Having food/drink policed whilst pregnant

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

About three weeks ago, buying a full English takeout for OH...
Cook: "How do you want your eggs?"
Me: "Runny please."
Cook: "Ooooh... you know you shouldn't have runny eggs whilst pregnant. I'll fry it till it's hard." vanishes back into kitchen before I can stop her

Last week, in a pub garden with me, SIL, and OH...
Waiting staff: "What drinks do you want?"
Me: "Two white wines and a coke please."
waiting person returns with drinks
Waiting staff, trying to figure out who to give the drinks to, obviously concludes the wines are for me and SIL: "Ummm... did you want something else? I mean because... you know..."
Me: slightly confused stare since I hadn't twigged yet
Waiting staff: "Is the wine for you?"
Me: "No. It's for MIL else who's arriving imminently. I have a bottle of water in my bag."
Waiting staff: "Oh phew! For a minute there I thought you were going to drink whilst pregnant!" chuckles her way back inside

Today, in Spar, buying my lunch, along with three high-protein peanut bar snack things which actually, for once, are for me, and I've checked with the obstetrician that it's okay for me to eat these since I'm otherwise low on protein in my diet...
Checkout woman, looking at me, very deliberately at my bump, and then at the nutritional content on the bars, literally reading the guidance on there: "Are you allowed to eat these?? I don't think these are okay during pregnancy."
Me in a pretty flat, unimpressed voice: "Are you an obstetrician?"
Checkout woman: "... A what?"
Me: "A specialist in fetal development."
Checkout woman: "... Er... no...?"
awkward silence whilst she scans, I pay, and leave

Sat here, now, chomping on a maple and peanut bar, I feel like a bit of an arsehole in retrospect. So... WIBU to get a bit shirty with the checkout woman?

I had a hospital refuse to give me any morphine for almost 24 hours when I had my leg broken in 3 places and the bones dislocated. Two fucking paracetamol does not cut it under those conditions. I mean it is a hospital ffs, phone down to a fucking pharmacist or obstetrician and get the ok for some better drugs!! I was very fucking grateful when someone managed to approve half decent painkillers.

All you people eating prawns when pregnant. Just thinking about a prawn made me go a funny colour! Still does and DS is a month old

I also remember being a supermarket somewhere rural and buying some milk stout. The cahier asked 'are you pregnant love?' :). No, I'd just never seen milk stout before, but I know that it (and stout generally) were prescribed in the old days for pregnant women and my grandmother (born in the late 1800s) would have drunk this when pregnant. I just wanted to try it once was actually enough.

If the guidelines are based on scientific evidence why do they vary so much from country to country ?
Even doctors, nurses and midwives disagree.

Pregnant with number 4 here, enjoying the occasional glass of red, lots of runny eggs and soft cheese. Laying off the heroin, obv.

That did make me smile. As a mother of a "certain age" I had my boys back in the olden days when nothing at all was said about what you should or shouldn't eat or drink apart from, if I remember, runny cheese and pate. Anything in moderation was deemed fine - alcohol (and we were recommended to drink Guiness - ugh), coffee, whatever. Our boys and all the children of my friends seem to have managed to survive this dangerous time without harm. How the world has changed!

YANBU! mothers to be smoking outside entrance to maternity unit...ignored. Me trying to eat a prawn mayo baguette and a diet coke at work..."ooh I don't think you can have prawns lovie, and isn't there a lot of sweetener in diet coke?" Me internally "fuck the fuck off, your kids are older than me, you were probably tucking into Guinness and liver and onions back in the day". Me externally "no Jangle it's fine, the prawns are cooked and the diet coke is only occasional".

I worked with a guy who was a bit of a busy body anyway and just never stopped talking when he came into the office. When I was pregnant he was endlessly giving me unwanted advice and asking me things like "isn't that your second cup of coffee today?" , and then when my manager was treating us to bacon and egg cobs one Friday, as I put my order in (which included a runny egg) he piped up "you're not allowed it" . This really annoyed me and instantly I said very cuttingly "errr you're not mine nor my baby's dad so yes I will have a bloody runny egg". The office went a bit quiet
I thought at the time god I feel sorry for his wife that she deal with this for 9 months of pregnancy and beyond, incidentally they are now split up! I can completely understand why

The only disapproving comment I had was in the 1980's on my second pregnancy when I had gestational diabetes and the diabetic consultant tutted about wine - he said he knew that obstetricians reckoned it was ok but he thought the consumption should be zero!. I ignored this (but obviously didn't overindulge) BTW when I had DS earlier the hospital that I was in offered a daily glass of milk or Mackeson's (stout) to breastfeeding mums, but hating beer I chose the milk.

