Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 17 18

Original poster

Having food/drink policed whilst pregnant

438 replies

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 02/04/2017 11:10

About three weeks ago, buying a full English takeout for OH...
Cook: "How do you want your eggs?"
Me: "Runny please."
Cook: "Ooooh... you know you shouldn't have runny eggs whilst pregnant. I'll fry it till it's hard." vanishes back into kitchen before I can stop her

Last week, in a pub garden with me, SIL, and OH...
Waiting staff: "What drinks do you want?"
Me: "Two white wines and a coke please."
waiting person returns with drinks
Waiting staff, trying to figure out who to give the drinks to, obviously concludes the wines are for me and SIL: "Ummm... did you want something else? I mean because... you know..."
Me: slightly confused stare since I hadn't twigged yet
Waiting staff: "Is the wine for you?"
Me: "No. It's for MIL else who's arriving imminently. I have a bottle of water in my bag."
Waiting staff: "Oh phew! For a minute there I thought you were going to drink whilst pregnant!" chuckles her way back inside

Today, in Spar, buying my lunch, along with three high-protein peanut bar snack things which actually, for once, are for me, and I've checked with the obstetrician that it's okay for me to eat these since I'm otherwise low on protein in my diet...
Checkout woman, looking at me, very deliberately at my bump, and then at the nutritional content on the bars, literally reading the guidance on there: "Are you allowed to eat these?? I don't think these are okay during pregnancy."
Me in a pretty flat, unimpressed voice: "Are you an obstetrician?"
Checkout woman: "... A what?"
Me: "A specialist in fetal development."
Checkout woman: "... Er... no...?"
awkward silence whilst she scans, I pay, and leave

Sat here, now, chomping on a maple and peanut bar, I feel like a bit of an arsehole in retrospect. So... WIBU to get a bit shirty with the checkout woman?

OP posts:

SecretNetter · 02/04/2017 17:25

There was a heavily pregnant woman drinking a pint and smoking at pub I passed yesterday. I felt the rage

Ok smoking can't really be mistaken I suppose. But on the pint front you don't actually know what's in it.

I'm near tee total anyway and haven't drunk in this pregnancy other than the odd sip from dh's wine glass to taste. I'm now 8 months and look ready to drop. I was in a beer garden with my mum yesterday enjoy on the sun and really really felt like a summery pint...so I had a pint of larger shandy, about 1/3 fosters and the rest lemonade...no idea how many units in 1/3 of a pint but I'd guess not many and not something I'm concerned about. But of course it's in a Fosters glass and with the sun glinting off the glass it's impossible to tell it's only a weak shandy unless you study it so looks like you're swigging a pint...I had a couple of bemused or filthy looks.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 02/04/2017 17:25

This is interesting as I only had the opposite during pregnancy.
When I swapped out the starter at a social event as I didn't want to eat pâté and soft cheese that I knew had been out of the fridge over night.
"Oh, we didn't have that in MY day."
What, listeria? Yes you did, but it wasn't widely known about.
I heard that line several times. Wound me up a bit!
Oh and the waiter in a French restaurant, when I asked if it was fresh mayonnaise! Er, don't want to take the risk with raw egg as I don't know if its lion stamped!

ElisavetaFartsonira · 02/04/2017 17:29

I actually had that once with wine. I couldn't stand the smell of alcohol anyway, so couldn't have drunk it if I'd wanted, but I remember someone getting arsey and saying I could have a taste if I wanted. Yeah, but I didn't want!

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 02/04/2017 17:31

That type of unwarranted uneducated advice drove me mental when I was pregnant.

I loved quoting this article to people:

www.theguardian.com/society/2007/may/29/health.medicineandhealth

paddypants13 · 02/04/2017 17:32

I got "oh, are you eating for two, you're not supposed to!" When I was expecting dd. I'd helped myself to one sweet and this came from the woman who'd troffed two doughnuts minutes earlier (meaning there wasn't one left for me ).

