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Original poster

Having food/drink policed whilst pregnant

438 replies

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 02/04/2017 11:10

About three weeks ago, buying a full English takeout for OH...
Cook: "How do you want your eggs?"
Me: "Runny please."
Cook: "Ooooh... you know you shouldn't have runny eggs whilst pregnant. I'll fry it till it's hard." vanishes back into kitchen before I can stop her

Last week, in a pub garden with me, SIL, and OH...
Waiting staff: "What drinks do you want?"
Me: "Two white wines and a coke please."
waiting person returns with drinks
Waiting staff, trying to figure out who to give the drinks to, obviously concludes the wines are for me and SIL: "Ummm... did you want something else? I mean because... you know..."
Me: slightly confused stare since I hadn't twigged yet
Waiting staff: "Is the wine for you?"
Me: "No. It's for MIL else who's arriving imminently. I have a bottle of water in my bag."
Waiting staff: "Oh phew! For a minute there I thought you were going to drink whilst pregnant!" chuckles her way back inside

Today, in Spar, buying my lunch, along with three high-protein peanut bar snack things which actually, for once, are for me, and I've checked with the obstetrician that it's okay for me to eat these since I'm otherwise low on protein in my diet...
Checkout woman, looking at me, very deliberately at my bump, and then at the nutritional content on the bars, literally reading the guidance on there: "Are you allowed to eat these?? I don't think these are okay during pregnancy."
Me in a pretty flat, unimpressed voice: "Are you an obstetrician?"
Checkout woman: "... A what?"
Me: "A specialist in fetal development."
Checkout woman: "... Er... no...?"
awkward silence whilst she scans, I pay, and leave

Sat here, now, chomping on a maple and peanut bar, I feel like a bit of an arsehole in retrospect. So... WIBU to get a bit shirty with the checkout woman?

OP posts:
Greyponcho · 04/04/2017 11:15

Do people really need an alcoholic drink so badly that they'll drink while pregnant?
It's one thing to have a few sips to try some that your partner is having with their meal, but what is the need for having a glass of wine?

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 11:34

Do people really need an alcoholic drink so badly that they'll drink while pregnant?

Do people really need a cake so much that they fill their body with sugar while they are pregnant?

Botanicbaby · 04/04/2017 11:37

I can understand why you got a bit shirty with the checkout staff as it must be wearing to have your good choices questioned but think you were needlessly rude and condescending with your remark about obstetricians.

She may have been trying to be kind and helpful. Saying that, I don't understand why some people care about what other people eat, pregnant or otherwise.

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 04/04/2017 11:43

Greyponcho Humans don't need probably 90% of what that consume - a cup of tea, some chocolate, a big slice of cake, a runny egg, a coke, a prawn cocktail, a tuna sandwich, a medium-rare steak, etc. We choose these things because they're a nice treat. Alcohol is, by its very nature, a relaxant, and pregnancy is, by its very nature, sometimes stressful. Some people self-medicate for a stressful day with icecream and TV. Some with escapism through a book. Some with a rare glass of wine. We could judge all of these strategies and point out that they aren't dealing with the problem or we could accept that life is imperfect and we're generally all doing the best we can at that moment.

OP posts:
10storeylovesong · 04/04/2017 11:45

greyponcho I don't NEED a glass of wine. But after I've travelled 4 hours by train just to attend a prosecco afternoon tea, to then travel 4 hours home again in the same day I will be making damn sure that I enjoy my one glass of prosecco. Similarly, after I've driven by myself for 5 hours to attend the subsequent wedding I will be enjoying a glass of fizz with the toasts. They are the only drinks I will be having during my pregnancy and I really couldn't care less about your - or anybody else's - judgement.

I'm pretty sure people don't NEED crisps, chocolate, cake, or anything else that has no nutritional value but they enjoy it and that is entirely up to them.

Greyponcho · 04/04/2017 11:59

Do people really need a cake so much that they fill their body with sugar while they are pregnant?
Well probably not, but if you google "effects of cake during pregnancy" and "effects of alcohol during pregnancy" you get very different results.

Each to their own and all that, but for me, personally - it isn't worth the risk.

Roomster101 · 04/04/2017 12:03

She may have been trying to be kind and helpful. Saying that, I don't understand why some people care about what other people eat, pregnant or otherwise.

She wouldn't be "kind and helpful" towards an obese person who was buying unhealthy food though or a (non-pregnant) person buying cigarettes or alcohol though would she? So why is it okay for non healthcare professionals to give pregnant women advice they haven't asked for?

Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 12:07

Well probably not, but if you google "effects of cake during pregnancy" and "effects of alcohol during pregnancy" you get very different results.

Yeah but being obese is a bigger risk than the odd glass of wine. So why risk eating cake?

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 04/04/2017 12:18

Greyponcho According to diabetes.co.uk, "blood glucose control is one of the most important factors during pregnancy. Tight blood glucose control, helps to ensure the best chance of a successful pregnancy." Sugar does also have an addictive quality, and through this, high sugar intake during pregnancy is also associated with increased obesity in the child in later life.

So yes, I'd say stuffing yourself with excessive amounts of (presumably sugary) cake during pregnancy could have all kinds of very serous, and potentially lifelong ramifications for both mother and unborn child, in the same way as drinking excessive amounts of alcohol does.

