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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to cheer me up with your emabarrasing hospital stories

106 replies

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 02/04/2017 21:01

I had a general anaesthetic for minor surgery yesterday. I was fine about it. Really calm and chilled.
The Anaesthesiologist came to talk to me. Ding dong!!! very beautiful young man! Wink lucky me.
Off I go into theatre and as I clamber up onto the bed I realised that I needed to fart. No problem, I am a pro at holding them in.
He gives me the drugs and I begin to nod off.
The last thing I remember before slipping into unconsciousness is the most enormous fart noise reverberating around the theatre. BlushBlushBlush

To add to the humiliation, for some reason I woke up sobbing. Not pretty, feminine crying. Oh no! Great, big, ugly, snot bubbled sobs.

Make me feel better please Confused

OP posts:
MamaHanji · 02/04/2017 22:13

Whilst on gas and air while I was being stitched up after giving birth, I was laughing hysterically and shouting 'stop it' to myself for laughing. All the midwives found it hilarious. I also kept singing 'Peppa pig' and then doing a massive pig snort. I don't know why...

itssquidstella · 02/04/2017 22:15

I had a wisdom tooth out under IV anaesthetic. Lucid but unconscious throughout. Came round to find a semi-circle of nurses standing around me laughing (still not sure why). My then-boyfriend was there to pick me up; as we got home he handed me a small bag. Inside was my extracted tooth. "Oh gross," I said, "why are you giving me that?"

Apparently I'd been very insistent that I should be allowed to take it away with me...

WashBasketsAreUs · 02/04/2017 22:18

Not me but a friend. She had a catheter in and the hospital was very busy. Her bag was filling up with wee but she didn't notice. Somehow it got beyond the point of no return and pow! A tidal wave of wee shot across the ward, taking the slippers of the patient in the next bed with it on a journey of discovery; they didn't stop until they reached the wall. I laughed - lots!

Katie0705 · 02/04/2017 22:20

The emotional state you are in prior to being anaesthetised is usually the same state you will regain consciousness with. Nobody in the anaesthetic room would have taken much notice, as this is just normal as muscles relax. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to let it get you down

TheSecretMrsFairbrother · 02/04/2017 22:20

I ended up having an emergency section under general anaesthetic with DD2.

I am reliably informed by DH that I asked what sex the baby was eleventy billion* times as I was regaining consciousness.

*Possibly an exaggeration

delilahbucket · 02/04/2017 22:25

I went under in floods of tears and came round in floods of tears for a tonsillectomy. I was wheeled through a large proportion of the hospital back to the ward crying and unbeknown to me, my face was left covered in blood. The nurse on the ward tried to play it down but she cleaned me up and it took a while. Hope we didn't pass any children Blush

HollaHolla · 02/04/2017 22:34

I had a couple of ops in quite quick succession. The second one was considerably longer and trickier than expected. I came to slightly in post-op, listening to someone sobbing, and keeping saying 'oh it's so sore, it's so sore'. I thought 'what a baby - I wish they'd shut up'.
Of course - it was me. They sedated me again.....

Starlight2345 · 02/04/2017 22:39

These have made me laugh.

Mine was I had an op, came round on this ovespill ward..

The guy in the next bed had been in Theatre before me. He was offered a drink.. I should across the ward. I'll have a cup of tea.. Nice nurse explains I had to be awake for half an hour before I can have a drink..I said well if I can't have a cup of tea I want Whisky ! I have never even drank whisky..lol

RedDahlia · 02/04/2017 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 02/04/2017 22:41

Wonky the same happened to me as I was being prepped for emergency c-section, everyone in the theatre seemed to go quiet and look at their feet. It was a pretty fragrant one too Sad The worst thing about this happening is that because it happens due to your muscles relaxing, and it's not 'pushed' out like normal, it seems to go on for frickin ever. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 02/04/2017 22:42

Winky pissin' autocorrect.

salsamad · 02/04/2017 22:49

About 20 yrs ago I went into hospital for a sinus op when my DH and I were in the first few months of seeing each other - all very loved up and I was still at the stage of making sure I looked lovely on every date.
The op went well but when I came round the Dr was concerned that even though both nostrils were packed to stop bleeding I was bleeding through a hole high in my nasal cavity and it was draining into right side of my face. They removed the packing (that was horrific, felt like they were trying to remove my brains from up my nose) and they said they'd 'fashion' me something to catch the dripping blood.
That evening when DH came to visit me he saw me sitting up with a complete black and purple face on the right side, swollen nose, black eyes and a huge sanitary towel hooked round my each of my ears and under my nose to catch the blood. He married me the following year Smile.