"why do they vary so much from country to country ?" Because they're based on the conditions in that country including the dominating genetics.

I was once ( attemptedly) refused hummous in an m and s food at a garage when heavily pregnant.

I did actually say "do you know who I am?" and subjected her to a lecture on safe foods during pregnancy ( I was her GP) . Then she let me buy it.

general waiters/staff shouldnt comment not their business

if doctors are concerened then yes of course but its your body not anyone elses

I once went to the pharmacy to buy some Sudafed Blocked Nose spray, the shop assistant quietly whispered "is it for you? Pregnant women aren't supposed to be taking it"
I said "I know, it's only to be used once or twice so can I pay for it please", she did a bit of an embarrassed laugh and said "sorry, we just have to check these things, I'm sure you understand", I was like "haha of course don't worry" but internally I was , what do you think I'm going to do luv, snort it up both nostrils all night and get off my head on it?

As one of my Italian/French friends pointed out, if you struck off your "allowed" list everything that all developed countries currently advise against (based on their best scientific evidence), you'd eat virtually nothing, and if you ate what they all consider to be allowable, you could probably eat everything.

With that in mind, maybe I'll just get all radical. Tonight's dinner menu: paté-stuffed shark fin in crunchy coffee bean coating served with a mercury-and-vodka glaze.

OP, you have just identified the next major food trend.

(I am sure Heston lurks on these threads).

I just remembered - back in my first pregnancy my OH actually tried to do a bit of food policing. I think he went after the single glorious beautiful orgasmic cup of tea that I perve over each morning. If memory serves, my response was somewhere along the lines of "Get between me and that, and so help me god I'll rip your face off and eat the flesh". He's never made that mistake since.

even moderate alcohol intake is linked to mc/prem birth

Do you have any source of that? I read studies showing that light to moderate alcohol intake it had either no, or a positive effect - in fact, the major, millennial cohort study showed just that.

Lots of things are linked to MC - for example, exercise. I was advised by my consultant to take aspirin (I'm obese) and which is also associated with dangers as well as benefits. We can all weigh these up and make a call on the risks - being pregnant doesn't stop our brains working.

SuperTrumper - I was refused Olbas Oil in Boots.. I went to the next pharmacy and got it there instead.

I'm dozing as didn't sleep last night so can't see properly to look, but last time I looked it up (not long ago) there was a study that is what the RCOG refer to.

Several obs&gynaes have even publicly said they think the guidelines for both caffeine and alcohol should be zero - especially as people tend to push the boundaries anyway

I remember a friend telling me that his wife got a lecture from a waiter when near the end of her pregnancy she decided to indulge in half a bottle of beer (he had the other half). His wife was a doctor herself, and had weighed up all the risks ( and was considerably more qualified to do so than the waiter.) None of my doctor friends have entirely abstained from alcohol during pregnancy, they've all been satisfied that there is no evidence for small amounts being harmful. (By which I mean the odd glass of bubbly at an event, or half a glass on the occasional Saturday night).

'Several obs&gynaes have even publicly said they think the guidelines for both caffeine and alcohol should be zero - especially as people tend to push the boundaries anyway'

It must be awful to be in a profession where you believe all your clients are ignorant, brainless liars who need to be policed like children.

I'm attending a hen do next month - I'm travelling 4 hours on a train for a prosecco afternoon tea. I mentioned to my dh that I was going to enjoy my one glass of prosecco - you'd have thought I'd told him I was going to shoot up. I really pushed the boundaries when I told him I'd be enjoying a glass of champagne during the wedding toasts in June after driving alone for 5 hours to get to the wedding.

"It must be awful to be in a profession where you believe all your clients are ignorant, brainless liars who need to be policed like children."

Most medical professionals assume patients lie when it comes to

Alcohol, smoking, diet, drug use, medication compliance, exercise

As it's very common and they can usually tell the truth from how they present/symptoms anyway.

Eg the obese type 2 diabetic who swears they live on salad.

The 40-a-day smoker who's repeatedly getting throat and chest infections and stinks of smoke but swears they've quit.

I was refused coffee (and when you're on one weak latte a day compared to non-pg habit it's a brave man who dares....) and more bizarrely Rennies (by a pharmacist)

I was refused fybogel by a pharmacist. I was trying to buy it on the recommendation of my doctor

Then why ask? If you're operating on the presumption that everyone is a liar?