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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to cheer me up with your emabarrasing hospital stories

106 replies

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 02/04/2017 21:01

I had a general anaesthetic for minor surgery yesterday. I was fine about it. Really calm and chilled.
The Anaesthesiologist came to talk to me. Ding dong!!! very beautiful young man! Wink lucky me.
Off I go into theatre and as I clamber up onto the bed I realised that I needed to fart. No problem, I am a pro at holding them in.
He gives me the drugs and I begin to nod off.
The last thing I remember before slipping into unconsciousness is the most enormous fart noise reverberating around the theatre. BlushBlushBlush

To add to the humiliation, for some reason I woke up sobbing. Not pretty, feminine crying. Oh no! Great, big, ugly, snot bubbled sobs.

Make me feel better please Confused

OP posts:
2tiredtothinkofausername · 02/04/2017 23:51

I once went for a foot X ray and before going in was asked to wait in a room. A little old lady came up to me and informed me that we'd all been told to take our clothes off and put on hospital gowns. Thought it was a bit much for a foot X ray but did it anyway. Some time later the radiologist comes to get me and is like 'why aren't you wearing any clothes?'. To add insult to injury I then had to walk down to the X Ray room with as much dignity as I could muster covering my arse with my hospital gown....Blush

Original poster
WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 03/04/2017 00:10

I love the idea of the littlrbof lady just messing with you all 2tired

OP posts:
Original poster
WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 03/04/2017 00:11

Sweet, little, old

No idea what happened there

OP posts:
2tiredtothinkofausername · 03/04/2017 00:13

She was naked too. Not sure if that makes it better or worse....

Thattwatoverthere · 03/04/2017 00:17

My first and only GA saw me going to sleep pissing myself laughing at how drunk I was and asking the theatre staff not to judge me as I've only ever been pissed at 11am before in Ibiza. Went to sleep laughing at myself. To give them credit they joined in.

Woke up in sobbing hysterics because I wasn't where I left myself (??) and pretty much accused them of stealing my things and possibly stealing me also. Had no recollection of going to theatre at all.

The girl who went down after me came into recovery and also woke up crying which the nurses tried to point out to calm me down in an it's perfectly normal sort of way. We just ended up sobbing at each other across the recovery room. The nurses left us to it.

There was also an awkward smear where the nurse told me about her husband dying very recently. It's hard to convey the right level of sympathy when you've got no knickers on and the person needing the sympathy is looking at your bits with a torch. She was very lovely.

Katie0705 · 03/04/2017 02:06

Oh Winky, I shouldn't laugh but you have a fantastic way if telling a story! I do apologise, I thought the uncontrolled farting had upset you!! Waking up sobbing is not unusual although its not nice to experience. I do hope you have a speedy recovery and that all these brilliant stirues have cheered you up. Best wishes Katie

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 03/04/2017 02:14

I was performing a transvaginal ultrasound scan on a patient and we were chatting as I was scanning. Then she farted. And it smelt quite bad. She didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. There was a long silence. Then I finished the scan and said some niceties etc and she got dressed and went home.

raspberrysuicide · 03/04/2017 02:30

I broke my leg really badly and was in hospital after having it pinned back together. When ever I needed a wee the nurses would bring me a commode chair with a bowl underneath.
One time it wasn't underneath the hole properly so when I wee'd it went all over the floor and all over the slippers of the woman in the bed next to mine!

Pseudonym99 · 03/04/2017 03:06

I was at my OH medical when the guy from HR who was the apprentice who helped interviewed me popped in. I had literally just been weighed and they were doing my blood pressure and I was sitting there in literally just my knickers. He was about 18 and me 42. I don't know who was more embarrassed - him or me!

SquatBetty · 03/04/2017 08:16

I've told this before but I was in labour with DS and the labour wasn't progressing well. So he had to have a drop of blood taken from his scalp to test the PH level to see if he was in distress or not.

