Yr11 and it only happens once a week in bad weather. The Yr11 does a lot of extra curricular activities and one is before school. Most days it's his responsibility to get himself there early for the activity and his brother gets dropped off enroute to his mum's work. However, if it's bad weather (or shes feeling generous) rather than forcing him to walk first thing in the morning, with all his kit for half a dozen activities, or make his Yr 7 brother go in excessively early bc she is only doing one school run, she does two school runs but only because it is convenient, a one off and because it suits her.

Presumably, whilst your DH's teens aren't bffs, they manage to live in the same house as each other so they should be able to manage five minutes together in the car on the school run. If they can't, they are welcome to walk instead.

MaidenMotherCrone · 03/04/2017 09:11

Completely going against the grain here but......if it works for him and it works for them and he's not complaining I'd just let him crack on. If he's asking you to do it then that would be unreasonable. My DP has different ideas to me regarding parenting but my DCs are MINE and I'll do as I see fit. I don't get the whole ' not doing right' opinion, you do what suits you for yours and let him do what suits him for his.

tigermoll · 03/04/2017 09:11

Please, please DON'T "accidentally" be late back with the car in an attempt to force all the kids into one car. It's pathetic and pass-agg and won't fix anything or "make a point". It will just make you seem like another bickering teenager, I'm afraid.

Yes, making two trips is unnecessary, and I'm sure you'll find hundreds of posters prepared to back you up. But I still don't see why it's any hassle FOR YOU, except in this one-off (I assume it's a one-off?) case where you have to drive your DC to school a bit earlier than usual.

Unless this is symptomatic of a wider issue, then I think you should let them get on with it. It's not going to be forever -- with three teenagers it can't be long before one of them leaves school anyway.

Fairenuff · 03/04/2017 09:17

What did they say when he asked them?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 03/04/2017 09:21

Op's dp - you need to grow a pair and start parenting your dc -
Disney parenting is not the way to go for well balanced, well adjusted dc. .

LizzieMacQueen · 03/04/2017 09:24

I think the arrangement is ridiculous but you are the step-parent; his decision how he parents.

Moussemoose · 03/04/2017 09:27

Precious prince and princesses getting lifts! Global warming, teenage obesity crisis, rising asthma rates.
They should walk or use public transport.
Two journeys - beyond ludicrous.

DancingLedge · 03/04/2017 09:32

The ridiculous lifts are just that.

The potentially damaging unresolved family dynamic is surely the big issue here.

usernamealreadytaken · 03/04/2017 09:33

I have two teenage boys that fight like anything, 2ish miles to school and I take them most days. Younger has borderline ADHD and on the few occasions he has been given the responsibility of getting to school on his own he didn't always make it on time so now I tend to drive my two and another boy from just up the road; I have to go to work anyway and it's cheaper to drive both and take another than to pay their bus fare.

The only time they would get separate lifts is if one had to be in school much earlier, for a trip or extra lesson.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 03/04/2017 09:34

I would NOT be in a relationship with such a wet lettuce! What are you thinking?!

halcyondays · 03/04/2017 09:38

No, I've never heard of anyone doing two runs to the same school, that's ridiculous. However I also don't know of anyone whose dc walk 2 miles to school if there is an option of getting a lift.

deadringer · 03/04/2017 09:46

I am on my fourth teen so not clueless and yanbu imo. They need to get on with each other or get themselves to school.

SapphireStrange · 03/04/2017 09:47

Stupid, wasteful and spineless of him.

I think they ought to walk or take public transport in any case. I've no truck with kids being ferried about unnecessarily.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Billben · 03/04/2017 09:48

Absolutely ludicrous. He's making a rod for his own back for the future. He needs to man up and sort his kids out.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 03/04/2017 09:52

Is this NONSENSE repeated at home time???

dear lord what a fucking palaver!

LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt · 03/04/2017 09:55

Absolutely ridiculous. If they're not capable of being in the car together, I would bloody well make them walk. I bet that would sharpen their minds.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.