Ok I'll try to keep it brief. Basically I have a child with my DH who is over 18. When they were born DH and I were not married and we decided to give our child a double barrelled surname, DHs surname and my maiden name. When we married we renamed the child with my DHs surname as I was taking it too, so we would all be the same.
Our child has recently decided that they would like to revert back to the double barrelled name. They say it's because they want to feel like they are honouring both families. Our child is over 18, lives at home still and is very family oriented.
DH has flipped, he thinks our child is dishonouring his name and breaking up the family unit. I don't agree, I think our child is an adult and if they want to change their name then that's their choice. I don't think we can control the actions of our children, only guide them to make the right choices. I have suggested that our child use the name in social media but not change it officially yet, as I feel he should get a feel for it rather than make a rash decision. DH thinks it's a stupid idea completely but has told our child that it's their decision he just doesn't agree with it.
However, the real issue here, finally, is that DH is really pissed at me for not supporting him, not backing him up in telling our child not to change their name. We don't agree on this issue and I don't feel that I should back him up just because he wants me to. Aibu? I see where he's coming from but I don't agree with his opinion, should I be supporting an opinion I don't share to support my husband?