To do this a team of doctors (inc. one very good looking one) had to roll me onto my left side (I'd had an epidural so couldn't move myself plus I was a few stone over weight Blush) then hoick up my right leg over to my left a bit and put it on this wooden stand. The docs then all crowded round my bare arse and one of them inserted something up my vag to take the fetal scalp blood sample whilst having a spectacular view of my bum grapes clustering around my anus. I made DH stand round the front so he couldn't see anything and almost cried with laughter at the whole undignifiedness of it all!

DontPullThatTubeOut · 03/04/2017 19:07

When I was giving birth to our second, I was on my hands and knees ready to push, I whispered that I needed to fart to my partner, and I got the giggles badly, ended up laughing a fart out just as the midwife was looking down there. I kept saying sorry and bringing it up which was probably more embarrassing lol it's was quiet but audible, like a poofff sound.

Lalala82 · 03/04/2017 19:27

I went into fast premature labour with dc2, hadn't expected it (29+6) and hadn't shaved my legs for weeks Blush there were other parts that may have not been as neat and tidy as possible and, until we knew it was actual labour I died every time someone had to have a look....!

Leanin15yearsmaybe · 03/04/2017 19:29

Touchy subject as this only happened on Saturday evening!!!

I tripped over an inconveniently placed overnight bag and ended up on the floor, covered in the contents of the bedpan I was carrying (aspirated bile) Infront of a whole bay of patients. It was literally in my hair and everything! I'm bruised like mad today, especially my pride Blush

Mammylamb · 03/04/2017 19:37

Getting an ercp (camera down the throat procedure) I was heavily sedated. But that didn't stop me getting angry with the surgeon and telling him to stop "fannying about and get on with it"

Namesarehard · 03/04/2017 19:37

I have a badly scarred cervix and my homebirth went out the window when I couldn't dilate but waters had gone. I had to go into hospital to be induced as a last resort before a c section.
Midwife knew how much I didn't want a c section so pretty much stuck her hand up me and tore through the scarring to help me. It hurt. I kicked her in chest to get her away and screamed "you're supposed to be a fucking midwife not a fucking vet".
😮 I was mortified after. Bloody worked though baby was out within 10 minutes. I didn't stop apologising. She took it well though and said she'd have done the same.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 03/04/2017 19:44

Twenty past 8 on a school morning, and my dd announced she had nits. 'Oh bother', I said, and mentally allocated that evening to treating dd (and her 3 siblings). Six hours later the school phoned. You know the way they always start the phone call: "Oh, Mrs Matilda, X is fine, but....". Well this time, the phone call didn't exactly go like that as dd's arm was visibly broken.

After an overnight stay, dd was being prepped for theatre. I suddenly realised that the nurse's eyes were following something.... she was tracking a head louse on its morning stroll across dd's head. I was absolutely mortified Blush.

And you try treating head lice when your child is in plaster up to their shoulder Grin.

shakeyospeare · 03/04/2017 19:50

I am crying here!

On my 29th birthday I ended up in the maternity unit after having really strong tightenings that the midwife wanted to get checked out as I was a risk of early labour.

A doctor came in and asked if she could perform an internal examination to see whether I had started to labour or not.

She was gloved up with a bit of KY Jelly whilst the nurse had a torch ready and I chirped, "It's my birthday but I bet this'll be the only action my vagina will see today!"

ADisappearingDreamOfYesterday · 03/04/2017 20:01

Just this very afternoon I have inflicted upon treated my neighbours to an unexpected and close up view of the front of my knickers as my dress blew right up in the wind whilst chatting to them. I didn't have a free hand to pull it down as I couldn't let go of my crutches. So kind of medical relatedGrin

Not quite as bad as the time a midwife requested me to take my clothes off and lie on the bed, while she briefly turned her back to get my notes, I whipped my jeans and knickers off and lay down legs akimbo. As she couldn't contain her Shock face when she turned around, she was forced to explain she had actually said "take your shoes off"

