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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Parents at playground

137 replies

Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 17:47

Hi everyone, Smile

Because it was such a lovely day today we decided to take ds to playground. When we got there, there was 2 boys on swings (only two swings in the entire playground BTW) the one boy got to the swing before ds did, fair enough ds needed to wait his turn etc, that's fine.
Boy 1 was on swing around ten minutes, by this time big queue is building up. Boy 2 was on swing wayyyyyy before boy 1. Boy 1s parents finally called him off and let ds have a turn because he was next (although ten mins was quite a long wait I'm not that overly bothered)
However boy two was on the swing for over thirty minutes! His parents just stood there watching him and not calling him off, whilst theres a big back log of kids waiting...
Husband did say something to them in the end and they completly ignored him. I find this behaviour unacceptable, but maybe it's just me? Aibu? Please be gentle, I'm not looking for a fight honest 😁

OP posts:
AwaywiththePixies27 · 02/04/2017 19:34

For those saying ask. I think it depends on the kids age and the area. My DS has AS and usually won't ask. We were on a park in a nice area with my BF last year. Son sees big boys playing on what he wants to go on. Comes and tells me. My BF tells him, "now what you've just told you're mum. Go back and ask the boys" (politely of course). He did and they moved. The fact she told him to was enough to chivvy him into doing it.

He won't say boo to a goose around here though after the last delightful teenager threatened to beat him up. He was 7 at the time.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 02/04/2017 19:36

YANBU. I live in a crowded area of London and queueing for the swings is standard on weekends - if you wait for them to be empty you will wait in vain. BTW there is a whole episode of Bing dedicated to this problem (called Swing).

FeralBeryl · 02/04/2017 19:47

Oh these threads always turn into queue vs non queue!

Round here it's definitely a queue situation unless the park is quiet - which never happens. Not aggressive starey queuing, it's more vague loitering.
The vast majority of parents here of little ones are very reasonable. I've even made someone put their kid back on the swing for a longer turn because she saw some of mine waiting for their turn.
They are British, they must learn to queue incessantly. Grin

Mammylamb · 02/04/2017 19:50

At our local park in the kids area no dogs are allowed; so one of us plays with ds in the park and the other walks the dog. Which is fine,but then some idiot brings their bloody staffy into the kids area and let's it off lead.

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 20:03

For those saying wait till there's a gap
.
There was no gap he was on there for thirty minutes, that's why there was a queue. Honestly Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 20:05

The park was full and everyone wanted a turn. When you've been waiting in the background for thirty minutes of course your kids will want to go over and see if you can get them a go. please don't think the minute this kid went on I stood infront of him like this Angry
Really wasn't the case

OP posts:
Sedona123 · 02/04/2017 20:07

YANBU at all. If you don't queue, the parents seem to presume that no-one else want to go on the swing/zip wire/whatever so their snowflake gets to stay on there as long as they like. But, if you do queue then snowflake got there first so can still go on the swing/zip wire/ whatever for as long as they like. 🙄

The sad thing is that's not only just at the playground, we've seen this behaviour at museums etc too. Quite how the parents don't realise this behaviour is massively unreasonable I have no idea.

Scrumptiousbears · 02/04/2017 20:12

I had similar the other day. There was only one baby swing in the playground and this girl swapped her two kids in it back and forth for 45 mins to the point where there were three parents queuing. She then left her McDonald packaging all over the floor. One of her kids was old enough to be on the older swing as it is. Massive entitlement issues.

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 20:12

Sedona123.. spot on

OP posts:
Mumzypopz · 02/04/2017 20:18

Thirty mins is a long time but I do hate it when kids queue up for things. It's a bit rude. It puts pressure on the person who has got on the swing. How can they enjoy their time on it when someone is standing, waiting, staring at them, and willing them to get off. I used to think it's like they think just because they have ran over to it, you must get off immediately. It used to be that you would just play with other things until they got off, then go over and get on.

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 20:19

I agree queuing is rude generally. Only did it cause he'd been on there ages and wanted a go before home

OP posts:
Mumzypopz · 02/04/2017 20:21

Perhaps he was on longer, because there was a queue. Perhaps he got some sort of sadistic pleasure out of it. Or before someone else says this, perhaps he has SEN.

