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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse this sale?

163 replies

CharliesSister · 02/04/2017 13:27

I run a small business making bridal hair accessories.
I've been contacted to create a headpiece that matches this woman's bouquet, and she needs it by next weekend. (Rush orders for weddings are astonishingly common, but thats a whole other thread!)

She asks for a quote, which I provide. In retrospect, I massively under-quoted as I wasn't thinking straight, but obviously can't go back on that now, but I'm already losing out when you factor in the time taken to make the piece (I quoted £21 and its at least 3 hours + work, I'm an idiot).

I set up a custom order for her (Etsy) but she's refusing the pay for the piece, or a deposit, until she's seen photos of the finished item, in case she doesn't like it. I can kind of see where she is coming from but I can't really afford to spend hours designing and making something without at least a deposit to barely cover the material costs.

AIBU?

She's getting very stressed as her wedding is next weekend and I feel really guilty as she's saying this is spoiling her big day.

OP posts:
Kiroro · 03/04/2017 16:17

Just say "sorry, I require a deposit to be paid in advance of commencing work. Unfortunately whilst we have been discussing you work I have started work on another commission who has paid the deposit, so I am not able to take on this piece for you in your timescale. Thanks for your inquiry."

Aeroflotgirl · 03/04/2017 16:20

Tough, she should have planned better if it was so important to her. Who does that!

RaeSkywalker · 03/04/2017 16:25

I would definitely look to refund her. This situation has already taken up too much of your time and energy to be profitable. She's changing her request now, it'll only get worse.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/04/2017 16:27

OP, cut yourself some slack, refund her.

Dixie2016 · 03/04/2017 16:27

Another one who agrees you should cancel her order!

I paid a LOT more than £21 for a bespoke head piece for my wedding. When it arrived I didn't like it (not the sellers fault it just didn't look how I had imagined once on) but I just sucked it up and got something else.

TitaniasCloset · 03/04/2017 16:54

No pics still? Oh.Sad

threesocksmeghan · 03/04/2017 16:57

Distance selling rules don't apply to bespoke items. So even if you make it she's not entitled to a refund if she doesn't like it or changes her mind. Obviously she can still leave you a bad review and you would be out of pocket as you underquoted...but just something to bear in mind!

terrylene · 03/04/2017 17:06

With a week to go, and at only £21 it should have been an up front charge and take your chance. There is not the time to negotiate details and price.

In fact, I would have doubled the charge anyway.

I would say there is no longer time to continue with this project and refund deposit (which is generous)

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/04/2017 17:13

Thing is, she's going to leave you a bad review anyway - crazy, unreasonable people often do - so the longer you drag this out, the worse the review will get

Best, surely, to cut your losses before that happens?

LadyFlumpalot · 03/04/2017 17:14

YANBU. I too make bespoke bridal hair accessories and I ask for the full price up front. People don't seem to realise that it's hours of our time plus the costs of the materials. Tell her to pop along to Claire's Accessories or try EBay if she's that unhappy.

LongtimeLurkerNowPokemonHunter · 03/04/2017 18:03

I'd love to see some of your business links OP and others that do bespoke headpieces. Bride who's still at the thinking stage (it's over a year away) but would love a pm if possible!?

Yanbu. She defines bridezilla

Whileweareonthesubject · 03/04/2017 18:05

£21? I paid about that for my wedding headpiece when I got married nearly 35 years ago! And it wasn't bespoke either. Sounds as though she is a mickey taker to me.

ComputerUserNumptyTwit · 03/04/2017 18:14

When I'm buying from Etsy, I do exactly as I do when I check Tripadvisor and read the 1* reviews to establish what impact they've had on the average rating. They are almost without exception written by loons, so I disregard them.

Babykoala1 · 03/04/2017 18:14

She sounds like a tight arsehole. It's bad enough that she would refuse to pay it all upfront, but to not even pay half? When she knows full well it's custom made! Avoid, OP.

Original poster
CharliesSister · 03/04/2017 18:23

I'm a complete mug, I realise. Money is tight at the moment (ex-DP ran off with all my money a month ago Confused) so even a £20 order is better than nothing. I'm powering through, if she doesn't like the revised prototype then I'll cancel!

