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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse this sale?

163 replies

CharliesSister · 02/04/2017 13:27

I run a small business making bridal hair accessories.
I've been contacted to create a headpiece that matches this woman's bouquet, and she needs it by next weekend. (Rush orders for weddings are astonishingly common, but thats a whole other thread!)

She asks for a quote, which I provide. In retrospect, I massively under-quoted as I wasn't thinking straight, but obviously can't go back on that now, but I'm already losing out when you factor in the time taken to make the piece (I quoted £21 and its at least 3 hours + work, I'm an idiot).

I set up a custom order for her (Etsy) but she's refusing the pay for the piece, or a deposit, until she's seen photos of the finished item, in case she doesn't like it. I can kind of see where she is coming from but I can't really afford to spend hours designing and making something without at least a deposit to barely cover the material costs.

AIBU?

She's getting very stressed as her wedding is next weekend and I feel really guilty as she's saying this is spoiling her big day.

OP posts:
Mulberry72 · 02/04/2017 13:57

YADNBU.

Just tell her that you can't fit her in any longer, someone else also needs a rush order and has paid in full so you can no longer accommodate her.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 02/04/2017 13:57

YANBU (especially as you under-quoted)

It isn't your fault that she left it until nearly the last moment to get her hair piece. It isn't as if she only decided to get married yesterday, she must have known the date at least a month ago. That is nothing to do with you so don't feel guilty about it. It is quite normal to pay a premium for expedited work when it comes to large companies, so I don't see why small ones shouldn't also charge them. I would also expect to pay for materials up front when it comes to custom orders, although I would like a say in what those materials are.

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 02/04/2017 13:58

Did you read the threat here where the woman made the birthday cake for the woman who ended up trying to wiggle out of paying etc.

You beat me to it wee - I was just about to say the same thing.

Buddah101 · 02/04/2017 14:00

Please avoid... I sell also on etsy, had a customer last november message me over 48 messages dithering about what colour fabric she wanted, gave her a quote for the item she'd asked for, she comes back and says she wanted 2. I set up the listing, she then says its awfully expensive how can we make it lower.

Err well you can just buy 1 instead. soon as she'd paid she messaged me to confirm her choices - once again she had changed the colour & size, and then finally the day after she bought it I had 4 messages to ask me how its going. I sell on NOTHS also and am extremely busy and just dont have the time to reply to messages of how is my item coming along - to be fair nobody has ever actually asked me that anyway. True to form she was a nightmare and I wish I could go back in time and just tell her to do one. for £21 save yourself the bother, tell her to go to a market and don't feel guilty at all. If shes already stressed about things whatever you give her will probably not be to her liking and will likely gain you only a bit of negative feedback for your trouble.

RitaConners · 02/04/2017 14:00

There is nothing for you to feel guilty about! You've done nothing wrong. Say you can no longer do it due to time restrictions like other people have said.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 02/04/2017 14:03

You are totally right (and jolly decent!) to be sucking up the underquoting. I have to do that all the time much to the chagrin of DH who actually owns the business which I am slowly but surely kicking to the kerb

But you would also be absolutely right NOT to do it (or any other job) on spec when it is SO labour intensive. Her lack of organisation is not your emergency (though of course you can only go so far down that route if you want to make any money at all....)

I am absolutely with Milady on this one...and having worked on the admin side in a university the times on which I can say that about my erstwhile academic colleagues are few and far between! Flowers to OP and Milady

harderandharder2breathe · 02/04/2017 14:05

Yadnbu

Don't let her guilt trip you. If she wants it (at an already underquoted price) she pays in full upfront (no point dithering about with deposits for £20) and if she doesn't like it, it's no skin off your nose.

expatinscotland · 02/04/2017 14:07

She's the one who fucked up not getting her piece sorted and then expecting others to dance round her, solving her problems. Get rid NOW!

'I set up the listing, she then says its awfully expensive how can we make it lower.'