On another occasion I went to maternity unit convinced my waters had broken, for them to explain that actually it was just water from my bath which had...ummm...well you get the picture. The very nice midwife explained amniotic fluid doesn't usually smell like badedas

ellenanora5 · 03/04/2017 20:06

I woke up once screaming and shouting for Bridie, I was going to fight her anywhere anytime anyhow, no holds barred, don't know a Bridie, never met a Bridie but then I got extremely upset that I had insulted Bridie Blush

LittleCandle · 03/04/2017 20:11

I am hideous with anaesthetic, and vomit everything bar my toe nails if I am not left to sleep it off for several hours undisturbed. I always seem to attract student doctors/nurses, and when I went for my second thyroid operation, I had a student anesthetist ask if she could watch my op as she had been told I was 'interesting'... Apparently, my language was really something to behold in the recovery room, but luckily I have no memory of that at all.

During labour with DD2, and going like the clappers, a young student doctor with a very long pony tail was in to watch. He was a lovely guy, but was trying to hold a conversation with me. I suspect I was his first birth. I honestly felt so sorry for him that I tried to follow his questions, honest I did, but by the time the contraction was over, I had forgotten what he had asked and had no breath to reply. The midwife finally told him that 'women in labour don't want to chat to you'. He then tried to sneak out of the door before they could stitch me up, but the midwife was wise to his wiles and he had perforce to stay and watch them repair me.

When DD1 was born, I had horrific bruising down there, and despite the fact it didn't hurt, I had regular examinations each day. We had a load of new students on the ward that week, and they had been told that if they saw anything new to call for a midwife. The midwives were always at my bed! On the day I was getting home, I found myself lying on the bed, knickers around my knees, while 6 doctors, a midwife and a student nurse all stood looking and commenting on the magnificent rainbow colours of my backside!

littleshirleybeans · 03/04/2017 20:15

Crying with laughter here! Sorry, I don't have any of my own to add though I've had a couple of very hot doctors attend to me! Hard not to blush haha
(Nothing embarrassing, just that they were stunningly handsome!)

RhodaBorrocks · 03/04/2017 20:18

I ever shared this before, but it still makes me gigglecringe.

I went for a smear and the nurse greeted me and asked if I was happy for her to perform my smear. I thought she looked familiar, but assumed it was from the last smear I'd had. "Oh that will be fine!" I trilled.

So she's up close and personal with my fanjo, then I hope off the bed, put my clothes back on and go off on my merry way.

At this point I should say I work for the NHS. I got halfway to Costa to buy myself a post-fanjo-scraping treat when the realisation hits me...

...a few years previously she had come to my department to do some bank work for us. For several months.

coldcanary · 03/04/2017 20:21

Midwife came round to check on me as I thought my waters had gone. We went up to the bedroom and just as she followed me in I saw the toy handcuffs from a police play set that DD had lost at some point on the bedside table. She saw them, I know she did. Mainly because she told me that my waters hadn't gone but I needed to not over exert myself for a few days... Blush
Asked by a gynaecologist if some students could observe my colposcopy. No problem I say. 4 of them trooped in as I'm arranging myself into the stirrups, one of whom immediately excused herself as I used to babysit her. I also distinguished myself by asking the consultant to move the monitor around a bit so I could see what they were all looking at. She was lovely about it and I got a guided tour of my own undercarriage which was interesting!

neonrainbow · 03/04/2017 20:25

I one had a tooth out under local anaesthetic. the anaesthetic didn't work however and I screamed the place down. When I came out of the dentist room the entire waiting room was sitting there white faced to see who has been making such a fuss!

listsandbudgets · 03/04/2017 20:31

While in labour and high on gas and air, I asked demanded that the student doctor who'd come to observe marry me then vaguely waved in the direction of DP saying "don't worry about him, he won't mind"

Poor man - my legs were splayed open, my tshirt was covered in vomit and I'd spent the last hour or two either screaming the place down and clinging on to MY gas and air mask resisiting all attempts to remove it.

Oh and it was the first birth he'd observed