I have been known to tell my kids to stay on a bit longer when a kid comes over and stares at them the second they got on.

EggysMom · 02/04/2017 20:25

Our son is autistic, he only likes the swing and the roundabout. So, yes, we queue for these. He cannot be distracted by other playground activities whilst waiting. But I am teaching him to wait/queue. And I am mindful of others, so he only ever gets a couple of minutes before I take him away. Sometimes he gets upset.

I wonder which other parents would find more annoying:

  • letting him swing until he gets bored (could be 20+ minutes)
  • queuing patiently but obviously for a turn
  • the crying/shouting when I remove him after a few minutes
  • the fact that he is a 7yo using a baby swing (because he cannot manage a larger swing)

Sometimes I cannot escape the judgey stares no matter how much I try Grin

Mumzypopz · 02/04/2017 20:31

Eggy's, would much rather he stayed on there for twenty mins than stood staring waiting for a turn. I'm sorry, but I just find queuing off putting.

hazeyjane · 02/04/2017 20:38

Eggysmom, my near 7 year old is similar - I have to take him away from the swing, (though this causes much distress) as otherwise he will lie stand there wailing loudly, whilst being stared at by the mothers of the babies on the baby swings (who obviously think he shouldn't be on them anyway!!) Ds could swing for hours!!

Wine and chocolate for you. It is hard.

springflowers11 · 02/04/2017 20:38

No queuing here either.whoever is on first stays on until they are ready to move-
If apparatus is being used kids go and play on some thing else until it's free.Nobody hovers .I consider it terribly rude and PA.Bog off and let the kid enjoy their go.Maybe they had to wait 10 minutes to get on too

springflowers11 · 02/04/2017 20:42

  • wonder which other parents would find more annoying:
  • letting him swing until he gets bored (could be 20+ minutes)
  • queuing patiently but obviously for a turn
  • the crying/shouting when I remove him after a few minutes
  • the fact that he is a 7yo using a baby swing (because he cannot manage a larger swing)

Sometimes I cannot escape the judgey stares no matter how much I try grin*
You can't do right for doing wrong! [flower] Sad

Mumzypopz · 02/04/2017 20:44

When I was a kid we all seemed to have swings in our gardens. Why does noone do that anymore?

saracrewe2 · 02/04/2017 20:50

While 30 minutes is a ridiculously long time to hog a swing, I'd say it was quite rude standing and waiting, putting pressure on children enjoying the swing.

Eh, was that you at the park today Grin ?

I remember once being in a park and a father was pushing his ds on the swing for ages. There was a sizeable queue and when the ds had decided that he wanted to go on something else the father actually held the swing in his hands to 'reserve' it. Everyone just stood there with Hmm looks. Sadly there are some very self-entitled people and they pass this on to their children.

Mumzypopz · 02/04/2017 20:56

Saracrew2..... Perhaps he had SEN?

saracrewe2 · 02/04/2017 21:06

Mumz I have dc with SEN and it does not entitle them to have full reservation of playground equipment. They have to wait their turn like anyone else.

hazeyjane · 02/04/2017 21:29

We have a sn swing in our garden, and I have arms like Popeye from yours of swinging, but ds loves the park, sometimes we meet friends there(who ds ignores, in order to swing) and ds has 2 sisters who also love the park.

WobblyLegs5 · 02/04/2017 21:34

Eggy, my dc all have asd as well. They would be intimidated and pressured by kids standing waiting in line and much less likely to cone off williningly without a meltdown. If they want a go and can't I can live with that, renforce not to take off others (with 3 in the house with the same obsessive and possessiveness we deal with that alot) and that others shouldn't intimidate them into giving up things.

JustSpeakSense · 02/04/2017 21:37

YANBU

Poor playground etiquette.

TessyFew · 02/04/2017 21:47

Had exactly the same thing today...two swings both being used for ages with the parents standing having a chat! My kid would be bored out of her mind if I just stood and queued so we played on other things till the swings became free. No biggie. It's a park with more than just swings right?!

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