AIBU to let my son skip this at school?

[Redcliff]

My DS is 10 and has been doing WW2 at school. Tomorrow the class are watching "boy in the striped pyjamas". We had to sign a consent slip last week and were happy to do so. Tonight he has been in tears saying he doesn't want to see it.

My DP has made some good points about how important a film it is but I hate to think of him so upset. AIBU to tell his teacher that he can sit it out?

I'm an adult and I found the film very, very difficult to watch. I would not make a 10 year old watch it under any circumstances. There are other ways to educate about the horrors of the holocaust.

fortheloveofcats:

I wouldn't make anyone watch it. But as you say, even as an adult you found it difficult, whereas as a child I would have been fine with it. The subject is emotive and different people deal with that in different ways. It isn't necessarily the case that older equals more able to deal with it. For how long do we protect them?

Why is it a bad thing for children to be upset about something like this? To be honest I think it's a good thing to evoke strong emotions in a history lesson. I'd absolutely ask him to watch it. I'm sure if he got too upset the teacher would look after him. If children of his age lived through it in real life then surely he can watch it or at least try too. They weren't too young to actually go through it 80 ish years ago.

They weren't too young to actually go through it 80 ish years ago.

Erm...

I'm sure you didn't mean that quite the way it came out

Nothing wrong with being upset. There is age guidance for a reason though. It's not hard and fast of course, but is there to protect young people from seeing things they are not ready for, which may cause more lasting effects than being a bit upset momentarily.

I studied the holocaust at school at 10, via the diary of Anne Frank.

There is nothing in the diary of Anne Frank that talks about the holocaust, they don't know what is happening although they suspect.

OP sounds like he is really worked up. If it is just crying he is worried about then he could ask to sit at the back and leave if he does get upset but you know him best, if you think this would upset him then perhaps he is better off not seeing it.

As for children involved in these events, well there are children in Syria being bombed, there are 9 year old girls being 'married' to grown men and there are children running drugs, sleeping on railway platforms, carrying and using guns in the world, but there should not be. Children should be shielded and feel safe, all children. But what we can do to protect all children is limited, what you can do to protect your own child is soething yu can do.

Crumbs, the Holocaust exhibition is recommended for age 14 and over (just Googled as I remember mine were too young.

I don't think op is being precious about this, learning about things at an age appropriate time is fine - there's loads of education and life left to become informed about historical atrocities and their importance and relevance.

I would still find this film extremely distressing. People are perfectly capable of learning about the holocaust without seeing it. I would let him not watch it if he preferred not to.

Agree that it's not a great movie or book. But it can be read on different levels - as adults we have a true understanding of what is going on and what happens to the two boys at the end, but it's not explicitly shown. It's a distressing and upsetting movie because of the overall theme but isn't something like Schindler's List where you see the shootings and brutality. It's more implied.

However I don't think it's suitable for 10 year olds and if OP thinks her child would be distressed, definitely pull them out.

My extremely sensitive dd2 watched it at that age and was fine. I wouldn't say she enjoyed it, but was pleased she'd seen it if that makes sense.
But as a family we've been very open about the holocaust because we lost a lot of relatives on the continent during WWII.

I teach WWII. We never teach about he holocaust

This oppposite apporach also makes no sense - you cannot teach WW2 without teaching the holocaust. Makes no sense whatsoever. No you don't have to go into the gory details but the extermination of the Jews and other "undesirables" was such a massive part of Nazi doctrine that you're doing an extremely poor job if it's not mentioned at all. You'd be better doing something totally different.

The DVD is a 12 so why are they letting 10 year olds watch it?

Paperclips is a U and just as educational.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0380615/

Given that kids already study WWII/Nazis quite a bit at secondary school, my main concern here is, why is this being done at primary level as well? Surely time should be spent on other historical periods that won't get covered at secondary.

People are perfectly capable of learning about the holocaust without seeing it.
Yes. I (and more importantly young children) don't need to see distressing film to understand the horrendous things which have happened in the world, and still do. There are age restrictions for reasons. If he thinks he would be distressed, why make him watch an age inappropriate film?

It's year 7 isn't it? I think 10 is too young

I wouldn't let my nearly 10 yr old DD watch it - she had nightmares for several weeks after watching Soul Surfer (PG). But I would (and do) talk to her about the Holocaust and Rwanda etc - yes she needs to know about things like that but to a level of detail that she can cope with. Just as she needs to know about keeping safe in various ways (from crossing the road to sexual abuse) without graphic details of what these entail.

Yanbu. My 12 yo was meant to watch it at high school last year but they decided at the last min to pull it due to questions over suitability. 10 is too young for most kids imo.

Listen to your son.hes telling you clearly what is right for him.

I have always had a interest in the subject and expect my kids to learn about it.
I took my older ones to the IWM not long after their exhibition opened. I don't know if its still the case but the guidance was for over 8s only.
I acted as sign language interpreter for a group of elderly jewish people round the exhibit. That was bloody intense.

I wouldn't make my kids watch a film about it. Reading is very different from seeing a 'hollywood' movie. PP have already bought up that films are not always authentic and they are always manipulative. All that music and direction is designed to elicit strong emotion.
You don't get to make your own mind up like you do in a book.

I would prefer my kids to learn about such an important period in our history from authentic, good quality materials.

Also....I have never watched Shindler's list and have no plans to. Idon't want to put myself through that. It would be hypocritical of me to put my kids through similar.

This is NOT the same as not wanting them to learn about the Holocaust.

It's not a good film so he's not missing much.
However, if the rest of the class are watching it and talking about it afterwards then he might feel out of the loop.
It's on youtube. You could suggest that you and he watch it together at home, on the understanding that you will stop it as soon as he asks.

Are they seeing the whole film (about 100 minutes) or an edit?

Get him to read about Anne Frank instead? I read her diary when I was younger than 10, and went to a local exhibition about her. I do think she is more digestible for children, even though it's obviously a horrible thing to have to have happened. At least it's factual, rather than misery-porn style emotive rubbish like The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas.

If it's WW2 in general and not the holocaust in particular, what about reading Goodnight Mister Tom? I watched the TV film at about 10/11 and found it harrowing so I'd stick with the book for now.

Tinfoilhattie- as I've already said, the holocaust isn't part of the ks2 curriculum. When you study WWII in primary school The focus is life on the home front - and usually the focus is children's life on the home front. It has been this way for years.

I'm still scarred from doing a big project on the Titanic at that age. I think it is too young. I am very sensitive about films and he might be the same. I deal with hideous stuff at work in real life but won't watch Schindler's List, Titanic etc.

I remember watching Schindler's List in school for history but I think we were about 13/14 then. I sobbed my heart out.

But then I remember the lunch bell went just before the end and a bunch of kids left because they thought the film was boring. Only a few of us stayed until the end.

It is important that children learn about events like this, but I do think that 10 is a bit too young

It was a small childs picture book to start with

That surprised me

I think you should support him as you have been doing