AIBU to let my son skip this at school?

[Redcliff]

My DS is 10 and has been doing WW2 at school. Tomorrow the class are watching "boy in the striped pyjamas". We had to sign a consent slip last week and were happy to do so. Tonight he has been in tears saying he doesn't want to see it.

My DP has made some good points about how important a film it is but I hate to think of him so upset. AIBU to tell his teacher that he can sit it out?

I would discuss with him and then let him skip it. I've seen the film and really didn't like it for various reasons. But I certainly wouldn't say it was essential viewing to understand WW2. I think reading about it ('When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit') for example is very different from watching a film and agree with others that at your ds's age it should be presented factually.
If it were one of my ds's I would also tell him that I was telling the teachers that it was my decision not to let him watch it and that (to avoid him feeling self conscious in front of his peers - in case he might be worried about that) that he had no say in the matter.

Just curious why we are more worried about our young children learning about an atrocity that happened many many years ago (awful as it is), than what is happening now in North Korea?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoeryong_concentration_camp

Chairman Mao killed 45 million of his own people by starvation and other means!

www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/news/maos-great-leap-forward-killed-45-million-in-four-years-2081630.html

" At least 45 million people were worked, starved or beaten to death in China over these four years; the worldwide death toll of the Second World War was 55 million."

Do ten year olds need to know all this?

It's a fucking horrible world and kids need to know it in age appropriate ways and at different times in terms of their own ability to take on board the terrible 'news'. IMHO

The late David Cesarani, a respected Holocaust scholar, disliked The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. There's more information why in this PDF from UCL's Centre for Holocaust Information.

Other books I read as a child are The Upstairs Room by Johanna Reiss and The Endless Steppe by Esther Hautzig (well actually I read that one at university), as well as When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit, Goodnight Mister Tom and Back Home. I remember my friend being shocked by Friedrich and I Was There.

We did almost nothing about WW2 at school, despite it having only been 50 years ago at the time, let alone the Holocaust.

YANBU or precious. You are the parent and you know what's best for your child. But I would discuss the reasons with him as suggested in the previous post. As a secondary school teacher who has tried to teach the text with a year 8 class, only to be confronted with two thirds of the class switching off because they'd seen the film in primary school, I have another reason to feel that primary school teachers should leave well alone.

That is a harrowing film, I found it upsetting and no way would I allow my DD to see it. Film has a much more profound impact than, for example, reading. My dD is 7 and can't even watch Disney films yet. I cannot imagine that she will be ready to cope with Holocaust movies in 2 and a half years. I don't try and insulate her from reality, and we talk about things we hear on the news ( eg Westminster attack) and we talk about the war when the subject arises, eg visiting London museum. Apart from anything, Striped Pyjamas is fiction, and a rather unlikely scenario, it's a fable more than anything. Why would they not use a truly classic story like The Diary of Anne Frank to illustrate the real experience of a real family in the Holocaust.

Crumbs1 . Are you for real?? calling the woman precious ?
She's got every right to feel concerned about forcing her son to watch that movie if it the thought of it is too distressing.
He can be taught about historical events in a manner that doesn't involve sitting through a harrowing movie. I think I managed to grasp the severity of the holocaust without the need for an upsetting film .

OP if your son is dreading this movie then 100% speak to the teacher tell her you withdraw your consent as you don't want your child distressed by it's content.

Sara107 I totally agree

Far too traumatic for ten year olds to see, what are their teachers thinking? Sad, sad film. I regret seeing it.

Dd10 studied WW2 at the beginning of year 6, they read when Hitler stole pink rabbit and Goodnight Mr Tom as well as visiting the national holocaust centre and digging for victory in the school garden.
Since then she has read the diary of Anne Frank and also Once by Morris Gleitzmen which she really enjoyed.

I do hope your son was able to skip the film and I hope that none of the children have been upset. I suppose the teacher had watched it previously? No way is it suitable. Some children may have Jewish connections, and although they will surely learn/already know about the holocaust this film will not help at all.
A film that upset me was 'Charlotte Gray' --which ends with the two small boys on the train to a camp. Enough to make anyone cry, especially if they have small boys.

I learnt about the Holocaust (part of WW2 History) when I was 11. This wasn't a dramatisation, but actual footage of the atrocities. It obviously made a huge impression on me and my peers to say the least. I remember it to this day (40 years later). And in all honesty, I feel it taught me how lucky I was (and still am). And how to appreciate my life, my parents (even my revolting little brother ;-) ) and how this should NEVER happen again.
My parents were wonderful, intelligent and caring and never once even suggested that I shouldn't be exposed to this

"He refuses to rewatch Monster House" there's no telling what will get to you.