MamaHanji · 02/04/2017 17:34

You were not unreasonable at all.

One I used in my first pregnancy a few times was

'You're really small, you should be checked for blablabla you're baby probably isn't growing properly'

'Oh wow I didn't know you were medically trained! Can you look at this rash I can't seem to get rid of?'

Or something else like that.

I remember the disgusting look I was given when buying pate in the co-op when I was pregnant.

To be fair, I knew I shouldn't have it, but my morning sickness was so bad, I lost 2 stone in 2 months and couldn't eat anything for ages and I then had massive cravings for it. It stayed down too!

TillyTheTiger · 02/04/2017 17:43

My midwife said the CO test was useful for showing non-smoking mothers the effect on her and the baby of living with a smoker - she said quite a few women hadn't realised the impact and had since persuaded their partners to change their smoking habits, which has to be a good thing

treaclesoda · 02/04/2017 17:43

But of course it's in a Fosters glass and with the sun glinting off the glass it's impossible to tell it's only a weak shandy unless you study it so looks like you're swigging a pint.

I would have had the occasional alcohol free beer when out and about. Because i don't like soft drinks and got bored of fizzy water. (And yes, I know that alcohol free actually has 0.1% alcohol). The looks were very entertaining.

MiaowTheCat · 02/04/2017 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pawpainting · 02/04/2017 17:56

Caffeine and even moderate alcohol intake is linked to mc/prem birth

Really? Study after study has shown that low to moderate alcohol consumption has no adverse effects and may even be beneficial. Do you have a link to this new evidence?

Given that they administer heroin (diamorphine) to women in labour, I think a small glass of wine occasionally is fine. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years and the human race seems to be thriving.

Honestly, I think some people would be happy to see women admitted to a secure unit for the duration of their pregnancy to remove the option of them thinking for themselves about what they put in their bodies.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 02/04/2017 18:14

It's only a good thing if the women aren't lied to in order to persuade them to take the test tilly. Would also allow those of us who already know that nobody in our household smokes to opt out, thus saving the NHS money.

loulou1626 · 02/04/2017 18:34

It always seemed to happen to me on the days where I wasn't necessarily 'behaving' in terms of eating all the good stuff. I was constantly thirsty it seemed during my second trimester and sometimes water and squash just wouldn't cut it, so on the odd occasion I'd help myself to a bottle of lucozade sport and was once spotted doing so by a colleague who felt the need to stand and lecture me on the harm I was doing my unborn baby. Never mind the fact that I'd asked the midwife if it was alright for me to drink it on occasion, this person clearly knew best I also had times where I was, like other posters have said, eating little and often as opposed to eating big meals or portions, and this seemed to cause issue both ways: I was eating too little and that was bad, I was eating too much and did I not know I didn't need to eat for two etc etc. Needless to say I lost my temper a few times and, as any sensible person would know, never make a pregnant lady angry

The only time I didn't mind it was when the kids at work would catch me scoffing a mini bag of maltesers that I'd hide down my coat sleeve while on playground duty and they'd lecture me to 'eat my greens' because it was good for the baby-they even made up a song for me which they always sang

Littlecaf · 02/04/2017 19:13

The only time a stranger had given me advice about what to eat/take when preggo (except the midwife) was when buying a pregnancy test when preggo with DS and bought anti histamine at the same time. The pharmacist said "if that's positive, I reccomend you don't take those". I thought "fair enough".

In my first pregnancy I adhered to the guidance, this time I'm a bit more "meh" about it.

littleshoutymouse · 02/04/2017 19:17

Me today at MIL's:

MIL (looking pointedly at me, heavily pregnant): Now, this potato salad has mayonnaise on it so... (meaning "you aren't allowed any of this!"

Me: Oh goody, I love potato salad (dolloping a big blob on my plate)

To give her credit, she's used to me being pig headed about it and just rolls her eyes now!

Kitsandkids · 02/04/2017 19:44

I haven't really bothered worrying about the food advice during my pregnancy. But I don't like pate anyway, don't drink or smoke etc. I probably have been drinking too much Diet Coke but I've upped the fruit juice and milk intake to balance it out a bit!