daisygirlmac · 02/04/2017 22:51

I had an emergency c section after a REALLY long time in labour and my epidural had fallen out so they gave me a new spinal block. I'd been in such a lot of pain for such a long time that I told the anaesthetist he was "juss bloody 'mazin" and then announced to the whole theatre that they weren't to worry, I couldn't feel a thing and then I said "it's brilliant, I'm smacked off me tits" Grin DH was mortified

Itsmeitscathy · 02/04/2017 22:55

I came round from surgery, enquiried as to whether I had any ovaries left and promptly began singing to my gorgeous surgeon.

elliejjtiny · 02/04/2017 22:59

With ds5 I was induced because I had an infection as my waters had been broken 9 days before. Infection turned into sepsis and they called the gorgeous Dr to fish ds5 out of my smelly infected womb. They wrote offensive smell ++ on my notes several times. At the time I was fairly out of it but afterwards I was so embarrassed. The gorgeous Dr was lovely though, came to neonatal a couple of days later to see how Ds was and to apologize for doing an emergency section when I'd wanted a vbac.

ExplodedCloud · 02/04/2017 23:02

I was dosed up on diazepam for a loooong MRI scan. I had removed all my piercings etc but somehow forgot to wear a sports bra.
When the operator realised during the scan he stopped and asked me to remove my bra.
Me : Wahey it's years since I took my bra off for a strange man!
Which was fairly Blush but made worse because DH was sat next to the guy.

Original poster
WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 02/04/2017 23:04

Hahahaha. These are bloody brilliant.

Cafe!! Grin

Katie0705 I definitely didn't wake up in the same mood that I'd gone to sleep. I went out laughing and joking and flirting outrageously with the attractive anaesthetist and woke up sobbing like a baby. I continued to sob all of the way home and then until I fell asleep.
Poor dh didn't know what to do with me and kept asking me if I was in pain. I was but that wasn't why I was crying.

I should have known. I was a bugger on gas and air when having dd and told the theatre staff who eventually gave me an emergency c section how wonderful they were, that they were my best friend and I would love them all forever.

OP posts:
Katie0705 · 02/04/2017 23:04

I have cried with laughter throughout this thread...thank you all, you have cheered me up too!!!!

EyeoftheStorm · 02/04/2017 23:08

I was in premature labour with DS2 and it had been on and off for days. In the middle of the night, the contractions got worse so the registrar, only a young 'un it seemed to me, came to check my cervix.

It was dark and so she had a light that she fitted over head so she had both hands free. To lighten the mood, I said, it's like you're going caving.

Can you believe she never even cracked a smile?

TinfoilHattie · 02/04/2017 23:14

I had my gallbladder out keyhole style a few years ago, surgeon came round the day after to look at the wounds, I forgot I had no bra on so yanked up my PJ top and flashed him my boobs.

Anaesthetic for a recent abdominal op made me very nauseous and I threw up all over the theatre/recovery nurse. She was lovely about it. I was mortified.

TinfoilHattie · 02/04/2017 23:18

Oh and I fainted when a gynaecologist was trying to fit a Mirena and came to with the bed tilted backwards, my head on the floor and my ankles on her shoulders. And I hadn't shaved my legs.

pinkoneblueone · 02/04/2017 23:21

I had an op and afterwards they gave me co-codamol (sp) I'd never had it before and didn't realise that I'd react badly I got up to the loo and the next thing you know i'm coming round with my head down the side of the loo knickers round my ankles with a male nurse running to my aid. I discovered then I'd never take that tablet again Confused

FrancisCrawford · 02/04/2017 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janey50 · 02/04/2017 23:32

cafenoir You mean that you were DTD in a hospital bathroom?! That's disgraceful so funny

guerillastyle · 02/04/2017 23:50

After prolapse surgery earlier this year I got my catheter out but didn't start peeing on my own. After about 6 hours they decided I'd need drained so nurse came with fresh catheter and one of those grey papier-mâché bowls. Draining away fine but it's lasting a looooong time. Nurse starts to panic saying bowl is going to overflow but she's only brought one and there is no suitable receptacle to hand so nothing else for it. I end up lying in bed soaked in my own piss. I'm still very much high on morphine and the whole situation feels surreal. I then had to get out of bed and nurse proceeded to peel my soaking hospital gown off me so I'm standing there stark naked except for my white surgical stockings! It must have been a real treat for her to see my flabby arse shuffling away to the shower. I couldn't stop laughing at the time and even now, though I cringe at the indignity of it all, it still makes me laugh.

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