Which takes us neatly back to the general conclusion of the thread: moderation, common sense, and using our best judgement.

OP posts:
ElisavetaFartsonira · 04/04/2017 12:24

You do get very different results from google, but presumably you don't think that because something comes up on a search engine, it must be true? If there's one thing this thread has demonstrated, it's that lots of people know fuck all, and some of those people have internet access.

So personally, I'm more interested in why you'd set the barometer at 'do you really need' in respect of consuming something at a level that has not been shown to be risky. And why you aren't applying this same approach across the board. I'm also assuming you have a reason for being so imprecise with your measurements- a few sips, a glass, have you perhaps come across some research discussing these amounts? I'd be fascinated to hear about it.

And yes, obesity is a documented risk factor. In a way that moderate alcohol consumption, 1-2 units a week, is not. I say this as someone who didn't drink when pregnant but always had a BMI of over 25, in case anyone thinks I'm being defensive.

Greyponcho · 04/04/2017 12:38

Because a few sips is all you need to get a taste of the wine, should you do wish to taste it.

I was making reference to another poster saying about eating a cake - I didn't say that it's perfectly acceptable to be stuffing your face with nothing but cake throughout pregnancy as some have interpreted this as Hmm

if there's one thing this thread has demonstrated it's that lots of people who know fuck all, and some of those people have internet access
I made reference to googling something to make a point - I do not bear all that is on the internet as gospel.

TheGrumpySquirrel · 04/04/2017 12:38

Really upset that I've gone off coffee instead of alcohol. Looks like I'll be replacing my daily flat white with a prosecco Wink

treaclesoda · 04/04/2017 12:41

I never need a glass of wine, pregnant or not. But I really enjoy one when I have it.

Some people really enjoy the taste of wine. Or coffee. Or seafood. Or cake. Or chocolate. And they still enjoy the taste when they're pregnant. And they are capable of weighing up the risk and deciding that they're happy with it. If someone else decides they're not happy with the risk that's entirely up to them.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 04/04/2017 12:43

Again though, why do you not understand why people need to consume more than is necessary to get a taste of something, when the sort of consumption you mention hasn't been shown to carry any risk? You clearly aren't applying this to everything pregnant women eat and drink, after all. So, why is that? Do you perhaps have the idea that one glass of wine is risky, and if so what's the basis for that?

harleysmammy · 04/04/2017 12:55

I had British lion stamped runny eggs and got food poisoning from them when I was 14 weeks, it does happen. Thankfully my boy is still perfect at 36 weeks but for those saying it's fine to eat runny eggs with the stamp, it isn't always.

nicolachristine · 04/04/2017 13:02

Old man in Waitrose telling me not to buy grapes as wine is made out of them.

I also threatened to break someones fingers if they did not remove them from my belly (random guy on the tube starting to coo to my belly). Hormones might have made me a little crabby.

RedBlu · 04/04/2017 13:05

I am now 33 weeks pregnant and so far the only things someone has dared to tell me I should eat was a tuna mayo sandwich and a can of coke.

I have perhaps one weak coffee a day, a Diet Coke or a caffeine free coke. I also eat tuna, mayo, runny eggs, soft cheese, medium steak, etc but I don't drink or smoke so I think I am doing pretty well!

RedBlu · 04/04/2017 13:05

Shouldn't eat, nor should

ethelfleda · 04/04/2017 13:48

I'm nearly 8 weeks and was fully intending on still having two cups of coffee a day (which equal less than the guidelines indicate) but as luck would have I now cannot stand the stuff!

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 04/04/2017 14:00

Ethel I had that with my first, but have faith. Your taste for it might come back. Somewhere in the second trimester of my first pregnancy it did for me, though admittedly my liking of it wasn't as strong as after I'd finally shot DS out and had a week or two for my hormones to go back to normal. I couldn't even stand the smell of any fish/seafood without hurling violently though. This time round I could happily sink gallons of coffee from day one to the present, and I'm not remotely bothered by fish/seafood. In fact I don't think I've gone off anything this time. It's just so unpredictable.

OP posts:
Increasinglymiddleaged · 04/04/2017 14:04

Because a few sips is all you need to get a taste of the wine, should you do wish to taste it

Yeah bit like you only need a few crumbs of cake to taste it really. Your judgy pants hoiking over a single little glass of vino is still making no logical sense at all.

LadyTennantofTardis · 04/04/2017 14:12

I find the picture of a pregnant women with a cross through her like a no smoking sign on alcohol very offensive.

MyheartbelongstoG · 04/04/2017 14:13

I can't understand why anyone would drink when pregnant but each to their own.

Maybe these people genuinely thought they were being helpful.

Original poster
ForTheSakeOfFuck · 04/04/2017 14:14

Indeed. Like you can't be trusted to go in a bar without immediately drinking directly from the nearest draught tap.

OP posts:
namechange20050 · 04/04/2017 14:21

It's a shame that an interesting and funny thread has turned into people trying to be goady about women having a glass of wine a week while pregnant. It's really boring. Interestingly my consultant told me that there was no harm at all in one small glass a week and in fact it could be viewed as beneficial to people who find drinking alcohol relaxing.