The only time anyone's commented was when I popped to my local shop to buy some Anadin for my husband who had a headache. The guy on the till said,

'Oh are these ok? They've got caffeine in I think.'

I just thought it was really sweet of him to think of it!

corythatwas · 02/04/2017 19:50

I was lucky enough to spend part of both pregnancies on the ante-natal ward. The tea and coffee trolley came round at regular intervals and liver and onion was on the menu.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/04/2017 19:55

I had one paracetamol during my pregnancy. My mum compared it to Thalidomide. She actually used those words

Fl0ellafunbags · 02/04/2017 20:35

I had one paracetamol during my pregnancy

That reminds me of being offered paracetamol during labour. It's like getting beheaded and someone giving you a plaster for the scratch on your neck!

WildKiwi · 02/04/2017 20:43

When I was pregnant I worked with someone who had been very strict with what she ate while pregnant (some may think a tad over the top...)

After a very long Friday when I was about 6 months pregnant, on my way out the door I said me and DH were going to get a takeaway pizza and that I'd been looking forward to it all day. Response from colleague "Don't forget you can only have a cheese and tomato pizza".

Advice I'd had from my midwife was as long as it's cooked well, it's fine and that this included the forbidden cheeses. I really enjoyed my chicken, cranberry and camembert pizza. Told her on Monday I really enjoyed my cheese and tomato pizza .

Strangely enough though, when I was lamenting the reduction in tea drinking (cut myself down from constant tea drinking to one a day while pregnant) she told me that tea was fine, it's just coffee you have to cut down on

SecretNetter · 02/04/2017 20:47

Tbh I think a lot of people just spout the first thing that comes into their mind when they see a pg woman that they think they should say, without truly caring.

I've been told that I'm absolutely glowing and/or 'looking well'. Then ten minutes later told by someone else, with sympathy, that I look pale and tired. Been told that my bump is huge and my bump is neat the next day. That I'm carrying high/low or walking 'normally' or 'like a penguin' and lots of other contradictions within minutes of each other.

Some people just blurt the first thing out whether appearance or advice related and you just have to smile and nod or go crazy with it.

Mummatron3000 · 02/04/2017 20:47

Wow, I never had any of this with my 2 pregnancies. Maybe my "resting bitch face" put people off? Can't believe people think it's all right to comment on what pregnant women are eating/drinking!

SecretNetter · 02/04/2017 20:54

That reminds me of being offered paracetamol during labour. It's like getting beheaded and someone giving you a plaster for the scratch on your neck

With ds2 I was induced and started having contractions about 7.45pm. By 8.15 I asked to be checked as I was in a lot of pain and starting to feel pressure. My snotty mw insisted for ten minutes that I take paracetamol and see how it went as I had ages left...I demanded a check and I was 8cm and only just had chance to get to the birthing room!

OneLongDay · 02/04/2017 21:05

When I was around 6/7 pregnant in the summer I was going to a birthday BBQ so stopped off in morrisons to grab a bottle as a gift, the bottle I wanted was to high up for me to reach so I asked two men in the Isle of they could reach and pass it to me and they stood starred looked at each other then hesitated slowly reach got the bottle and passed it to me without saying a word 😐

Original poster

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 02/04/2017 21:21

I had one paracetamol during my pregnancy. My mum compared it to Thalidomide. She actually used those words

Yeah... Your mother would've shat a cow if she'd seen the way I coped with the fortnight of almost non-stop migraines I had to get through in the first trimester. By about day three, I actually started to space the four doses of paracetamol I was allowed out into eight single tablets four hours apart just so I had a chance of making it through both night and day. Still about as useful as a knitted condom though.

OP posts:

Pebbles1989 · 02/04/2017 21:21

Completely agree re. the carbon monoxide test. I'd have told the midwife to fuck off (and I've also never smoked in my life).

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 17 18