It's not just Jewish children or children with Jewish relatives, but any child in that class who may have witnessed genocidal actions or have close relatives that have witnessed/been victims of genocide.

Entirely possible in many classrooms at the moment.

I felt the same about the Morpurgo books that were (and I guess still are) all the rage when ds was in Y6. Dirgey, mawkish toss. I think I'm in a minority of one on that though.

You aren't alone. Morpurgo books are mostly dire and I actively steer children away from them.

Oh thank goodness for that, Perspicacia - I'm not alone!

Why are they so revered though?

Crikey that is really young. My 12 yo has recently watched it but even then I had doubts

I have a suspicion that adults who don't like reading adult fiction can cope with Morpurgo and therefore think he is brilliant. I don't meet a lot of children asking to read his books voluntarily, they (or their parents) tend to have come across them on recommended reading lists. It is self-perpetuating.

way too young. Don't let him watch it.

I was not at all impressed when I read 'War Horse' Perspicacia. Unnecessary deaths and kept thinking of 'Black Beauty'

I was married to a man who swore blind the holocaust never happened. We are now divorced but he still thinks he's right

Helsinkilights
They weren't just not fed well or given medicine. They were, in many, many cases, killed straight away for who they were, mostly Jews but also Roma, and lots of other groups considered subhuman.
I agree there are different ways to discuss the topic according to age etc but thisthe deliberate targeting of certain ethnic/religious and other groups is fundamental to what made the holocaust (or genocide more broadly) , different. I've also sat in classes at primary where holocaust was discussed withY1/2 (very general terms but saying people were killed for being different) and with year 6s. Many of the latter were already really well informed, had read Anne Frank etc.
It may be a good idea for the OP's child to sit out the movie and find other ways to learn about the topic but I really don't think that it's a topic that has to be left to secondary school if handled sensitively.

IndieTara
I'd an argument on Twitter with a Holocaust Denier. On Holocaust Memorial Day. Their argument seemed to have come from a pamphlet &/or website somewhere - so they had a veneer of knowledge, but it cracked VERY easily: e.g. he tried to argue it being proven Nazis hadn't really made lampshades from human skin meant that the Holocaust was also a lie but didn't know anything about the context of said lampshade story. His usual line of "what about Russia?" also failed & he got stuck in a loop because I knew vastly more than he did about not only the Gulags but was also aware of political purges & famines (am not a Russianist, but not hard to be better-informed). He also tried "Holocaust is a word that was made up in the 1970s", which fell VERY flat indeed - I mean, seriously, it's referenced in the founding documents of Israel in the 1940s specifically meaning the Nazi one; but earliest known use in reference to systematic murder of Jewish people = C12... Oh & he also tried to tell me that it was illegal to challenge any aspect of the accepted narrative anywhere in Europe. Apparently the reality of Holocaust Denial being illegal in certain countries "amounts to the same thing". . He fully thinks that David Irving is some kind of hero who has been silenced & Richard Evans is a monster & part of The Conspiracy. Given he doesn't actually work on the Holocaust, that's some pretty slack conspiring, really...

I agree jellybean. I'm of a generation where my grandparents served in WWII.

One was a medic who I learned MUCH later from my father had been one of the first people at a camp when it was liberated. He rarely spoke of that, but he was very anti-bigotry and divisiveness, and he did discuss other war experiences with us. His brother was a pow, I didn't know him very well as he died when I was quite young. Partly due to ongoing health issues from the war.

My other grandfather served outside Europe. He'd never even been outside Scotland before that! He was shocked by the normal pre war poverty and oppression he became aware of as a result of his experiences.

One grandmother worked in a catering position in the uk, the other wasn't allowed to say what she'd done for a long time

The effects are wide and long reaching,

I remember watching Cambridge spies, with my mother and her saying when she discussed these traitors with her parents they were incensed. They said they should've been hung for treason, that they likely cost thousands of British soldiers their lives and possibly prolonged the war.

Zebra well done you for challenging that numpty (the more posts I read of yours the more I like you )

I've seen photos and video taken at the liberation of Bergen-Belsen and auschwitz and read documents written by survivors and liberators.

Walking skeletons with vacant expressions (because they didn't dare believe it was finally over for them) completely heartbreaking.

Jelly My DD was around 7 when she asked me about Hitler. I do know about the holocaust & what exactly went on, however I was not going to give her the full horrific details at just turned 7.
She's 10 now & as she's very imaginative & sensitive I think she's still not ready for the full details.
She started reading The Silver Sword at 9 & got extremely upset after a few chapters & refused to carry on reading it.
I read The Silver Sword at the same age & I was fine with it.

Computer I think Morpurgo is shit too!