Sure sign of a cheeky pisstaking nightmare when you'd already quoted her a price and she agreed it. Hopefully you learned that whenever someone does this, that's why you say, 'Sorry, I've had someone come in and pay full price upfront, I am no longer available to take on your order.

manicinsomniac · 02/04/2017 14:08

£21 for a last minute custom made head piece?! She should grovelling at your feet in gratitude, not making more silly demands.

I'd tell her it's a no if she doesn't pay what you've asked today and give yourself the get out.

OnionKnight · 02/04/2017 14:08

It's twenty quid, if she doesn't want to spend that to avoid spoiling her wedding it's her problem.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 02/04/2017 14:09

I wouldn't touch this order with a bargepole.
You've under quoted, she is already coming up with excuses why she might not pay for the item if you make it.
Don't let her guilt you- if it was SO important that she has a bespoke headpiece, she would have arranged it months ago

happypoobum · 02/04/2017 14:12

I agree with PP - cut her loose.

As she won't pay, the order is cancelled.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 02/04/2017 14:13

I used to bust a gut to get orders done for Christmas (not presents, household stuff) and finally put my foot down after I sweated to get someone's curtains done for 21st December then she said she would pick them up in January

Goldfishjane · 02/04/2017 14:13

legally you can refuse can't you?

if you think it would be unreasonable, not at all. She can get a headpiece elsewhere.

Graphista · 02/04/2017 14:13

£21 Shock huge undercharge there! I used to sell this item 'off the peg' - MINIMUM £50 and that was 10 years ago!!

Op you need to toughen up.

Organise yourself a minimum price list (for your eyes only for quoting purposes) cost ph labour, materials costs, with surcharges for certain custom modifications.

I take it customers contacting online? Give yourself time to check materials costs with suppliers and calculate an accurate quote. Send customer a message saying you've got message and are checking. (Auto response?)

Then when you do quote inc 'that's based on xyz specs' so if they change the specs to something more expensive (more labour, more expensive materials) you're covered.

All that said this one sounds a piss taker - bin her off!

specialsubject · 02/04/2017 14:16

Anyone who feels that their wedding will be ruined by the wrong headpiece is too immature to marry.

Fortunately not your problem. Waste no more time, decline the order.

SlothMama · 02/04/2017 14:16

YANBU If she doesn't like it and you can't sell it on you'll be out of pocket!

CaptainHammer · 02/04/2017 14:16

Don't make it, it won't end well!

karalime · 02/04/2017 14:21

Of course OP can refuse. Legally no one has to sell anything to anyone if they don't want to. At most they can ask for a refund which they can't because the buyer hasn't even paid.

The phrase 'poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part' applies here!

eddielizzard · 02/04/2017 14:23

i wouldn't do it. i'd say sorry, 100% up front for bespoke items.

TheGirlWhoWasntThere · 02/04/2017 14:25

Neon green and pink floral hair combs sound amazing. I'd totally buy them!
(Completely misses point of thread).

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/04/2017 14:26

I've asked for a 50% non-refundable deposit

If she's refused to pay this, surely you don't have a contract with her? The way it usually works is: buyer approaches vendor / vendor sets out terms of business / buyer decides whether to proceed on that basis or not, so isn't it really as simple as saying "no deposit, no item"?

As PPs have said, she's probably tried this on with others too and fully intends to buy only the finished product which suits

user1483387154 · 02/04/2017 14:27

I would not do this order without full payment in advance. She is asking for something custom made not buying something you have hundreds of already in stock.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 02/04/2017 14:38

What she's said is fairly obviously roughly translated as I'm a pain and I'm going to refuse to pay

JaneEyre70 · 02/04/2017 14:41

If you are making a bespoke item that is going to be hard to resell, then charge full price up front OP. You don't go into M & S and say I like that skirt, I'll give you half, take it home and see how I get one with it!!
And make sure you thoroughly cost in your time, expenses and supplies on every order. DH makes bespoke furniture and it takes him about a day at the start of every year to add in every cost (staff, supplies, heat, insurance, training, van etc) in and make sure he is covering every base in his costings.