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AIBU?

To think DP is being ridiculous

118 replies

reddA · 03/04/2017 00:15

We have completely different ways of parenting which causes issues anyway but this situation is really bugging me!

DP has 3 teens that all go to the same school, they bicker and wind each other up, as kids do. Instead of dealing with the way they behave he takes one on her own and then comes back and takes the other two, it makes the mornings chaotic, rushed and wastes petrol.

I half jokingly said I would post here and I bet no one else would put up with their children wanting separate lifts to the same school - he thinks plenty of people do it!

I wish he'd start being the parent for once instead of picking the 'easy' option of letting them have their own way, it's just going to get worse as they get older :(

AIBU to think he should just tell them to behave themselves, treat each other with respect or walk/bus to school instead of pandering to them?

OP posts:

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TheBookIsOnTheTable · 03/04/2017 01:24

If it's just bickering like normal teenage siblings, then why would he feel the need to do this? For a parent to go to this extreme, I'd guess the kids have pretty serious problems with each other.

MiddleClassProblem · 03/04/2017 01:27

Why can't the solo one just sit in the front?

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 03/04/2017 01:27

he thinks plenty of people do it!

Hell no! Seriously - one school run is quite enough!

sallysparrow157 · 03/04/2017 01:33

My other half was one of 3. I asked if his parents would have done this. 'Are you on fucking drugs?' was his response...

ScaredofPigeons · 03/04/2017 01:36

I've never heard of anyone doing this before!

I assume the three teenagers all live together so if they live under the same roof why can't they tolerate each other's company sitting in a car for 30 minutes (I assume the journey cannot be longer than this if their dad does this round trip three times each morning)?!

MangoSplit · 03/04/2017 01:37

I would be very surprised if lots of people do this.

Wikky · 03/04/2017 01:40

YANBU that's very silly.

What he needs to do is buy a Plymouth voyager or similar. One in the front seat, one on the middle seat and one in the back. 😁 HTH

KickAssAngel · 03/04/2017 01:52

They're all teens and it's only 2 miles - the walk will do them good.

BeaderBird · 03/04/2017 02:07

Absolutely insane! I wouldn't imagine there's another parent in the country who does this.

iogo · 03/04/2017 02:13

That is absolutely bonkers! There's no way I would do that. They either sort their shit out or they walk.

There was one morning the other week when my two were arguing and I was driving to DD's school as I was volunteering for the day. DS was so cross with her he took the bus even though I drive past his school too. No skin off my nose but no way would I have done 2 runs!

cariadlet · 03/04/2017 02:17

I think it's pretty strange to do a school run for teenagers in the first place, especially if it's only 2 miles away. My dd's school is 9 and a half miles away and she catches the bus as do all her friends. If it was only a mile or 2 away I'd expect her to either get a bus if the weather was awful or to walk in decent weather.

If he's kind enough to provide a taxi service then he should be only doing 1 school run. His children should either put up with each other or find their own way to school.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/04/2017 02:38

If one of mine refused to travel with the others then the response would be "Ok, I will drive them and you can walk"

No way would I be pissing around making 2 trips! He needs to grow a pair and remember who is the (supposed) adult in this situation.

That said, if he is happy to be taken for a mug then I suppose its up to him but no way should he be doing that if he is using your car. Its already making things more difficult that he needs to use it, these things happen but he should still acknowledge that he is making life a little harder by making his school run journey as short as possible.

I hope he is paying for the petrol!

Oh and YY to it only getting worse as they get older, talk about making a rod for your own back.

AlternativeTentacle · 03/04/2017 03:06

Oh dear. That really is ridiculous. He really needs to start being a parent doesn't he?

DoublyTroubly · 03/04/2017 04:37

Are you sure it's because they argue so much that they don't want to be in the same car or is it that they have very different ideas on what time they want to arrive?

A bit different as we used to get the train, but I used to leave 15min before my sister to go to the same school. I liked to get there early to get myself sorted for the day, whereas she would get there at the last minute so that she could have longer in bed. It would have caused a lot of arguments and made me panic if we had to travel at the same time (we got on fine the rest of the time though)

LindyHemming · 03/04/2017 04:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Westfacing · 03/04/2017 05:05

On the face of it, sounds too ridiculous for words, particularly as they're teens and the school is only 2 miles away.

I can't imagine it's a common practice!

nooka · 03/04/2017 05:09

I only have two teenagers but there is only one ride, and that is only because it's on my way to work.

2 miles is quite a long walk every day, but it would be a very easy cycle. I'd leave them to get on with it by themselves.

2017SoFarSoGood · 03/04/2017 05:18

Ridiculous.

Chottie · 03/04/2017 05:19

OP - how do they get home - does he do two afternoon school runs too?

He is making a rod for his own back. I've never, ever heard of anyone else doing two morning school runs to the same school.

WateryTart · 03/04/2017 05:37

One trip. Anyone not wanting to get in with the others can walk.

notquiteruralbliss · 03/04/2017 06:05

DH regularly does lifts to (and sometimes from) the same school st different times. One DC likes to be st school early and another usually goes in later. He has time and DCs can follow schedules that suit them without one 'making the other late'. On the rare occasion he can't do a double trip, he warns them in advance. It works for us.

MrsTwix · 03/04/2017 06:13

Can you put all 4 in your car, drop off your child and then read the riot act to the other 3? They must know they are taking the piss.

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handsoffmecrownjules · 03/04/2017 06:16

YANBU OP but it doesn't sound to me like this has anything (or much) to do with the taxi service to school and is probably more about your DPs relationship with his kids. You don't say what has gone on in the past or whether his kids are living with you, but it sounds like he is harbouring massive guilt (which is why he's allowing himself to - on the outside at least - be taken for a mug) and that the kids' relationships both with him and with each other needs some work....

chocatoo · 03/04/2017 06:33

It's bonkers. Problem is you need some kind of catalyst to force a change. Maybe having to use your car is that catalyst. Like pp suggested I would make sure you get back too late for 2 taxi runs to happen. Again as ano pp asked, how do they get home?

GnomeDePlume · 03/04/2017 06:36

3 DCs here. All now teen and beyond. No double journey here. Also we have a 'no sniping' rule at all times - strictly enforced.

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