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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Parents at playground

137 replies

Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 17:47

Hi everyone, Smile

Because it was such a lovely day today we decided to take ds to playground. When we got there, there was 2 boys on swings (only two swings in the entire playground BTW) the one boy got to the swing before ds did, fair enough ds needed to wait his turn etc, that's fine.
Boy 1 was on swing around ten minutes, by this time big queue is building up. Boy 2 was on swing wayyyyyy before boy 1. Boy 1s parents finally called him off and let ds have a turn because he was next (although ten mins was quite a long wait I'm not that overly bothered)
However boy two was on the swing for over thirty minutes! His parents just stood there watching him and not calling him off, whilst theres a big back log of kids waiting...
Husband did say something to them in the end and they completly ignored him. I find this behaviour unacceptable, but maybe it's just me? Aibu? Please be gentle, I'm not looking for a fight honest 😁

OP posts:
Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 18:47

Plus my son had already been there for ages and wanted a go on the swing...we had to queue otherwise he wouldn't have had a go before home time. Park was full :)

OP posts:
witsender · 02/04/2017 18:47

I agree that asking is more polite than a passive aggressive queue of tutters. Otherwise I would encourage a child to wander off and do something else.

TinselTwins · 02/04/2017 18:48

I mentioned it above in first post and they still didnt move him

So your kid didn't ask the kid on the swing "excuse me, can I have a turn please"?

TheMythOfFingerprints · 02/04/2017 18:48

Bit bemused at the queuing myself tbh.
I mean, obviously it is the ideal to notice a line and not hog stuff, but I remember playing on stuff while waiting and then just legging it over to whatever piece of equipment had just become free.

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 18:48

But I did make sure he played on everything else he could first before we queued

OP posts:
SecretNetter · 02/04/2017 18:49

So boy 1 got to the swing 'just before' your ds. Your ds was next for a turn with a big queue building up...meaning from the second boy 1 started swinging, you were standing with your dc waiting for him to get off?

Ywbu. Tbh if I saw adults follow one of my dc to a swing, watch him get on, then stand and wait right by him I'd not be inclined at all to hurry him up so that the PA parents didn't have to wait.

Tanith · 02/04/2017 18:49

I have, in the past, seen a father hog one of the two toddler swings (his DC, who was a few years older than DD, was in the other).
He rushed to the swing and got there before my DD, then aged 2. He then stood up on it, swinging: just so my own DD couldn't have a go. The park was otherwise empty, luckily for him because he looked an absolute fool swinging there!

We're not from that village, you see 🙄

Justbecauseitsso · 02/04/2017 18:50

You could've asked the boy if he wouldn't have minded sharing the swing with all the other kids.

It used to drive me up the wall seeing how kids would barge and push in front of other kids in playgrounds and once I had to pull 3 boys off a child who'd gone down a slide without having given this girl the chance to get off, they literally barrelled into her and ended up a pile on top of her. Parents nowhere to be seen. I told those boys off and they gave me the evil eye the rest of the time I was there but how can a grown up just ignore it? Maybe that's half the problem, so many of us are too worried to call people/kids up on their ignorance and that's why rudeness rules. Life's too short to let people get away with being rude!

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 18:50

I didn't want my son going up to a kid that was swinging really high he only little and could of got knocked down... We did talk to the parents who wasn't interested. Didn't seem worth it to talk to the child. Why would he listen if he's parents were fine with it? No other parents asked the kid either.. But we did speak to the parents so as not to judge or be mean about the kid but they didn't see it as a problem

OP posts:
Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 18:52

Normally I wouldn't queue... But ds wanted a go before we left so it was a one off

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 02/04/2017 18:53

I didn't want my son going up to a kid that was swinging really high he only little and could of got knocked down… erm, most swings swing in a straight line, you can approach from the side

We did talk to the parents who wasn't interested. Didn't seem worth it to talk to the child. Why would he listen if he's parents were fine with it? I'ld be more inclined to ask my child to respond politely and give a turn if my child was asked politely and directly for a turn without this standing and staring PA nonsense.

Original poster
Iloveanimals · 02/04/2017 18:54

I just think it was harsh on everyone that the kid wasn't sharing (parents fault not child's) it's not ok to hog stuff for that long.

