Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse this sale?

163 replies

CharliesSister · 02/04/2017 13:27

I run a small business making bridal hair accessories.
I've been contacted to create a headpiece that matches this woman's bouquet, and she needs it by next weekend. (Rush orders for weddings are astonishingly common, but thats a whole other thread!)

She asks for a quote, which I provide. In retrospect, I massively under-quoted as I wasn't thinking straight, but obviously can't go back on that now, but I'm already losing out when you factor in the time taken to make the piece (I quoted £21 and its at least 3 hours + work, I'm an idiot).

I set up a custom order for her (Etsy) but she's refusing the pay for the piece, or a deposit, until she's seen photos of the finished item, in case she doesn't like it. I can kind of see where she is coming from but I can't really afford to spend hours designing and making something without at least a deposit to barely cover the material costs.

AIBU?

She's getting very stressed as her wedding is next weekend and I feel really guilty as she's saying this is spoiling her big day.

OP posts:
EduCated · 02/04/2017 13:28

YANBU at all.

Fauxgina · 02/04/2017 13:28

Yabu for 20 quid and an etsy page I'd take what I was given. As she's not I'd tell her she needs to try someone else.

raspberryrippleicecream · 02/04/2017 13:29

Agreed, definitely YANBU

Fauxgina · 02/04/2017 13:29

Whoops sorry I meant yanbu

Floggingmolly · 02/04/2017 13:29

If she's not willing to risk twenty one quid to avoid spoiling her big day...

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 02/04/2017 13:30

Yanbu.

Let her find someone else to do it.

LadyPW · 02/04/2017 13:30

Insist on a deposit because it's custom-made. You can't sell it if she decides to not buy it so you have to have a no-refund deposit. It's standard practice for so many bespoke items. She sounds like she's taking the piss - and all for £21 quid finished price so how little a deposit are you asking?!!!! For that amount you've nothing to lose by insisting on your deposit first. If she walks away (in a huff) then it's her issue not yours.

Expellibramus · 02/04/2017 13:31

I think it's a perfect get out clause for you given you've under quoted - just say it's not how you do business so unfortunately can't proceed and wish her well on her day. She sounds like trouble anyway.

RNBrie · 02/04/2017 13:31

I commissioned a hat for a wedding and I paid for it in full upfront. I was sent a couple of photos beforehand of the type of style so I could pick which detail I liked best but the rest was done on faith. Tell her to pay or not pay but you won't start work until you've recieved her money.

ohdoadoodoo · 02/04/2017 13:32

YANBU in the slightest

Original poster
CharliesSister · 02/04/2017 13:32

I've asked for a 50% non-refundable deposit, having learnt my lesson the hard way before! (Think neon green and pink floral hair combs - I'm not going to be able to sell that on!)

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 02/04/2017 13:32

Yanbu. At best, you make a loss on your time, at worst you have a further loss on materials she may not buy - or may accept, tearfully, at a further discount... [/cynicism]

Her needing a headpiece at the last minute isn't your problem. She'll live without it.

MarchEliza · 02/04/2017 13:33

Surely that's just not how bespoke orders work?? Normally I'd guess you'd ask for a deposit but when the amount is so low it would just all be payable up front. If she's not confident in your abilities why did she ask for the work?

Is there a chance you're not the only supplier she's asked and she intends to pick her favourite?

weeblueberry · 02/04/2017 13:33

Did you read the threat here where the woman made the birthday cake for the woman who ended up trying to wiggle out of paying etc.

That's very possibly what you have here.

I would tell her if her wedding is next weekend she might be best ordering an off the shelf item so a) she knows what it's like and b) she knows it will be ready in time. Saves her hassle...

Original poster
CharliesSister · 02/04/2017 13:34

Is there a chance you're not the only supplier she's asked and she intends to pick her favourite?

I didn't think of that... maybe!

OP posts:
HeyRoly · 02/04/2017 13:40

I think it's a perfect get out clause for you given you've under quoted

This.

You owe her nothing. Just say the deposit is non-negotiable and you wish her well in finding another Etsy seller who will meet her expectations.

You feel GUILTY? Don't!

Resideria · 02/04/2017 13:44

Her refusal to pay is hopefully your lucky escape. However, if she should suddenly agree to pay upfront, just tell her that as she has delayed the transaction you are now unable fulfil the order in time for the wedding.

MiladyThesaurus · 02/04/2017 13:49

Honestly, her 'big day' means nothing to you (and nor should it). If the accessory was such a big deal to her, and she wanted to avoid stress, she shouldn't have left it so late.

It's like my undergrads who are told what their deadlines are (and what the tasks are, and when all the support sessions are) months in advance. Still every single time a handful of them try to make it my problem that they did nothing all term, didn't attend any of the support sessions and left it til the last minute to start even thinking about their essays - and therefore created a whole lot of unnecessary stress for themselves. Some of them send me emails telling me that I'm making them stressed because I haven't replied to their last minute emails immediately (always over the weekend, or one who berated me for not checking or answering my work emails on bloody Christmas Day in one memorable instance - how I laughed when I checked my email on returning to work in January). The thing is, they've created their own stressful situation and it really isn't my problem, especially not when there are c.8 of them who all think I should be making an exception for them.

You're in much the same situation OP. You're running a business, and your customers presumably are all brides looking to have their perfect 'big day' (except, of course, that they actually decided on the deadlines and timing). You can't make every individual bride your immediate priority, nor can you jump or change how you work because one individual bride has gotten herself into a tizzy. She's so caught up in her own drama that she's failed to realise that you may well have have several other customers all in a tizzy of their own making too and, frankly, you've got a business to run.

Just stand firm. Given the short notice, you'd be within your rights to insist on full payment upfront for this kind of custom order, not just a non-refundable deposit.

Pigface1 · 02/04/2017 13:50

I paid £120 for my wedding headpiece. At £21 she can suck it up. What a dickhead.

Butterymuffin · 02/04/2017 13:52

No, just say that for last minute jobs like this you need full payment up front. That's your get out and I would take it!

HereThereThen · 02/04/2017 13:53

YANBU

I think you should tell her that you are sorry that you can't help and that you hope she can find something else to her likings. Then don't worry about it. Don't feel guilty either. It's not your fault.

Butterymuffin · 02/04/2017 13:54

Yes say what Resideria.suggested - it's now too late to fulfill the order at all. Otherwise, there's a very high chance you'll never get your money for this.

JaniceBattersby · 02/04/2017 13:54

£21?! Can't she go to bloody Claire's Accessories or something?

ScarlettFreestone · 02/04/2017 13:56

Why would you feel guilty?

Not your circus. not your monkeys.

If she won't meet your terms, politely decline.

expatinscotland · 02/04/2017 13:56

PLEASE, just cut her loose! You've already jacked up and quoted her the wrong price, now is your perfect get out. She's being a PITA.

Swipe left for the next trending thread