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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Parents at playground

137 replies

Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 17:47

Hi everyone, Smile

Because it was such a lovely day today we decided to take ds to playground. When we got there, there was 2 boys on swings (only two swings in the entire playground BTW) the one boy got to the swing before ds did, fair enough ds needed to wait his turn etc, that's fine.
Boy 1 was on swing around ten minutes, by this time big queue is building up. Boy 2 was on swing wayyyyyy before boy 1. Boy 1s parents finally called him off and let ds have a turn because he was next (although ten mins was quite a long wait I'm not that overly bothered)
However boy two was on the swing for over thirty minutes! His parents just stood there watching him and not calling him off, whilst theres a big back log of kids waiting...
Husband did say something to them in the end and they completly ignored him. I find this behaviour unacceptable, but maybe it's just me? Aibu? Please be gentle, I'm not looking for a fight honest 😁

OP posts:
paxillin · 03/04/2017 22:01

I still wonder how old the kids are. Toddlers or babies in baby swings, yes, do intervene. Much older than that and half of the playground fun is making friends and negotiating the rules themselves. This may involve queuing if the kids decide this is how it is done or first-come-first-served for however long they wish..

hanr84 · 03/04/2017 22:01

YANBU
Awful playground etiquette. I'd have been a bit miffed too in this situation. The equipment is for everyone to enjoy, not just a handful of children. You have a little turn and then let someone else had a go, not hog it while others miss out.
All these people who 'never queue for swings' but live in very underpopulated areas!

hks · 03/04/2017 22:46

Some parents need to Teach their child manners and that they need to take turns esp if the playpark is busy it's not the first time i have made a comment when a child is hogging the swing or whatever playground aparatus, It's even worse when a parent is standing nearby and does not acknowledge when my child has asked if they can have a turn soon ...it should be 5/10 mins max and then the child join the end of the queueto go on again or go on something else in the park

Deathstarevicki · 04/04/2017 00:04

I just want to know what your actual words to the parents were and their reply 😁

Badgersarefriends · 04/04/2017 07:35

The thing is that 'negotiating the rules' often means the bolshy kids hog the equipment or push the less confident ones around.
It's something you see all the time in playgrounds and would happen in schools if teachers didn't intervene.

There is no way that a shy seven year old is going to bowl up to an eleven year old and ask for a turn.
If life was that easy, bullying would never happen.

Badgersarefriends · 04/04/2017 07:37

If you go to a restaurant and all the tables are booked you don't get to give people a time limit to eat their food so you can sit at the table

Actually at busy times, some restaurants do have a time limit on occupying tables.

Chipshopninja · 04/04/2017 08:14

30 minutes on a swing while there were people waiting?! YWNBU OP!

It's rude.

Also don't see what SEN has to do with it...don't those children need to be taught to share too?

missyB1 · 04/04/2017 08:47

To all those who dont agree with queuing for your turn, what do you do at the petrol pump? Do you drive off because they are all occupied and not come back until you can immediately access a pump? What do you do in the supermarket? Not try to pay until the checkout is immediately available for you?

Don't you now there are other things you could go and do instead of queuing?!! After all you might be putting pressure on the person in front of you .....

kierenthecommunity · 04/04/2017 08:53

Actually at busy times, some restaurants do have a time limit on occupying tables

Plus if I saw someone hogging a table unnecessarily when it was obvious there was a massive queue I'd think them pretty rude and entitled too. Big groups of mums with buggies who nurse one cup of coffee for two hours springs to mind Hmm

Badgersarefriends · 04/04/2017 09:07

True, you see that a lot actually. Maybe it's the same ones who don't believe in queuing Wink

TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 15:43

To reply to the "these are probably children that don't know how to share" comments - what nonesense

exactly, sharing = using group equipment nicely together, such as the climbing frame
it doesn't mean that whoever wants what someone else has should trump the person who is using/doing a 1 person activity!

It's crazy the way people think that kids should be forced to share everything all the time! adults don't!

If I pick a good picnic spot should I only use it for max 10 mins incase another adult wants to sit there? There are benches for parents at our local play park, we don't all sit on them in 10 min rotations FFS! If there's someone sitting there already when I get there, I go without, unless they pack up and leave!

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 04/04/2017 16:02

I think yanbu. Same happen to us the other day (toddler swings so parents in control) we were at the park for 40 minutes and neither of my children had a go on the swing because the same two children were swinging the whole time. 40minutes! Neither child even looked like they were enjoying swinging by the end but the adults were so busy chatting they hadn't even noticed.
I asked if my child could have a turn, I was told no, their children were here first. So rude.

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 04/04/2017 17:10

Thank you all. It is rude and I agree that special needs has nothing to do with it. My nephews have very special needs but they are still made to take turns. If a child does have special needs then parents should explain that, not just let the child stay on there for as long as they like. Our children have rights as well.

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 17:39

  1. no. nobody has to tell you their child's diagnosis!
  2. rights? yes, to education, to food, to clean water…

… to have the thing that the other kid is playing with?…. Confused

Giddyaunt18 · 04/04/2017 18:10

This used to get on my wick at playgrounds. Some people just think they're so entitled. It's better to guide your DC on to another pice of play equipment because I think they enjoy the 'power' the queue gives them.

Giddyaunt18 · 04/04/2017 18:13

Tinsel a picnic bench is way different to a swing. It is generally accepted that you take turns at a playground and if you think it's acceptable to let a child hog the equipment then you are raising very obnoxious children.

TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 18:18

I'm raising kids who can have a plan B and go and find something else to play with if the swings are occupied and don't think that they are entitled to have everything that everybody else has all the time.

It would never occur to me to insist on their "turn" if they'ld been to a park and not played on every bit of kit!

Giddyaunt18 · 04/04/2017 19:06

But you implied that you wouldn't tell your kids to get off and give someone else a turn.

TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 19:17

But you implied that you wouldn't tell your kids to get off and give someone else a turn.

I didn't imply! I said outright that if a kid asked my kid for a go I'ld encourage them to give them a turn, but if adults were doing this PA queue nonsense I would do the opposite.

I don't see why me or my kid should "reward" rudeness

Giddyaunt18 · 04/04/2017 19:24

It's not rude to wait patiently for a go on a swing. I wouldn't expect your child to get off immediately but the OP said the child was on the swing for 30 mins. You should be paying attention to your child and encouraging good manners and turn taking, how else do they learn how to behave in public places?

TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 19:33

how else do they learn how to behave in public places?

Well.. my kids already know how to say "excuse me, can I have a turn please^ .. so.. tick!

TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 19:35

The OPs kid never actually asked for a turn remember
She just stood there looking at the kid hoping to make them feel uncomfortable enough to move on..

Giddyaunt18 · 04/04/2017 19:50

Standing waiting for their turn is how I see it. Asking for a go implies you want a go immediately which would be rude. Waiting for a short time is acceptable just as in the days of phone boxes, if you knew someone was waiting you wouldn't stay chatting for half an hour...or maybe you would!

TinselTwins · 04/04/2017 19:55

Asking for a go implies you want a go immediately which would be rude
no it doesn't asking gives the other person a chance to respond and let you know whether their nearly finished or if they're trying to break their record of 190 swings etc so you can go away and come back later etc
standing and staring = want a go now

gez it's not hard to communicate , and if you can't speak to the person you want something from you have nobody to blame but yourself if you don't get it.

Giddyaunt18 · 04/04/2017 19:58

I reckon you are wrong or not from UK where in my experience of being a child and having my own, that's what is accepted 'playground etiquette' if that is not too grand a term.