Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

To think DP is being ridiculous

118 replies

reddA · 03/04/2017 00:15

We have completely different ways of parenting which causes issues anyway but this situation is really bugging me!

DP has 3 teens that all go to the same school, they bicker and wind each other up, as kids do. Instead of dealing with the way they behave he takes one on her own and then comes back and takes the other two, it makes the mornings chaotic, rushed and wastes petrol.

I half jokingly said I would post here and I bet no one else would put up with their children wanting separate lifts to the same school - he thinks plenty of people do it!

I wish he'd start being the parent for once instead of picking the 'easy' option of letting them have their own way, it's just going to get worse as they get older :(

AIBU to think he should just tell them to behave themselves, treat each other with respect or walk/bus to school instead of pandering to them?

OP posts:

Report

Bluntness100 · 03/04/2017 06:54

Well it may be unanimous. He's being silly and just pandering. One lift, they all get in the car, end of. Even if they hated each other's guts, they can still be in the car together for a few mins. Not sure what life lesson he is teaching them by pandering to them like this, but it's not a good one.

annandale · 03/04/2017 07:01

Sorry I can't imagine driving teenagers 2 miles every single day. How do they get back again? Can't they just do that?

Having said that, it makes me wonder whether they have actually assaulted each other or something. He needs to sort something else out because of the car issue, but I would try to support him to explore what happened that he feels the need to do this.

Gwencooper81 · 03/04/2017 07:02

Hahahhaha I've never heard anything so daft!😂
To be fair my 12 year old gets herself to school most days.. via bus or walking if it's nice. That's about 1.5/2.0 miles. She gets a lift if it's peeing it down or DH is off of work.

HotelEuphoria · 03/04/2017 07:05

No way, mine would walk that. Set off when they were ready and walk with their own friends, at their own time.

He is a joke.

I cannot believe if he does this he isn't incredibly pampering and subservient in other ways of disciplining them.

Believe me, I have had many many fraught car journeys with teens and have thrown my son out of the car before now and made him walk a mile home, I have refused to have any speaking in the car at all if it couldn't be civil and I have turned round and come home without reaching the final destination. Two trips for an easy life? Nah...

harderandharder2breathe · 03/04/2017 07:14

Yanbu he's ridiculous!

One lift, they get in together or if not they get themselves to school

Sunnyjac · 03/04/2017 07:26

Does he have no care for the environment?! Two trips to one destination!! I used to cycle to school along a dual carriageway. Tell him to get a grip

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/04/2017 07:30

Ridiculous.

JustSpeakSense · 03/04/2017 07:32

That ridiculous, he teaching his DC that their behaviour is acceptable by rewarding them with their own special trips etc.

They need to get themselves sorted and stop bickering long enough to get in the car & get to school on time. His time and petrol is too important to be wasted. He needs to put his foot down this arrangement is bonkers!

CaptainBraandPants · 03/04/2017 07:33

My two walk 1.6 miles to school everyday, so I'm another who doesn't see the need of one trip, let alone two.
However, if I am leaving for work at a similar time to when they would leave, I will give any DC who want a lift one as I pass their school. One lift and when I am ready to leave, that's it. And if they are bickering, I threaten to leave them, although I never have had to yet.

Doilooklikeatourist · 03/04/2017 07:34

I'm amazed that teenagers need to be taken to school , why don't they walk or get the bus ?
I'm guessing there is no bus , in which case they should just be advised to get in the car together , no way would there be 2 trips to the same school

Itaintme · 03/04/2017 07:36

Make them walk or get the bus.

BigGreenOlives · 03/04/2017 07:41

I confess to having done this about twice - one child has an early sports practice, needs to be at school at 7:15, don't like a 12 year old to be walking to the tube before 7am in the winter, second child has a bake sale or awkward piece of homework to carry in - a model of a planet or of a cell. Those are the only circumstances under which 2 lifts are necessary. Or I suppose an early practice for one & the other going on a school trip so having a suitcase...

bookwormnerd · 03/04/2017 07:42

How silly and a waste of petrol. They should learn to get on. It will be a good lesson that even if you dislike people you need to tolerate them. Your partner shouldent be feeding in to the bickering. There will be many times they meet someone in life they dislike and they wont be able to say they dont want to be neer them. Sitting in a car for 2 miles together wont kill them.

Headofthehive55 · 03/04/2017 07:51

No no no! Secondary children go to school under their own steam. And then they can choose who they go with, see, avoid, time they set off...
If it's raining I hand them an umberella...

CPtart · 03/04/2017 07:58

YANBU. My two were bickering the other morning so I tipped them out half way there and drove off.

eurochick · 03/04/2017 08:02

That's pathetic non-parenting. It's rewarding bad behaviour. It's only two miles. Let them all walk. I lived 2 miles from my secondary school and walked it from age 11.

Inertia · 03/04/2017 08:02

Utterly ridiculous. If they can't travel separately they can walk.

This now impacts you as he wants to use your car.

I would do as a PP has suggested- you taken your own teenager first then drop his off. Anyone bickering walks.

Westfacing · 03/04/2017 08:08

The OP mentions bus/walk so there is an alternative!

UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 03/04/2017 08:10

No. That is insane.

My dad did ONE lift to school two miles away for three teens/pre-teens, but only because he was passing it on the way to work anyway. If we weren't in the car when he was ready to leave, we made our own way. And we walked home. If we'd pulled this crap, it would have no lifts.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/04/2017 08:19

Well if they can't get on in the car all together then they can walk to school

ems137 · 03/04/2017 08:20

We had to walk over 3 miles in all weather conditions when we were at secondary school. The only time we'd get a lift is if something happened or we had an appointment or something unusual. Pretty much everyone who lived around us walked too.

Him doing 2 school runs is absolutely ridiculous and the kids need to be told to stop being so silly. One should sit in the front and the other 2 in the back. Him letting them call the shots like that will only cause larger behaviour/diva like problems in the near future

Rainydayspending · 03/04/2017 08:22

Ha ha. No lifts they're bloody teenagers! Should they have to share a journey in a car or on public transport then they should be expected to be civil.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Allthebestnamesareused · 03/04/2017 08:27

2 miles + 3 teens = 3 bikes!

SpringTown46 · 03/04/2017 08:37

That's totally over-indulgent and a cop out from actually parenting.

pictish · 03/04/2017 08:38

Agree it's madness on his part and bloody weak-arsed parenting to boot. I don't know anyone who does this. That's because no one does. Because it's stupid.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.