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 02/04/2017 18:55

I see queuing for swings in various parks, primarily when parks are really busy or when the park is very small and limited in 'fun' things.

TinselTwins · 02/04/2017 18:57

The only park queues I've seen are for zipwires.

TinselTwins · 02/04/2017 18:57

and at the top of slides. Never swings or climbing equipment or see-saws type things

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 02/04/2017 19:07

I think Tinsel Twins is the voice of reason on this thread.
Kids should be able to negotiate these issues without going through two sets of parents as intermediaries.
My boy is 4 and quite shy. He knows how to ask another child "Can I have a shot?" and would be able to respond to a kid asking him the same thing.
What do you think kids did in the 70's and 80's when they were allowed to play out without adult supervision? How do you think kids manage when they are allowed to mix unsupervised today?

WobblyLegs5 · 02/04/2017 19:08

At a toddler group years ago my dc got a particular toy first. Alittle boy who came in right after us wanted it and hounded her the whole time. He chased her round and even pushed her over once- as my kids have asd/adhd and social anxiety this caused a huge melt down, at which point I sat with her and the toy in a hug- had already said to the boys mum to that him chasing her was upsetting her, she kept on making pa comments about how he would get his turn of the toy loudly to my girl and how some kids allways hogged toys. My dc are very possessive due to asd but I allways made them share after 5 mins or so if another kid wanted a go. I just told her until she was allowed to enjoy her turn unharrassed she wouldn't be giving him a turn. Have never seen a que for a swing though!

SemiNormal · 02/04/2017 19:16

Really don't see the issue to be honest. Yes it would have been nice for the other one to not take so long so others could have a turn but perhaps he very very rarely goes to the park and as such wanted to spend the entire time on his favourite thing. If my son moaned about it I'd just say 'Oh well you can have a turn next time', I definitely would not have stood there waiting for someone to get off - I find that a bit strange.

Trifleorbust · 02/04/2017 19:19

I don't like the queuing for the swings thing - ruins the spirit of playing in the park for me and I think it is rude. But 30 minutes is a long time.

paxillin · 02/04/2017 19:22

Are these toddlers on baby swings? If so, fair enough to ask the parents since they fully control what the child does. Any older, I wouldn't get involved and let the kids negotiate the playground themselves unless there was a fight that needed breaking up.

SoEverybodyDance · 02/04/2017 19:22

Deffo idiot parent's day out. We were at the swings right next to a busy canal path when a little boy came up and got on with us. My DS struck up a conversation with him and then I asked him where his parents were. "In the pub," was this poor little five year old's answer. They didn't even have a view onto the playground so anything could have happened... He was there on his own for about 30 minutes.

leghoul · 02/04/2017 19:24

Yabu for queuing for a swing. You know nothing about the boy. I thought better etiquette was to walk off and play with other things and then go back if there's a gap.

TinselTwins · 02/04/2017 19:25

OP if you went to a scenic spot and wanted to sit on the bench, but there were other adults sitting there enjoying the view, would you stand on front of them until they got up for you?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 02/04/2017 19:27

YNBU. We had similar last Sunday.

Massive park, there were easily nearly a hundred kids on there. One little darling left to play on the swing for an entire millenium an age whilst a snaking queue of pissed off kids and parents looked on with tested patience.

Someone had sensibly installed himself chief queue officer of the zipwire kids, so he could make sure his young daughter got a turn, or they'd have been carnage before teatime. Grin
Then there were other parents who ignored the sign in big capital letters saying "6years and over only" and continued to usher their little toddlers up a very tall slide, then gaze on adoringly as they came hurtling down a very tall and fast, slide. I'm not joking about the fast either, it was closed weeks after being opened because of all the injuries kids were sustaining, hence the warning sign.

OP learn from me and DCs and try and yet there first thing in the morning. Less things and people to negotiate around. Wink

deadringer · 02/04/2017 19:28

Where i live (Dublin) queuing is definitely the norm. There was always a queue for the swings when i was a child 40 odd years ago so not a new thing either. It seems that the sun brings out all sorts op.

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