To think that an 18 month old should sleep on her own???

[M2R2]

DH think she is still too small and he prefer to sleep next to her every night than to see her crying.
She is sharing a bed with us. Even if i put her to sleep in her bed she would wake up middle of the night and come to us.
I am tiered and fed up

DH couldn't take it when she called him as he felt she is asking for his help. But instead of kissing her and putting her back to bed he went and slept next to her.
So now she knows that when i call daddy i get what i want.

Lola-where all what starts? Why does she need to be in her own room when clearly she is showing she needs to be close to her parents at the moment? Sounds like DH is responding to her needs and I really cannot see how that is seen as a negative. OP, you're starting to sound jealous and resentful of her.

Well you obviously think it is fine, that is up to you.

No, I don't agree with controlled crying you're advocating.

I also don't like the negative tone and language, (including the training) you've used to talk about your daughter (s) in your posts. She isn't 'spoilt'

poor Op, you are getting a lot of harsh comments here! I could never sleep with Baby or child in my bed, we had early morning cuddles and that was great, my 1st child went into own room (right next to ours) at 12 weeks, when 2nd child came along a year later the 1st went into the bigger bedroom and 2nd child stayed in crib with us until 12 weeks and then moved to the small room next to us, we honestly never had a problem because I trained them (nothing wrong with that word) from day one, it is your husband who is the problem here and he is spoiling her! good luck and I hope you can sort it with him.

She's 18 MONTHS OLD!!!! A BABY!!!!!! She will not 'understand' that she needs to be in her own room no matter how much 'training' you do. FFS. How the fuck do you 'spoil' an 18mo?? So much wrong with this thread.

Controlled crying and training from day one, Iris Wow

She doesn't need to understand! FFS she is a Baby! she does not rule the household! she is obviously loved and cherished but the parents needs and well being are important as well, If mum sleeps better without her in her bed she should be allowed to do so, Baby will come to no harm and mum will feel so much better to to get on with the job of caring for her family.

Iris, you put your 3mo baby in their own room. You're not the best person to be giving advice out.

Sockpuppet lyrical? what generation are you from?

Shock , horror Orange, and they are still alive, healthy, and thriving.

Sockpuppets are a generational thing are they? I think not Babies, and other people, often find them amusing.

And controlled crying sleep training from 'day one' apparently.

I never said I did controlled crying...in fact I am against that! I was just a matter of 3 feet away from my baby at all times, this mum just wants to sleep in her own bed and her baby once used to the idea will probably sleep better in her own space too.

Ok then, how do you 'sleep train' a day old+ baby, Iris40. Was that on health visitor advice?

Oh dear Orange, you and lyrical are obsessed with sock puppets! just so you know Iris is my grandmothers name lol and I am not of the older generation that the name Iris is associated with.

sorry guys I have to go now but will catch up at a later date.

No, babies & small children sleeping in a separate room to parents is very recent in terms of human behaviour and there are still many families who don't do this.

I agree op you seem resentful and jealous of your children. And of your dh's relationship with them. Is there a chance you're suffering from PND/AND? Might be a good idea to see dr.

You do need to sit down and converse with dh - you need to do a good bit of listening.

A larger bed, putting a bed/cot for your 18mo baby in your room could help.

I agree 18mo are not 'manipulative' or 'spoilt'. She is just acting naturally to have her basic needs met.

No need to answer but perhaps relevant? that's a large age gap between eldest and no2.

Well that was weird

Not your post, Graphista

Perhaps discuss with your husband the practicalities of when the new baby is here, you will have to try and get the older one to sleep in her cot then, and it might make her feel pushed out by the new baby. Far better to sort it before the new one comes. Also they warn against co sleeping when you are exhausted, and with a new born and a 2 year old, you will most likely be.

I think if the OP had said she was happy with co-sleeping but her DH wasn't and wouldn't sleep in a different bed either, then the DH would be being judged as pretty unreasonable.

Op is she still waking for feeds at night? Ds was similar, still in out room and sone if the night in our bed, he'd wake for a feed then Co sleep. Once we stopped night feeds, he stopped waking. It did take a while though.

As he started off in his cot in our room, once he stopped waking he spent all night in his cot.

I wanted him in his own room long before the new baby arrived but this didn't happen (due to husband) until baby was three weeks old, so I had then both in my room.

I was annoyed as I felt ds would feel pushed out. Actually, I don't think he did as he's never been anu problem in his own room and seems to love having a room of his own.

Have I read correctly that the two DD share a bed, OP?

I wish my 8 year old and 4 year old had read the memo.