I'm pretty concerned about negative reviews at the moment, as my teeny business is all I've got at the moment. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!

OP posts:
Graphista · 03/04/2017 18:30

Honestly op, when reviews for this type of thing first were available people were put off by bad ones, now they're much more aware that bad reviews are just as likely to be from rivals or customers with ridiculous expectations.

Refund her and don't think about it.

Unhurried · 03/04/2017 18:51

OP, if the bride to be leaves you a poor review you respond to it also, detailing why the sale went tits up. Buyers don't like poor reviews either. Sweetheart, fuck her off and I'll send you £20, I'm serious

Original poster
CharliesSister · 03/04/2017 18:55

I've received one poor review before (I'm SURE it was from a competitor, because it didn't even make sense) and just replied as kindly and sensibly as I could; it doesn't seem to have affected sales.

unhurried ha! Shall I use those exact words? Grin I'll see what tomorrow brings and if I can't get it right then I'll jack it in. She contacted me on Sat so I feel like I've led her down shit creek if I back out now.

OP posts:
Original poster
CharliesSister · 03/04/2017 20:09

Ok, I'm going to have to take all your advice and cancel this, she's sent me 18 messages just this evening chasing and chasing.
My capacity for stress is super low at the moment.

Any ideas on how I can phrase this?

OP posts:
EduCated · 03/04/2017 20:10

Good grief. I'm no help with words, but 18 messages?!

DancingGoose · 03/04/2017 20:27

This woman is nuts

Megatherium · 03/04/2017 20:33

Any ideas on how I can phrase this?

Dear Bridezilla

As you know, the contract I made with you was for production of bridal hair accessories as follows: (describe). You asked me to produce accessories of a type similar to those showing on my website, and I agreed at very short notice in order to assist you and on the basis that accessories within those specifications are ones I know I can produce within the tight time limits imposed and within the estimate I have given. I understood that you needed them by (date) and of course that is absolute minimum time I need in order to fulfil your order, bearing in mind my already existing commitments to other customers.

However, since I took your order you have radically changed your requirements so that the accessories you are asking for bear little resemblance to your original order and are considerably different to those I normally produce and for which I estimated. They therefore require considerably more time and different materials from those needed for your original order. Further, you have sought to change the terms of the contract by constantly contacting me to press me to complete the work within a much shorter timescale than originally envisaged or agreed, and indeed one which it is impossible to fulfil. I understand that you are stressed about your imminent wedding, but with every respect it is not my fault that you left it so late to deal with this, and I do not feel that I should prejudice other customers in order to fulfil your changing demands.

You have therefore radically sought to change the terms of our original agreement and it is clear that it is at an end. I am therefore formally confirming your termination of the agreeement, and do not wish to enter into any new agreement to meet your new requirements. I will make arrangements tomorrow to return your deposit. I am sorry that I have had to take this step but feel I have been left with no choice.

Yours

Grilledaubergines · 03/04/2017 20:39

"Fuck off and get your headdress from Claire's, you utter knob. I think your problems run far deeper than a few beads and a handful of Kirby grips".

Too blunt?

MipMipMip · 03/04/2017 20:39

Beautiful Mega!

TitaniasCloset · 03/04/2017 20:41

She is crackers. 18 fecking messages ? You would think she was spending hundreds.

I don't know about cancelling at this late stage, maybe she is just losing the plot a bit with anxiety, but you need to let her know clearly what she can and can't expect and mention in the email that you priced it up wrong so she I'd getting it st about a third of the price anyway.

Just be clear and to the point. If she cracks up its not your problem.but I would try to be understanding at this point because she has no chance if getting it done by anyone else at this point.

Just phrase it - i think there HaS been some confusion. I'm willing to offer x but not y at such short notice. Also, my fault not yours, but I mispriced the item in the first place but I am willing to still offer you it at the agreed upon price because this is your wedding and I understand you must be anxious. Unfortunately I'm actually losing money on this item.

If this is unnaceptable to you. Please let me know.

Summink like that.

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